Need your help-part vent, part need to pick your brains

jflower

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 3:02 pm

I live in Brooklyn & never heard of such a thing. The Brooklyn people I know will travel (weather permitting) to Queens, Monsey or Lakewood if that's where the wedding is.

OP, I must tell you that we have family in Monsey & the trip takes more than 45-60 min. It's closer to 90 min. There are some people who won't want to drive 3 hrs (round trip) at night to attend a wedding, but there are many who will.

Whatever the families decide, mazel tov to all. If people end up travelling to Monsey please tell them to avoid driving on the Palisades Pkwy until the tremendous potholes have been repaired. Many cars have been damaged & I read about a woman who lost control of her car & ended up in the hospital.

lkwdmommy

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 3:04 pm

Fox wrote:

I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but I am told that it has become significantly cheaper to make chassunahs in Brooklyn/Monsey/Lakewood than virtually anyplace OOT.

Why? According to what I've been told (which means I don't personally vouch for its accuracy), the underlying reason is the implementation of takonos by various Chassidishe Rebbes. Wedding halls that wanted business from a given Chassidus had to scale back costs in observance of the takonos -- or Chassidim from that group wouldn't even consider the venue.

So how did this come to affect Lakewood or caterers/halls without a significant Chassidish clientele?

Simple economics. Let's say you live in Lakewood and discover that you can save 50 percent by making the chassunah in Brooklyn. Since it's a 90-minute drive, more or less, it's a pretty good trade-off! In order to remain competitive, Lakewood venues had to meet the prices of the Brooklyn halls.

Fox-I love your logic, but in this case it's off the mark. Takanah weddings are NOT money makers and wedding halls can only do them if they are sponsored. For years, Brooklyn and Monsey had Takanah weddings, while Lakewooders were paying full price. Then, a wonderful family stepped up to the plate and built the Neemas Hachaim hall as a Takanah venue L'iluy Nishmas their chashuva father. After that, Bais Faiga was losing all their customers (why do it in BF if you can have a beautiful wedding for the same price elsewhere) so another family dedicated the BF hall-now called Ateres Chana-in their parents' memory.

BTW, every Lakewood and Monsey resident KNOWS that the trip from Brooklyn to Monsey or Lakewood is MUCH longer than from Monsey/Lakewood to Brooklyn!!!! And we must really appreciate each time any Brooklynite makes the trip LOL

Barbara

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 3:25 pm

If the bride is from Florida, I doubt people are driving, so Monsey, or even Tarrytown (and if that's the hotel I'm thinking of, PM me) are going to be a real shlep from the airport.

So if the wedding is going to be in the NY area any way, Brooklyn is as good a place as any. Here are a few ideas:

(1) Look for hotels on Long Island, not Rockland or Westchester Counties. Closer to airports. Closer to Brooklyn. At the very worst, fly into Newark and look into hotels in New Jersey. Look in business areas, which will have conference facilities, and likely not be booked or even crowded on weekends. They may make a deal with the family.

(2) Do they really need a hotel near a shul? Can the groom's family's shul provide a portable aron and Torah, and the 15 families make their own Shabbat minyan?

(3) For transportation, rent The Party Bus. All aboard! But it should be considered part of the wedding cost, so that its split however the rest of the wedding is split.

amother

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 5:38 pm

OP here. What's the party bus? Can you explain that for me? I'm trying to help out the MOB because she knows nothing about the area. This might be something that could help. They will probably be staying M"S near JFK but need transportation to and from the hall, which will either be in BP or W'burg. Not definite yet. I suggested renting a couple of 12-15 seaters. That way all the kids will be safe in car seats. But they are open to anything at this point.

Barbara

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 5:46 pm

amother wrote:

The party bus is, well, a party bus. Its a bus rental designed for parties, that has flashing lights and music. A friend of ours did that once for a party. No clue what it costs. There are a lot of different companies that do it.

You're probably better off with limos or vans, though, because that way, people can leave at different times.

greenfire

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 7:16 pm

amother wrote:

OP here. I understand young parents with baby sitting issues. What I don't understand are the parents' friends. We're talking big time empty nesters. How is it that I can take a train from where I live 8hrs away because I don't have a car, find a place to stay overnight, take a subway and then walk to the hall and then go back to wherever I'm staying but they can't get in their cars and drive a little bit? They're driving to the hall from wherever they live in Brooklyn. That's what I don't get.

it's my big gripe with many people I know ... I drive 493 miles to get to brooklyn & then nobody can move an inch

yes more & more people are getting married in brooklyn/new york - even if chosson & kallah are both from out-of-town

monsey does sound more relaxing than brooklyn - not sure why you can't push that considering you're the kallah's side if that's what you feel you need for your family to be comfortable for both shabbos & the wedding & convenience of staying put after the long haul ... now imagine if they had to travel down to florida ...

if any buses are to be hired - I should think it would be from brooklyn to monsey for the guests who would rather not drive

busydev

Wed, Mar 12 2014, 7:43 pm

why cant they have the shabbos in tarrytown or monsey or some other place not in brooklyn that costs the right amount and has the right accomodations, while having the wedding in brooklyn. rent a few big vans or a bus or get taxis to bring the family from the hotel to the wedding hall. or have the chosson's family find more local accomodations for the wedding night and then everyone can go to the hotel or whatever for shabbos (or vice versa if its first shabbos and then the wedding)
and there def are more wedding of ooters being done in lakewood or brooklyn. there arent to many places you can get a hall, band, flowers,video and photographer for 10000 total.

zaq

Thu, Mar 13 2014, 12:12 am

OP, I have no concrete help. Like you, I am puzzled by this phenomenon that we laugh about amongst ourselves but that is absolutely true. The distance from Anywhere, USA to Brooklyn is exactly the same as from Brooklyn to Anywhere, USA, and yet the denizens of the County of Kings expect the world to come to them every time, regardless of who is footing the bill for the affair. Perhaps because they don't realize that Kings County is so named in honor of the British monarchs who held the property at the time, not in honor of the current residents.

No, but seriously, in an effort to be dlkz and not just say Brooklynites are self-centered provincial ptchetches who think the world revolves around them--it's a minset having to do with availability. If there is one shul in town and most people walk betwen a mile to two miles to get there, they take it for granted that one walks a mile or two to shul. A shul half a mile away is so convenient! If most people walk three blocks because there are umpteen shuls in town, they will consider a shul six blocks away to be way out there and much too far to walk.

Now if you live in, say, Wilkes-Barre, PA, and the nearest place where you can have a simcha of any size is three hours away, you accept that one travels at least three hours to a simcha. But if you drive more than 10 minutes to work, people feel sorry for your long commute and you cannot imagine how New Yorkers manage daily commutes of 45 to 90 minutes. So, too, in Brooklyn where there is a simcha hall every other block and many if not most people can walk to their simchas--in high heels!-- there is the perception that traveling any distance at all to a simcha is one big fat hairy imposition and way too much trouble.

amother

Thu, Mar 13 2014, 12:34 am

www.monseybus.com Monsey Tours frum bus charter company. about $750 RT brooklyn-monsey IIRC, maybe more by now, for a 55-seater coach bus with bathroom aboard, price depends on time of day, maybe time of year and how many hours the bus is staying there. They pick up where and when you tell them, drop off where and when you tell them, unless you ask for something illegal like stopping on a bridge, and they're prompt. People in NY_NJ_PA area use them all the time for simchas.

This is not an ad, I don't work for them or have any connection other than my family having hired them for several simchas in tristate area. We were very happy with the service and our guests had only good things to say.