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Forum
-> Judaism
-> Halachic Questions and Discussions
myname1
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 Tue, Mar 18 2014, 5:14 am
My grandfather was niftar last year, and my aunt and mom are working on his headstone. They don't really know Hebrew, so the burial place is doing most of it I think. They wrote ____ B"R ___ A"H. The B"R I believe is "ben reb". My sister and I were surprised it wasn't just "ben", bet nun, but we're not sure what is normally done or whether it's wrong. Neither my grandfather nor his father was frum, if that matters at all. Does anyone know? I know "bar", bet reish, is also an option. What is normal to put there?
We looked at some dedications in books, and saw things like "Avraham ben Yitzchak" and "Avraham ben R' Yitzchak", but I'm not sure if that proves anything about headstones. Thanks for any advice!
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the world's best mom
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Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:51 am
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I work in a Shule office, and the guys say Kaddish for people who have no one to say it for them. Everyone's name is automatically put down as _________ Ben Reb _______ or ________ Bar ________. I believe that is standard.
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myname1
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Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:35 am
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Okay, so I guess they use the "bet"reish" to save space- you think that's fine then?
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greenfire
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Tue, Mar 18 2014, 9:29 am
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imho - just because everybody does it doesn't mean it feels comfortable for you & your family ... the headstone should be something you and/or the deceased would have liked - not the community & not the dead people lying next to him
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someoneoutthere
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Tue, Mar 18 2014, 11:42 am
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Totally fine, and pretty common on headstones. Reb is simply a title like Mr., a honorific with no other implications
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Ruchel
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Tue, Mar 18 2014, 12:06 pm
I have not seen reb on a tombstone unless you mean rebbe, for a rebbe of some kind.
Bar or ben... I think I saw ben (almost?) always.
Source: studying tombstones for various articles
Note: in North africa some kehilot list, say, Aaron ben Sara, not ben Avraham. Ben the mom.
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