To that selfish woman at Children's Place in BP today:

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:18 pm

I saw what you did. You think nobody realized.
There were about 12 people in line, it was moving very slow, and we were all waiting impatiently, each of us rushing for different reasons.
It was 2:30 and I almost had to make my daughter bus.

In you came, you checked out the situation, and walked right up to the woman next on line, and asked her to return an item for you, so you don't have to wait through the long line.

I have no idea why she agreed to "help" you, but she was probably caught off guard from your Chutzpah.

That return took about 5 whole minutes. 5 precious minutes of All those shoppers waiting in line to pay for the past 20 minutes.

It didn't look good. Not to me, not to the other Jewish women with crying babies, not to the Israeli Couple there, and not to the Chinese woman, nor to the black woman there, all waiting to pay.

You caused a Chilul Hashem.
You are selfish.
You are dishonest.
You stole 5 minutes from each of us.

I sure hope you read Imamother, I sure hope you do.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:24 pm

these are the type of things you tell the person ... they are not mind readers - nor are they necessarily on imamother

and even if they are they won't know you mean them - because nobody tells them directly to their face

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:37 pm

was driving to pomegranate on friday and decided not to go into the turning lane into the parking lot bc it was to backed up so I went into the left lane, a frum woman coming the opposite direction decided that she was going to ignore the poles in the middle of the street and try and turn from her side....not only did she cause a backup of traffic into coney she seemed obivious to the honking until one gentleman got out of his car and banged on her window and told her to move ...I was in absolute shock

Barbara

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:38 pm

greenfire wrote:

Oh, they know. They don't care.

After waiting patiently in line at a (kosher) grocery store, a woman went to the front of the line (right in front of me). When I said something, she said "I'm double parked and have to get somewhere." Obviously, I should be penalized for actually looking for a legal parking spot. The owner took her. Then she said, "I don't have my wallet. I'll pay you another time," and left. I then turned to the owner and said, "I'll pay for this because its an emergency, but make no mistake, I will never come to your store again." And I haven't.

I've also seen people leave kids in line with grocery carts with just a couple of items, then run off and place 30 or more items in the cart while its in line. I've seen the same at stores like Target or Kohls.

OP, sorry to hear this. Hope you got some nice things, though.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 6:59 pm

once I had someone cut in front of me - think erev pesach produce store brooklyn ... and when I said excuse me she claimed she was in front of me the entire time ... I'm like sorry my mother is being checked out & she's in front of you ... really they think we're that stupid ~ gosharuni

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:07 pm

to counteract the negativity here, I'll share what I did the other day.
I was in line to pay for purim items, and it was a very long line. their were two women behind me who were discussing how late it was and how they had to get to an appt right now. finally they asked me if I minded if they went in front of me. I said ok becuase I had a lot of stuff and they had not so much.
the ladies were amazed that I said ok.
I answered that I know how it feels when you are running late. (and anyway I didnt mind a couple more minutes to think about how many bissli bags I really needed to buy.)

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:12 pm

Op here.
Greenfire: I'm not the confrontational type. I wouldn't cause a scene for such small incidents.
But I did post here to raise awareness.

It's sad. But there are all types of people in our whole wide world.

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:17 pm

I agree with you that she made a chillul hashem by cutting the line but you should have said something to her on the spot. I was in amazing savings on avenue I on one Sunday before Purim. The lines were long and a non Jew cut the line. There was a middle aged Jewish women who made such a ruckus about it and called the lady white trash and other not nice things. She said to her go back where eyou came from etc; I was too embarrassed to say something because the lady was old enough to be my mother but we need to realize that wherever we are we look like Jewish people and how we act reflects on how the world looks at us. they hate us anyway, but why add to their hatred, Behave yourself. Its not worth a few minutes waiting on line to make a chillul hashem

SplitPea

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:23 pm

I had a similar thing happen. Erev pesach at a store for a few last minute things. An israile woman pushed in front of me in line saying "I am in more hurry I go first!" I just stood there in shock.

In the moment it's hard to say something

mfb

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:25 pm

I think its also very rude when people think they can go ahead of children. I used to go to a take out to buy things erev shabbos. Almost every week there would be people who would answer they were next even though I was clearly in line before them. I guess a childs time wasn't worth much in their eyes. If I see something like that happening today I speak up even though I am usually not confrontational. I would tell an adult that child is behind me in line before you came.

naomi2

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:31 pm

I know it's annoying but whatever happened to being dan lkaf zechus!
this is a perfect opportunity for a person to think favorable of another person when they are acting unfavorably.
I understand that sometimes it's just plain rude people but we don't know when that is and so we are obligated to judge her favorably.
you can say something politely at the moment but afterwards just let it go.

Cookie Monster

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:42 pm

mfb wrote:

I could've written this one! I used to make grocery orders for my mom from when I was a young teen. They were large orders and people had no problem going ahead of me with "just one or two things." I was too timid to stick up for myself, so I just waited there till the cashier did!

Mimisinger

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:44 pm

I remember being on a line in a kosher supermarket and a woman was shopping for a couple of items and asked if she could go in front of me because she left her baby in the car! I yelled at her no! That she should go get her baby! She waited until after I was done to buy her things. I was so angry and upset. I didn't want to reward her for doing something stupid and instead she waited anyway!

yo'ma

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 8:05 pm

mfb wrote:

When a child came into my mothers store, she always made sure they were taken care of when it was their turn and not let a bigger person go before them.

I've had people go before me without asking two or three times, but since I don't know the language well, I don't speak up. If I did, I would. I once got an earful from a woman who cut in front of me because she thought I said no, but the cashier/owner said yes, so she went. She was basically cursing the religious out because she thought I said no and my face wasn't showing yes because I didn't really want to let her go. While the owner was checking her out and she was complaining, he told her repeatedly that I said she can go. She didn't hear him at all.

ValleyMom

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 8:23 pm

Erev Pesach at the kosher markets are the WORST time… nobody is civil and all derech eretz flies out the window.

One year I had my cart filled with several hundred dollars worth of groceries and I waited and waited and waited as the line at the cashier moved slowly along. Right before it was my turn a other woman says--"Can I cut in front of you I only have these seven items."

Well I was irritated!

I had already spent 20 minutes on line, patiently, I turned around and notice four people with overflowing carts behind me…

I looked at the crowd and said:

"I guess you must be a very important person to ask five people who have been standing here for a while patiently waiting to get out of the store, if it's okay with EVERYONE on the line the certain you are a very important person let's ask everyone…!"

At this point nobody would look me in the eye because I sounded a bit like a rabid lunatic.

She looked at me and walked away.

I rolled my cart forward and started putting my items on the counter.

The woman behind me muttered "thank you".

groisamomma

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 9:56 pm

Zehava wrote:

And that is why I mostly shop online for the kids.

No, that is why I open my big mouth when people cut in front of me. One day at a local amusement park the same family kept cutting the line. I finally told the mother (yes, nastily, by then my patience had run out), "Do you not teach your kids manners? They keep cutting the line and you just stand there and watch them do it!" I then blocked them from getting on until my kids were on the ride. Turns out, a week later she showed up to Back to School Night--our kids are in the same class.

Too bad. You can bet HER kid never cut mine on the lunch line.

Ladies, stop being such wimps. Being frum doesn't mean we have to take anyone's c**p. Especially from our own.

groisamomma

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:00 pm

Barbara, when that happens I deliberately move the cart out of the line. "Oh, you're not done shopping? Let's move your cart out of the way until you're done so the rest of us can check out." Only one time did someone answer me that they're done and I said, "No, you're obviously not. You're also in an Express lane and you have 19 items. I counted. So get out of the way because I WILL raise my voice." She got out of the way and the people behind me thanked me.

Supermarket manners is a pet peeve of mine.

Blue jay

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 10:06 pm

groisamomma wrote:

In this day and age, people can be very violent and aggressive. I try to avoid confrontation and do my best to shop real early in the morning (if I can) to avoid crowds of crazy people!

On the flip side, when my kids were babies, people used to let me go ahead of them on line if I was only holding one or 2 items. I also let a young couple with a baby skip ahead of me at the dmv, I quietly gave them my # and took theirs. I saved them a good hour! Pay the goodness forward!