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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Purim

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miami85

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:21 pm

I know that this will be an unpopular notion, but regarding those who complain about all the junk given out on Purim, I just have this to say:

As a kid there were things my mother didn't buy for me and I used to see the cute nosh some of my friends had and looked forward to Purim to see if my friends would include that "cool nosh". Now as a parent there are noshes that I don't feel that I want to buy for my kids (price/junk etc.) . If Purim is the one day we get a bunch of interesting nosh, that can be used for snacks for the next few weeks when I'm certainly not interested in buying new snacks--so be it, unless we're talking allergies or a diabetic, one month won't make a big difference.

Ok so my kids are still young so I'm not getting "a whole class worth" of mishloach manos, But even if there were 30 kids in my kids class--that's one-a-day until pesach. Let your kid keep a bag in the cabinet and pick one nosh a day--maybe 2 on Shabbos. Many noshes are kitniyos and not chometzdik so those are great before pesach, or save them until afterward.

If you KNOW you will be getting inundated with mishloach manos next year, starting Tu B'shvat, cut down on the nosh you buy so that come Purim you are set for the next month.

I say this because someone took the time, money, effort, and gasoline/foot power to show you that they appreciate you in their life, maybe they thought that you would appreciate that cool new nosh "from China" so your child could feel cool--perhaps it was an "oops" that it looked cooler than it tasted, but try to appreciate the thought and let your kids enjoy Purim and learn how to apportion their nosh appropriately to make good choices on their own.

mummiedearest

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 7:36 pm

I actually do save a lot of the nosh for snacks. this is the one month a year when my kids get serious nosh. and I allow them to eat all kinds of things that I normally don't. but stuff made in china is automatically in the trash. most of the nosh we get is from neighbors, and I find the atmosphere to be more about how cute everyone can make their mms than about noticing to whom they are given. I reserve the right to throw out things that are just gross. and I just had a chat with my dd today about bal tashchis and how nosh is categorized. I do make sure to let the kids learn to control their own nosh intake. and the kids are not bothered by throwing out any food made in china. we've explained to them why we do it and they're ok with it.

I think we all have a right to protest the fact that this time of year has become about one-upmanship and how much money you can put into the products. and I think that if the kids hear you complain about legitimate concerns, they understand that the way things are done is not ideal. I let them give out junk food, but at the same time I make it a point to give out real food for the family mms. I have discussed with them the purpose of mm, and I make sure they think about what should go into their packages for their friends. they know it's not a competition. if I sat there and went with the flow, they'd think that purim was all about giving out fancy candy. it's not.

groisamomma

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 8:01 pm

This year my kids traded their shehakol junk for Chuck-e-Cheese tokens. Can you believe I had to buy over 100 tokens?? It is insane how much money people waste on G-A-R-B-A-G-E in MM. It is NOT cool to eat that stuff.

amother

Tue, Mar 18 2014, 8:50 pm

I have a rule that I don't buy shabbos party from purim to Pesach so they use their junk wisely they also know that junk is not allowed during the week this is a very good system for us we've been doing it for years nie

Aylat

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 12:03 am

What's with this thing about nosh made in China? I saw someone talking about it on a different thread and I don't get what the issue is. Kashrut? Quality? Health? Slave labour?

imasoftov

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:27 am

Aylat wrote:

What's with this thing about nosh made in China? I saw someone talking about it on a different thread and I don't get what the issue is. Kashrut? Quality? Health? Slave labour?

... כל עבדי המלך ועם מדינות המלך יודעים

nechamad

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:43 am

I agree with the op. In my neighborhood people aren't trying to "one up" each other with expensive candies, but they do love to make themes to coordinate their costumes and mishloach manos. It's so cute and fun! I make the kids brush their teeth a few more times and just enjoy the holiday.

amother

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:45 am

imasoftov wrote:

... כל עבדי המלך ועם מדינות המלך יודעים

Could you be a bit less oblique? Others want to know too.

amother

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:48 am

amother wrote:

Could you be a bit less oblique? Others want to know too.

Also, how do u know when something is made in China if it happens to be loose candy or other stuff?

miami85

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:57 am

groisamomma wrote:

It may be "garbage" but you only get to be a kid once. Everyone has different tastes, so try to be grateful. Often my own kids take a bite out of a candy and realize they don't like it or they've satisfied that "itch" to try it and it becomes a non-issue. It's not worth the power struggle. Another reason which I believe someone else pointed out is that ready-made foods are usually perishable, a lot of people are SUPER busy and don't have time to cook/bake/make salads the morning of Purim, so they buy ready made things and prepare them a week or two in advance--so try to be grateful that someone took time to give it to you.

I agree, I don't like the "one upsmanship" but I do appreciate a well thought out mishloach manos. I myself do a "theme" mishloach manos, but I use it to make a point or purim torah out of it.
A practice which I have begun recently is instead of giving out a multitude of mishloach manos and driving myself crazy is I made extra poems and gave those out instead of giving the food to people whom I know wouldn't appreciate it.

amother

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 7:34 am

I don't think it's fair to say that those of us who chose not to eat and not to allow our children to eat all the junk food we receive on Purim are unappreciative of the fact that people took the time, effort and expense to send us MM. I am thankful for thoughtful friends and neighbors. But that's just not a good enough reason to put unhealthy things into our bodies. And I don't complain about it. I just give it away to those who are unconcerned about eating such things to enjoy.

amother

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 8:20 am

imasoftov wrote:

... כל עבדי המלך ועם מדינות המלך יודעים

please explain in english...

miami85

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 8:29 am

amother wrote:

Thank you, then this was not aimed at you. This is the proper attitude and manner of dealing with it.

mummiedearest

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 7:09 pm

Aylat wrote:

What's with this thing about nosh made in China? I saw someone talking about it on a different thread and I don't get what the issue is. Kashrut? Quality? Health? Slave labour?

all of the above.

oliveoil

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 7:18 pm

miami85 wrote:

even if there were 30 kids in my kids class--that's one-a-day until pesach. Let your kid keep a bag in the cabinet and pick one nosh a day--maybe 2 on Shabbos.

Getting shalach manos from 30 kids means your kid ends up with more like 150 pieces of junk and soda. No one gives just one item.

miami85

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 8:08 pm

oliveoil wrote:

Getting shalach manos from 30 kids means your kid ends up with more like 150 pieces of junk and soda. No one gives just one item.

Most kids don't have 30 kids in their class (just in Brooklyn/Lakewood) and I doubt most kids get from ALL 30 kids. 30 kids give 5 items in each mishloach manos--I have yet to see that.

Also soda is not chometz and most "junk", it can be put away until after pesach--they usually are good for a year, and used for special occasions--birthdays, chol hamoed, trips.

My point is there is SOMETHING you can usually do besides complaining about the junk

And like another poster said, taking it away or forbidding it usually leads to hoarding and bingeing. Allowing children to make healthy decisions about their eating habits leads to long term success. .
Let your child pick an assortment of items and then choose which ones can go to the food pantry/family stash

MaBelleVie

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 8:21 pm

This is a very individual parenting choice. I'm not sure why youre trying to impose your views on others.

eschaya

Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:44 pm

Every year after purim we have a nosh "sale" in which my kids are offered to sell whichever items of junk they want to me in exchange for "money". We then go to a toy store and buy something with the "money" they earned.
At the same time, I do not let them sell too much of their nosh b/c I don't want them to feel deprived.
This has been ideal for us, because it is a win-win. The kids get to eat more nosh/junk than they do all year, but they are not consuming nearly as much as they received. They also get to buy a longer-lasting toy and they feel like they got the best of both worlds.
This year, for the first time ever, I let my kids each have a can of soda. We - bishitah - do not ever have soda in the house. We call it liquid candy. But they each received a can and I davka did not want them to feel deprived. They enjoyed it, though dd said it was too sweet, and 2 out of 3 kids could not finish it in one day and had to save it for the next day!

malksters

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 6:36 am

I think there is a big difference between 'nosh' like cookies and chips and actual pure sugar candy like taffy and sucking candies etc. I kept the cookie type junk and occasionally stick it in my kids lunches as a special treat, but only let them keep a couple of their favorite candies for Shabbos and gave away the rest.

clowny

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 7:06 am

"one month won't make a big difference"

Op I'm quoting that sentence you said. For me, and I think for many others it will make a huge difference. It will make a difference in their teeth, it will make a difference in their pinworms and it will make a difference in lots of other things. The nosh that is being put into the kids mishloach munis is getting out of hand. No, I don't allow my kids to eat everything they get. Half of it is over enough. I think rather then to allow your kids to eat everything, be careful what your kids are putting in.

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