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Spinoff: Cutting in Line
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Lady Bug




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:18 am
Do you get upset when my husband and I take two different lines and merge when it's obvious which one will take quicker?
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:20 am
do you both have your own basket of stuff?
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:21 am
I've done that sometimes. I don't see why that should bother anyone. You've stood in line and waited your turn like everyone else. You just waited in 2 lines instead of one. Big deal. Can't imagine how that is rude.
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Lady Bug




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:23 am
I do it sometimes and was wondering if people mind, because people were really very possessive of their spot in line in the other thread. Vintage - we are shopping together, so usually he will hold the items and I'll stand in the next line just to hold the spot.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:23 am
Lady Bug wrote:
Do you get upset when my husband and I take two different lines and merge when it's obvious which one will take quicker?


I think its legitimate to do, but to be honest, yes, I get upset. I choose my line based on the number of people in front of me and how much they have. I may choose a longer line because two of the people waiting only have a couple of items. Then if someone joins each one in line with a cart packed to the gills, I'll be in line a lot longer. And changing lines isn't going to help me, because more and more people have come while I've been waiting.
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MiracleMama




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:25 am
Actually, I can see if you're standing in line with 1 item and then hubby rolls over with an overflowing cart that someone behind you could be mad cause they got behind you thinking you'd be quick. But we've never double lined under those conditions.
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imasoftov




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:40 am
That's borderline. So I won't say anything, I'll just hope the cash register you pick breaks down.
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Frumdoc




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:47 am
I actually think that is quite obnoxious, much ruder than just openly asking and cutting it. Maybe because it is deceiving the people who are behind you in whichever line the empty person goes in?

I'm not sure, will have to think about why this behavior upsets me whereas cutting in straightforwardly doesn't?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 10:51 am
when I do something like that I make it obvious by talking about it to the person in the other line ... so whose line is going to win ... I'll get to the register first ... nah come to my line already, etc.
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vicki




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 11:14 am
Lady Bug wrote:
Do you get upset when my husband and I take two different lines and merge when it's obvious which one will take quicker?

That is not nice. It is misrepresenting your checkout.
There cannot be moving around once you've "chosen" a line - unless you go to the end of the line.
People choose lanes that they think will move them as quickly as possible out the door.
If you go from 25 items to 50 I might have chosen a different line.
Definitely not appropriate.
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maze




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 12:33 pm
One line like at the Post Office or bank where you go to the next available worker would solve all problems even though it's not practical.
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vintagebknyc




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 1:16 pm
sometimes cutting the line is necessary--and I try to do it as frequently as possible and without seeming rude.

true story: was running insanely late for my mom's b'day party and it was my job to pick up the cake. went to baker, long line. (note: small bakery). I very loudly said "hi, I need to cut in line because I'm late for my mom's b'day party. I'm really sorry." Everyone smiled, cashier motioned me over, and I VERY LOUDLY told her that everyone online would get a free coffee from me, and I left a $10 for it.

there are ways to cut a line, and there are ways to cut a line.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 1:17 pm
maze wrote:
One line like at the Post Office or bank where you go to the next available worker would solve all problems even though it's not practical.
why is it not practical?
Ive seen this at the dollar store in brooklyn at ave Z. Ive seen it at tjmaxx, kohls, and other stores that I dont remember
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 1:43 pm
Actually, there are very specific halachos about "cutting in line." I would strongly recommend you read Rabbi Dovid Castle's sefer, To Live Among Friends.

For example, it is an aveira to allow someone to go ahead of you in line when there are others behind you -- unless you have their unqualified permission to do so. It is also not allowed to make people in line feel pressured to do something they ordinarily wouldn't do.

So it's not just a matter of good manners; many of the potential aveiros are more serious than kashrus issues that people are very makpid in observing.

Obviously, there are always cases of extenuating circumstances. But assuming that you can pull such shenanigans to save time simply because you're nice about it or ask people? And posting a ringer in a separate line? I can't imagine that passing muster.

The following is not intended to any poster in particular, but it is incredibly disturbing to me to realize that so many people in general and so many of our schools spend oodles of time teaching and reviewing halachos of Shabbos and kashrus -- including many, many that are d'rabbonin -- while at the same time giving such short shrift to the halachos bein adam l'chavero -- many of which are d'orisa.

My teenagers often come home with some ridiculous commercial scheme that just happens to work to their benefit (and, of course, the store owner doesn't care at all!). My DH looks up from whatever he's doing and usually says, "Great idea! Grab a ham sandwich while you're out, too." They roll their eyes, but thankfully usually give up whatever idea is making the rounds.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 2:12 pm
In the USSR, where lines were ubiquitous, mothers would put their small kids in line to hold a place. Or husbands and wives would trade off. When you have to wait for three hours for sugar....
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 2:23 pm
Quote:
sometimes cutting the line is necessary--and I try to do it as frequently as possible and without seeming rude.

true story: was running insanely late for my mom's b'day party and it was my job to pick up the cake. went to baker, long line. (note: small bakery). I very loudly said "hi, I need to cut in line because I'm late for my mom's b'day party. I'm really sorry." Everyone smiled, cashier motioned me over, and I VERY LOUDLY told her that everyone online would get a free coffee from me, and I left a $10 for it.


You being late for a party does not make it "necessary" to cut the line. How do you know other people waiting also aren't late for things? You could have gotten to the store early. A failure to plan on your part does not entitle you to cut the line.

The free coffee was a nice gesture, though.


Last edited by ElTam on Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 2:26 pm
OP, it depends how cute your husband is and how friendly he is... Rolling Eyes Rolling Eyes
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Fox




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 5:39 pm
sequoia wrote:
In the USSR, where lines were ubiquitous, mothers would put their small kids in line to hold a place. Or husbands and wives would trade off. When you have to wait for three hours for sugar....


This is going back a long, long way, but one of the most poignant film scenes, IMHO, was in 1984's Moscow on the Hudson with Robin Williams. Williams starred as a Russian musician who'd defected and was adjusting to life in NY. One of his first tasks was navigating the supermarket, so he politely asked a clerk, in broken English, to point out "the line for coffee."

Of course, the clerk didn't quite understand, but caught the word "coffee," and sent him to the coffee aisle, where he was so overcome by the multitude of varieties -- and the lack of a line -- that he fainted in shock.

That scene seemed to me at the time to capture the diminished expectations that accompanied life in the USSR while simultaneously evoking the constant overstimulation we're faced with in a consumerist society.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 5:53 pm
vintagebknyc wrote:
sometimes cutting the line is necessary--and I try to do it as frequently as possible and without seeming rude.

true story: was running insanely late for my mom's b'day party and it was my job to pick up the cake. went to baker, long line. (note: small bakery). I very loudly said "hi, I need to cut in line because I'm late for my mom's b'day party. I'm really sorry." Everyone smiled, cashier motioned me over, and I VERY LOUDLY told her that everyone online would get a free coffee from me, and I left a $10 for it.

there are ways to cut a line, and there are ways to cut a line.


Why do you do it as "frequently" as possible?

Anyway, I think I was in the bakery that day. I thought that I left myself enough time to get the cupcakes for my niece's 3d birthday party, but I had car problems, so I was cutting it close. They needed to be there early so she could enjoy one with her Abba before a 6-month army deployment. The extra 5 minutes it took to help you, unfortunately, meant that he had to leave before cupcakes. She cried bitterly. But, hey, you left 10 bucks for cr@ppy coffee, so it was OK. Hope your mom enjoyed her cake.
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invisiblecircus




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Mar 19 2014, 6:06 pm
OP, no it would not bother me.

I am more bothered by people cutting in when it is clear they have no real reason to do so. For example, I was recently at a supermarket and had 5 items to pay for. I had already waited longer than anticipated because the person in front of me had forgotten to weigh some of their fruit and vegetables so the cashier had to leave the desk and do it. Just as it was my turn to put my items on the conveyor belt, someone who was clearly not rushing sauntered up and said "I'll go first, I only have two items."

That was annoying because 1) I had already waited a while, 2) I only had 5 items myself so was clearly not going to take much time to get through the checkout and 3) they person TOLD me that they were going first. Once they had their items on the belt, they asked the CASHIER if it was OK.

Another time at the same supermarket, I was headed to the checkout with 2 bottles of milk. Someone saw me heading there and sent their child to get in line in front of me. They then joined the child with their overflowing cart. They would not let me cut in front.

Even more annoying in some ways was the time I was waiting for my 20 week pregnancy scan and the hospital were running 2 hours behind schedule. A nurse had been out several times to explain that there was a delay. The person with the appointment at 10.30 was complaining that she was still waiting at 10.45, while the person with the 9am appointment still hadn't gone in.

Eventually, it was my turn but the nurse came out and said she was seeing someone else first because she had to get to work. Well, guess what? So did I! I just wasn't complaining about it because we had already been told there was an unavoidable delay and that was the situation. When I explained that I was also extremely late and needed to be seen asap, the nurse just said that she had agreed to see this other lady first now.
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