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Interesting Article by Leah Vincent



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booboo24




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 8:49 pm
http://www.thedailybeast.com/a......html
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cookiecutter




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 9:22 pm
I don't know how objective I am on this, but I have soured on Leah Vincent. I initially saw her as a bearer of more intelligent critique of the frum community, but everything I've seen of her is thoroughly self-indulgent. She cannot seem to conceive of any perspective outside her own. But recognizing and engaging opposing perspectives is necessary for intelligent critique.
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booboo24




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 9:47 pm
I guess the nice part was she basically did it for her husband
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esther09




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:16 pm
It didn't sit well with me.

First, an African elopement does not seem to be the logical answer to their dilemma. But also - wouldn't you feel like a fraud, having an orthodox wedding when you are nothing like that IRL? I feel like it's making a mockery of the sanctity of the Orthodox Jewish ceremony. It just feels like her getting married that way sort of cheapens it.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:25 pm
esther09 wrote:
It didn't sit well with me.

First, an African elopement does not seem to be the logical answer to their dilemma. But also - wouldn't you feel like a fraud, having an orthodox wedding when you are nothing like that IRL? I feel like it's making a mockery of the sanctity of the Orthodox Jewish ceremony. It just feels like her getting married that way sort of cheapens it.

They wanted a wedding in Africa, so they made themselves a wedding in Africa. What's logical or illogical about that?

I actually thought it was nice of them to try and include the families like that. Those of us who are somewhat different than the families we grew up in, especially if that family is Ultra-Orthodox, can appreciate the effort involved in making them feel comfortable.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:27 pm
Is her husband a former chassid?
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:30 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
Is her husband a former chassid?

No. They Are a boro park family.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:35 pm
amother wrote:
No. They Are a boro park family.
The picture in the article is a photo stock picture of a very very chassidish wedding. What type was her husband's family?
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:37 pm
amother wrote:
The picture in the article is a photo stock picture of a very very chassidish wedding. What type was her husband's family?


That pic is not her wedding.
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Hashem_Yaazor




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:55 pm
I think this is fiction. Am I wrong? Unless I'm confusing her with someone else...
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 10:59 pm
amother wrote:
That pic is not her wedding.
Well someone definitely wanted to give that impression
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Ima_Shelli




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 11:08 pm
I know plenty of people who grew up in Otthodox families (much more 'to the Left' than the families referenced in the article, but Orthodox none the less), who are no longer religious but who've had Orthodox weddings- complete with pre-wedding mikva and all- despite everyone involved being well aware that the couple had been intimate before and that the chances of the bride ever going to mikva again were pretty slim. I can think of two specific cases exactly like that (one a close fsmily friend, one a close relative). I don't think they're fooling anyone, but it's nice to have a proper chuppah and kiddushin regardless of what goes on before or after. (The only downside I can think of is that if such a marriage were to dissolve it would require a get, which opens up a whole can of worms that would not be opened had the couples involved gotten married in civil court or a secular ceremony. But that's a whole nother topic.)
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 11:25 pm
Ima_Shelli wrote:
I know plenty of people who grew up in Otthodox families (much more 'to the Left' than the families referenced in the article, but Orthodox none the less), who are no longer religious but who've had Orthodox weddings- complete with pre-wedding mikva and all- despite everyone involved being well aware that the couple had been intimate before and that the chances of the bride ever going to mikva again were pretty slim. I can think of two specific cases exactly like that (one a close fsmily friend, one a close relative). I don't think they're fooling anyone, but it's nice to have a proper chuppah and kiddushin regardless of what goes on before or after. (The only downside I can think of is that if such a marriage were to dissolve it would require a get, which opens up a whole can of worms that would not be opened had the couples involved gotten married in civil court or a secular ceremony. But that's a whole nother topic.)
Isn't this a serious concern, specifically if the woman later has children with another man?
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haleyaskins




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 11:29 pm
Thank you for posting this. I must admit, I was so excited to read Leah Vincent's book, but found it to be a complete disappointment. It was a chain of awful choices and a family who offered no support. The ending was brief and did not offer much insight into her life beyond the bad choices.

That said, this article provided the redeeming ending that was so lacking in the book. I am so pleased that her relationship with Zeke is meaningful--unlike any of the relationships highlighted in the book. Likewise, I am pleased that she had a wedding her parents approved of. Not so much because she needs their approval, but simply because I believe it will give her a sense of peace of mind and enable her to move on.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Mar 22 2014, 11:39 pm
I haven't read the book but am surprised that her relationship with her husband isn't discussed in the book. It would serve as the foil to all the bad relationships with men she had all along. I would be interested in insight, not just narrative.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 23 2014, 12:07 am
I believe her husband didnt want to be discussed/mentiond in the book. We dont even know her real name. Vincent was the name of a non Jewish man she was married to briefly, I believe.
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