finding a live-in nanny! (prefer israeli but open 2 a/t!)

amother

Wed, Mar 26 2014, 3:23 pm

I am BE"H graduating medical school next month and Ill be starting residency thereafter, and my husband and I have come to the conclusion that its also time to graduate- from a day time nanny, to a live- in nanny- which we will absolutely need given my new work hours!! We do have the space (and would be able to offer someone a completely private lockable bedroom and bathroom in our basement) - its just a matter of finding the right person- because this means essentially inviting someone to become a part of our family.

for that reason (since this is inviting someone into our home 24/7!) we prefer someone Jewish- perhaps an israeli girl who has just finished the army or sherut leumi and is looking to come to the US for a year or two? We are pretty open-minded and religious observance is not an issue- as long as they are comfortable with abiding by our "rules" such as no eating non-kosher food in the house, etc. And yes, thank you, we are aware of the Halachic ramifications (with regard to Yichud, etc) and will deal with all of them accordingly!!

does anyone know where we could find anyone who is interested? I dont want to post my name and info on this website-because that would mean "outing" my username- but if anyone has any ideas or ways to help Id really love to talk to you via email or phone!! let me know!!!
thank you everyone!!

amother

Wed, Mar 26 2014, 4:20 pm

My experience with Israeli/jewish live in nanny's has not been good. They aren't interested in working long hours or cleaning. Better to get a carribian or other ethnicity that it is acceptable in their culture to be a nanny and it's expected to work long hours and clean. What Jewish mother (israelis are Jews too) wants their daughter to be a live in nanny. Better to go into retail.

Sanguine

Wed, Mar 26 2014, 5:01 pm

amother wrote:

I agree

Quote:

perhaps an israeli girl who has just finished the army or sherut leumi and is looking to come to the US for a year or two

Israeli kids want to come to America to make money and have fun. Does the job end at 5:00 so they can go out every night? An Israeli kid would be responsible and work hard but if they're stuck in your house, where's the fun? Kids here work hard to make money, but they have their own life too. A live-in has one day a week off. Philipinos are who are hired here for full time care. No Israel kid (straight out of the army or SL) is that desperate to take a job like this. People from third world countries are.

amother

Wed, Mar 26 2014, 5:39 pm

deena19k wrote:

I actually know a few israeli girls who did this. They were dying to go to America, but couldntafford it. This easway they got their ticket paid for and made money and had somewhere to stay. Op, do your kids understand and speak Hebrew?

@deena19k- yes they do- we actually live in Israel right now (I went to medical school here), and will be moving back to the US in two months. hence my desire to keep something that is very familiar for my kids (hebrew at home with our current live-out nanny, hebrew in school all day), to make their transition back to american life, a little easier.

thanks everyone! look- without sounding "racist" - I do understand that if I hire some illegal hispanic woman, I will get a much more desperate, harder working woman. Ive been there and done that. we had one and loved her!! But after living In Israel for 4 years, and having luck for about 3/4 of those years (one rocky year-but not because that particular nanny was lazy- but more because she had lots of personal issues, health issues, etc, that we all acknowledged she had to work out and it just wasnt a good fit. she actually was incredibly hard working) with israeli, jewish young women- I just feel like (and I am not pushing my feelings on anyone- just saying where I am at), if we are going to invite someone to LIVE IN OUR HOME, and totally "invade" every aspect of our privacy- be there 24/7- essentially be a "third parent" or "big sister" or however you would want to think of someone handling alot of the day to day stuff that we need help with- we would rather have it be someone who has religious values that are somewhat similar to ours (somewhat=doesnt have to be religious - just has to be understanding). wed rather "host" or "invite" a Jewish girl into our home, than a non-jewish one. and trust me- we are not super yeshivish or anything- it just is more of a feeling for us. IDK. just exploring the opiton Smile

SplitPea

Wed, Mar 26 2014, 5:51 pm

Dh looked into this at one point. An au pair might be an option if your hours are not too much for them. We found several agencies with kosher and a few religious girls.

One thing to remember getting a "girl" as opposed to a woman is a risk. A "girl" wants a life and might not be okay with crazy hours. Even live ins often have hours and off time they are not available to you 24/7 (unless you pay WELL)

Other options is you specifically want someone Jewish is a Russian older woman.

I know the language is important to you but it's going to be hard. Try advertising while you are THERE in Israel in papers Etc and see if you can find someone.

Sanguine

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:00 am

hila wrote:

If you p your details I can put it on our local email list. You really need an Israeli with an American pssport so it will be legal, and you can pay SS for her.

There are lots like that in my town.

Really? Lots that want such a job or lots with American passports. We have lots with American passports too but I can't imagine a single one taking such a job. Maybe I don't understand what a nanny job is. I thought it's like a mother's job without any of the benefits - No husband to share with, you don't have friends in the community, you can't call a babysitter and go out, you can't put the toddler in daycare..., can you make playdates?

Does a nanny cook and clean too? Are the kids out all day? When and where do nannies make friends of their own? (all the other nannies speak Spanish).

RachelEve14

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:54 am

Sanguine wrote:

I've had quite a few daughters of friends do similar. They are not ready to get married yet. They go away for a year or 2, all expenses paid, and save a lot of their money. Often they have relatives in teh states they visit for vacation and to see more of the country. They have a great time for a year or 2 and come back here ready to study or work or get married.

As for the hours, I'm guessing it depends on the employer but I didn't see the OP write she wants to have someone come, work for her 20 hours a day, and pay $50 a week. Nannies usually don't cook for the family, but do cook for the kids and do their laundry and straightening up. No heavy cleaning or housekeeper work.

OP I agree with what the others have said that someone with a US passport is your best bet. If you are here now, I would start posting on janglo and Hebrew U. and advertising around to interview.

B hatzlacha!

Raisin

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 7:22 am

I think you could probably find a nice girl who would want to be a nanny, and might be ok with crazy hours, but its unlikely she will be willing to do heavy cleaning, so you will have to get someone seperate for that.

To be honest any au pair/nanny is a risk...it often does not work out, no matter their nationality. I had the flakiest filipino cleaner ever. She worked hard but was so unreliable time-wise I had to let her go.

There was a sweet Israeli girl working as a nanny where I live (for a non Jewish family). She seemed very hard working but I don't think she cleaned. I wouldn't want to ask a Jewish girl who lives with us to clean my toilets.

Be really straight up about kosher/shabbos - you don't want a girl who resents not being able to cook bacon or cheeseburgers, or have music blaring all shabbos. I would specify someone who keeps some type of kosher to begin with if I were you.

RachelEve14

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 8:38 am

A nanny set up is between the 2 people who agree. I had a friend who hired a nanny when her kids were between 3 & 10. The nanny got the kids up and got them ready for school bus & brought the little one to his gan. At 12 or 1 she picked up the 3 year old and gave him lunch and put him down for a nap. When the big ones came home it was snack & homework help. The nanny did no cleaning except for the kids' laundry, lunch and supper (my friend cooked and prepared it, nanny only had to pop in oven), keeping the playroom & bedrooms tidy with the kids, and the kids dishes. I think there was one night a week she worked and the other nights if she needed babysitting she asked the nanny first (and payed her extra same as any other babysitter), and only if she didn't want the work asked someone else. She paid fair wages, social security, paid vacation, took the nanny on vacation (not because she needed her, so she should enjoy the trip too), or allowed her to stay in the house for free or do her own traveling. And as fair as she was to the nanny, she told me it was still 1/2 to 3/4 the price of daycare / after school care for her kids! It can be a very good arrangement with the right family.

heidi

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 8:53 am

I live in a very American Israeli community. Lots of girls who are children of immigrants to Israel (or immigrants themselves!) do this. Good girls fluent in Hebrew and English. Since I don't have a clue who you are I would be happy to post an ad on our community list for you. I guess you could give references to whomever responds. PM me with the wording if you'd like and I'll forward it.

Kugglegirl

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 1:00 pm

I had Israeli nannys through Au Pair in America. http://www.aupairinamerica.com/ We were able to look at thier profiles & interview them by phone before deciding who would be best for our home.

Both the au pairs we had were modern orthadox & had done sherut l'ami.

The agency is very good, since they take care of the girls travel arrangements, visas & health insurance.

we had to make sure they were able to drive safely, though one girl really never was safe enough to drive, even after we helped pay for some lessons.

I bought the girls some basic winter clothes & a heavy coat, since our climate is much colder than where they lived.

They can work up to 45 hrs per week & need to have a private room.

One of the girls was younger, 19 & it was more like having a teenager. THe other was 23 & was very helpful & always professional when appropriate.

It's been many years now & both the girls have gone on to get married & have families of their own now.