What are your monthly expenses?

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 10:19 am

I was also wondering about tuition-how it seems to be so low for people. I live in NJ and to be charged around 10,000 a child is normal. Kindergarden after all the extra fees comes out to over 7,000! Yes people get scholarships but is everyone here getting scholarships? Also in terms of the vouchers someone mentioned- does that mean you pay no tuition at all?

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 10:41 am

Me+DH+DD living OOT.

We make $4,800 monthly after taxes and maaser.

Here are what our monthly expenses look like:

Mortgage $1,500
Babysitting $1,000
Electric $225 (depends on season)
Gas $225 (depends on season)
Water $75
Internet+phone $60
Life Insurance $300 (both of us)
Car Payments $300
Auto Insurance $70
Auto Gas $150
Medical Bills and Insurance Expenses $300-400 (on average)
Groceries $1000
401K- IDK I have to ask DH
Roth IRA $100

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 10:45 am

amother wrote:

I'm actually shocked at how little tuition/babysitting people pay, unless they are listing it as per child.

We live OOT in an affordable but not dirt cheap community. 2 adults, a toddler and baby

Our monthly expenses:
Mortgage: $1250
Car payment: $250
Car insurance: $100
Utilities: average $200
Food and toiletries/paper goods + diapers, formula etc.: $1,200
Childcare: $1300
Student Loans: $550
Cell Phones: $60

Our take home pay varies because my husband receives commission in addition to his salary, but I think it averages about $5,000 per month. Our take home pay would be a lot higher except we pay about $900 a month for health insurance and we each put 15% of our salaries into our 401ks. And we put 10% towards maaser. And we do have an automatic amount put into savings each month. So we spend about what we bring home, but we put money away automatically so we are saving without really feeling it.

So interesting- your expenses and income is very similar to mine (minus the student loans)

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 10:54 am

amother wrote:

I wrote that I pay 500 a month for 2 kids. Playgroup costs 300 a month (including extended hours becasue I work). Cheder costs us 200 (real price is 400) because DH is employed by the yeshiva, so we get that discount.
I don't live OOT.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:04 am

family of 5 - 2 parents, 3 kids.

rent - $1400
utilities - $400, including gas, electricity, house phone, cell phones and water
car - $350
insurance - $400
tuition - $600
food - $1400
paper goods and other household stuff - $300
travel expenses - $400
cleaning help - $200

total expenses around $5450

income:
dh works around the clock, literally. from when he wakes up untill midnight. he's almost never home.
Some months he earns $2000 and some months he earns $6000 or more. no average.
food stamps cover us $550 in groceries

we only twice had to borrow money but b"h now we have perfectly enough to cover our own expenses. No extra money can be piled away for too long. We still owe a loan of around $5000 but will hopefully be able to cover that iy"h.
We have an issue that people know dh earns big amounts of money so we are called "balabatish", they really think we are that rich. So the family or some friends come lots of times to beg for money. Dh never wants to say no and also can't get them to realize that we don't always have that much. So we end up giving a lot to needy people while I have to wait dh to earn something more so I can go shopping for seasonal items or new clothing. Like now as after every purim early pesach season is the hardest because we don't have an extra penny as most families. Dh gave out a lot of money on purim and now erev pesach people keep on asking for more. My ectricity bill is reaching $2000, my insurance is overdue, I can't buy new shoes and clothing for the kids and will probably wait for after yom tov. I don't get more cleaning help though erev pesach I can really use some but I don't have from where to cover it. Our house needs some important renovations but we try to push that off.... People think that if someone earns more than them they are obligated to help with thier own expenses. Why when those people see dh works that much with that much hours a day assume he's the richest?

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:10 am

Rent 1150
Electric 50-200 depending on season
Student loans 500
CC bill 2500-3500 depending...this include gas, tolls (we both travel pretty much daily),
food, internet, clothing, misc household items, currently $500/month tuition (one
more month, yay!), occasional eating out, take out (we try to cut back)
Car lease x 2 555
Car insurance 200
Malpractice 200
Health insurance 500
Current income varies but is anywhere from 8-12k month. DH is in school so we also have tuition but that is currently covered by loans. Books, uniforms etc go on credit card for now which is bh paid off monthly. We manage to put away a couple hundred to a couple thousand a month depending on how much I worked that month but it isn't for long term savings--having a baby soon so it's going towards that iyh. Hopefully soon he'll have a job so we can buy a house some day.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:17 am

amother whose husband sometimes makes $2000 and sometimes makes $6000 in a month.... you have cleaning help, and pay private school tuition AND are taking food stamps?

We NEVER make $6000 in a month and don't do food stamps.....

and if there's some months that he makes $2000 why is he working so many hours? I guess I didn't understand your post.

lfab

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:52 am

Household of 6: 2 adults, 3 children, and my husband's teenage sister who currently lives with us.

Rent: 2500
Childcare: 1650
Food: 700
Student loans: 750
Car payment: 220
Car insurance: 180
Utilities: 550 (includes electric, water, and oil heat averaged over the year)
Cell phones: 50
Gas for cars: 200
Misc. household items: (I.e. toilet paper, shampoo, diapers, etc.) 100

B"H we do not have any insurance premiums as they are covered by my employer. These are just the expenses that occur monthly (and I'm sure I forgot some of the smaller ones). This does not include things like clothing and shoes for the kids, doctor co-pays, car maintenance, and other irregular expenses. Living in NY is pretty darn expensive Sad

*sigh*

Maya

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 11:58 am

amother wrote:

People think that if someone earns more than them they are obligated to help with thier own expenses. Why when those people see dh works that much with that much hours a day assume he's the richest?

I highly doubt people base his income on how many hours he works. People don't just go begging for money from someone who works long hours. If that were the case, I think that most of us would constantly be approached for donations. There must be something in your lifestyle that is making people think that you are well off.

Also, perhaps your husband should get some help in being assertive and standing his ground if he doesn't have extra money to give away, especially if it's at your expense. Maybe his pride gets in the way?

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 12:16 pm

to the amother who husband gives away a lot- a suggestion- my husband automatically transfers maaser to a separate account- might need to be manual if it changes every month and then he gives from that account- he likes to have a little cushion there like $100 if possible in case someone needs but in general we give until it's empty and then we STOP.

There is actually halachos with regards to this- how much are you allowed to give.

My dh is generous in giving but he doesn't give to every Tom d!ck and Harry who ask us- he gives to people we know personally as opposed to meshulachim ( I get the impression though that in your case it is people you know so that doesn't help much.

He also doesn't dress "wealthy" etc... we don't scrimp if it will affect our mental health (eg. we live in a nice size house since it's important to me) but it's not over top- people who see him aren't thinking oh there goes a gvir let me ask him for money.

I have to say though that the fact that you are food stamps also leaves me scratching my head.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 12:29 pm

after taxes my income is 2600-single parent

apt. 1200
utilities 100

phone me and oldest ds 100 (he really needs it since he does some childcare for the young ones and I need to be able to reach him, no landline )

tuitions 3 kids-700 aprox, praying that it doesn't go up next year.
babysitting 450
food my community or parents help
same with clothes
I live in bklyn, rely heavily on scholarships, couldn't send my kids to yeshiva without.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 12:40 pm

amother wrote:

im amother with the food stamps you are referring.
I don't know why you are confused. because you earn less and have no food stamps doesn't mean that we don't qualify. we DON'T always earn that $6000. how about it can pass a few monthe of dh earning only that $2000? at that times we struggle. But then people also keep on coming for tzudukah and dh must say he doesn't have. But people are so dissunderstanding, they keep on begging and coming back again. and btw. I must use cleaning help because dh is never home to help. That cleaning help also helps 'me' erev succus to build the sukkah and erev pesach to bring all pesach stuff up from our basement. She holds up the closet door when I have to adjust a screw falling of the hinge... and helps me sometimes to get some items from the shop on her way to me. I have said, dh is almost never home.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 12:51 pm

Wow, now look at the difference in europe..
640 eur rent
52 eur electricity
30eur phone and internet
25 eur cellphones
130 eur playgroup
100 for school
about 400 eur for food (varies)

and propably around 200 for other purchases, babysitters, cleaning lady etc.
(family of 4 with no car yet)
I must add that our rent is quite low, we had luck.
And insurance for us is about 100 eur a year!!
So this is about 1580 let's say 1600. Our income is 3200 eur a month.

causemommysaid

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:17 pm

mortgage $1500
utilities (gas, electric,water, phone, internet) $500
daycare $1100
student loans $450
car loans $300
food $500
car insurance $200
dental and medical paid through work
life insurance not sure but maybe $50 a month for both of us since we are young.
other (household items, diapers, wipes, entertainment, clothing, random expenses etc) $500
gas $400

$5500 a month.

family of 4. living out of town.

did I forget anything?

*yes- cleaning help- $80 a month

self-actualization

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:21 pm

It seems like the posters on this thread are skewed toward having younger age children. In my neighborhood, where there are fairly competitive tuition rates, it's 1000 per child per month. So, if you have 4 children, that's 4000 before you say hello and add in mortgage, utilities, food, car, insurance, phone, etc. The estimate that I have gleaned is that in my modest neighborhood you need 10k per month to get by as a frum family when you have kids in school.

amother

Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:04 pm

pause wrote:

What's amazing to me is how much food expenses per month vary so much in similarly sized families. One family of four spends 500 (how do you do that????) and another family of three spends 1000. One family of six spends 700 and another family of five spends 1400.

I'm in the one who said we spend 1000 on food for 2 adults and a child. You're right it is a lot. We eat out a lot. The money could be saved but it makes my life easier right now so I don't feel bad.