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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Did/do you lie to your child's school about media usage?
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Do you lie about media?
Yes about TV  
 1%  [ 2 ]
Yes about hvaing internet  
 4%  [ 5 ]
Yes about having a filter  
 5%  [ 7 ]
Yes about multiple things  
 2%  [ 3 ]
No we follow all school rules  
 15%  [ 19 ]
Our school does not ask  
 47%  [ 57 ]
We "bend the truth" a little but don't lie.  
 12%  [ 15 ]
Other  
 9%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 119



amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:25 pm
I know many school directly ask about internet, computer tv etc. Its a hot topic in our house because due to my job (birth/woman's health related) we have unfiltered internet. - no filter would allow me to access the sites I needed and many of my searches were blocked. Dh does not use the computer only the tablet.

Schools directly ask about internet, filter, etc. Is it normal to outright lie? (our children also do not have computer access)
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ElTam




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:33 pm
Lots of people lie. It doesn't make it right, on numerous levels.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:38 pm
In the schools where my children go its impossible not to lie. They have a very strong zero tolerance rule to internet except for business purposes. But its not enough if I tell them why I need it for my business. Its up to them to decide if its truly necessary for my business. And since they can't know how necessary it actually is, I must lie.
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Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:39 pm
amother wrote:
I know many school directly ask about internet, computer tv etc. Its a hot topic in our house because due to my job (birth/woman's health related) we have unfiltered internet. - no filter would allow me to access the sites I needed and many of my searches were blocked. Dh does not use the computer only the tablet.

Schools directly ask about internet, filter, etc. Is it normal to outright lie? (our children also do not have computer access)


Did you ever hear about white list? You can choose what YES to allow.... That means that you can choose to allow the sites you need for your work, but still have a filter on everything else.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:43 pm
ElTam wrote:
Lots of people lie. It doesn't make it right, on numerous levels.


So what is someone who lives in a community where NO school allows what they needs Internet wise (be it professional or psychological - I know some sahms who would go off the deep end literally without amazon- reasons) not everyone can pick up and move.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:45 pm
Scrabble123 wrote:
Did you ever hear about white list? You can choose what YES to allow.... That means that you can choose to allow the sites you need for your work, but still have a filter on everything else.


That's great if you know what sites you might need. But for searching and research purposes is not good enough. We have tried a number of them. They don't allow me to do the research/ read the artics I need to to stay up on my profession.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:46 pm
amother wrote:
So what is someone who lives in a community where NO school allows what they needs Internet wise (be it professional or psychological - I know some sahms who would go off the deep end literally without amazon- reasons) not everyone can pick up and move.
Its a big problem because essentially the school is making people lie then. I am sure the schools know that some of the parents are lying. Again, that does not make it right, but I fell that the schools perpetuate this, in those communities.
Nobody should move, but why dont more parents take a stand and say something about the possible "need" for the internet.

Personally we will send our daughter to a school where we can have internet and tv, whatever we want. Most probably my daughter will eventually have to use the internet to do research for school projects.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:49 pm
So you tell them that your job requires unfiltered access. You can make your user on the computer password protected, and put a filter on the main account, which is what the kids will use. And tell them that plan.
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goodmorning




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:51 pm
What would happen if you would say that your computer is password protected and your children never use it? Are they asking if you use unfiltered internet or if your children do?

(As an aside, if you install a filter like k9 and know the password, you can override it -- so your computer is filtered for your children or others who use it but not for yourself. It's a bit annoying, but not overwhelmingly so.)
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:53 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
So you tell them that your job requires unfiltered access. You can make your user on the computer password protected, and put a filter on the main account, which is what the kids will use. And tell them that plan.
Wink

Riiiiight Silly
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:57 pm
amother wrote:
That's great if you know what sites you might need. But for searching and research purposes is not good enough. We have tried a number of them. They don't allow me to do the research/ read the artics I need to to stay up on my profession.


absolutely! How can you do research effectively if you're only allowed on some websites--Can't access research journals that way! I can't even make a list of the sites I've used for work and for other educational purposes...Fine, so you can make a list that includes your bank, your stocks/investments/your work email login page...but it's never enough.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 4:57 pm
Our school just asks that kids don't have access to computers, so we don't have to lie about that. I do know some people who gave away their computers to someone else while filling out the application, and felt better about saying "we don't have a computer in the house" because at that moment, it was true. It's probably still some sort of a lie.
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Rubber Ducky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:01 pm
amother wrote:
I know many school directly ask about internet, computer tv etc. Its a hot topic in our house because due to my job (birth/woman's health related) we have unfiltered internet. - no filter would allow me to access the sites I needed and many of my searches were blocked. Dh does not use the computer only the tablet.

Schools directly ask about internet, filter, etc. Is it normal to outright lie? (our children also do not have computer access)


Instead of a filter, consider using a buddy system like webchaver: webchaver.org.
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LiLIsraeli




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:04 pm
My son's school also just asks that kids have no access to computers or handheld devices, which we agreed to follow. DH and I both use (filtered) Internet at home for business purposes.
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:05 pm
So I guess if you had the webchaver system you, as an adult, can never look up embarrassing medical symptoms you may be having or plan a vacation--in its early stages...do you really want someone to know EVERYTHING? I can see someone having their teenagers use it--and send it to their parents account...Or what if you are googling someone.
Even when I'm doing work--as in writing (usually google docs) reports for school--and don't need a friend to know what I'm listening to on my pandora radio at the same time.
So never going to work for me.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:05 pm
amother wrote:
Wink

Riiiiight Silly


Are you op? Sorry, I guess I can't relate. My kids school doesn't ask.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:08 pm
What I did was to be honest but instead of sending the form back with my child, I mailed it directly to the principal, with the instruction that I don't give permission to pass it on to the committee. And if he has any further questions he can call me.

He called me and said to forget about it and just to not mention it to anyone else.
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manhattanmom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:13 pm
amother wrote:
What I did was to be honest but instead of sending the form back with my child, I mailed it directly to the principal, with the instruction that I don't give permission to pass it on to the committee. And if he has any further questions he can call me.

He called me and said to forget about it and just to not mention it to anyone else.


Do I even really want to know what kind of committee is involved in this?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:15 pm
OP, have you tried OpenDNS?

My dh is a very ehriliche person and he adamantly refused to lie about our internet access, saying that acceptance is in Hashem's hands. One school gave us a bit of the runaround, but accepted us, nonetheless. The other school barely made a mention of it, were satisfied that my kids don't have access.
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Maya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:21 pm
manhattanmom wrote:
Do I even really want to know what kind of committee is involved in this?

No. Trust me.
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