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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Did/do you lie to your child's school about media usage?
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Do you lie about media?
Yes about TV  
 1%  [ 2 ]
Yes about hvaing internet  
 4%  [ 5 ]
Yes about having a filter  
 5%  [ 7 ]
Yes about multiple things  
 2%  [ 3 ]
No we follow all school rules  
 15%  [ 19 ]
Our school does not ask  
 47%  [ 57 ]
We "bend the truth" a little but don't lie.  
 12%  [ 15 ]
Other  
 9%  [ 11 ]
Total Votes : 119



Scrabble123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:25 pm
I don't have kids yet, but I had to fill out this form for my friend because her children are often at my house (and the school knows about that). I told the truth.
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ectomorph




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:26 pm
My family's Rav told my parents that we cannot lie. My parents work in health and marital fields and need unfiltered internet.

Guess what, we still got into schools, and seminaries.

And the few schools that rejected us for telling the truth just ended up with kids who lied.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:29 pm
I would never use webchaver. It's nobody's business what I'm reading online. I google all kinds of things, including erectile dysfunction, marriage counseling, etc.

Our school's internet form that you have to sign is ridiculously outdated. I can honestly sign that I have no tv in my home. But meanwhile I watch all kinds of tv shows online. They're pretty clean - I like things like What Not to Wear and old Miss Marples - but still, I do watch at least an hour of tv shows a day while cleaning and making supper (NOT when the kids are home). They ask that you have a filter - well I have a filter, but ours is so pathetically basic that it's really nothing. We had a stronger filter before, but I went back to school and have to do a lot of work online, so it's not an option. The filters just aren't sophisticated enough for what we need. If you're googling a lot of things, especially medical terms, filters are a problem.

Thankfully our hanhala knows almost nothing about computers, so they haven't gotten too specific and intrusive in their demands. I would feel fairly comfortable lying if they did, b/c I'm a grownup and can make my own decisions about computer usage. I don't allow my kids to use the computer at all for now, but I expect to teach them how to use it safely when they graduate. I feel that the "official" school decisions that are made about computer usage are made by people who have no first-hand experience of the work world and although we share the same core values, we live in different worlds.
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BlueRose52




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:32 pm
Maya wrote:
I do know some people who gave away their computers to someone else while filling out the application, and felt better about saying "we don't have a computer in the house" because at that moment, it was true. It's probably still some sort of a lie.

If it works for mechiras chametz....


Last edited by BlueRose52 on Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 2:33 pm
Our school asks if we have computer, internet, filtered, etc. I don't lie, I have a computer sometimes unfiltered for work. It is password protected after 5 minutes of inactivity and my kids don't use it.

Our school required we meet with a rav and computer 'expert' about the filter\monitoring to have. I thought they were very reasonable.

I was honest that at the time I couldn't have a filter. They actually had a great idea for me, but it didn't work. Now I'm able to have a filter so problem solved.

I heard a speech from a main stream school in NY where the principal said he knows all the parents have internet so every family is required to produce proof of a filter and monitoring service (both).

Our school has also acknowledged there is no way to really protect our kids. They said any boy can mow a few lawns, go to Walmart buy a data phone with cash and then use the free internet around town with unlimited use or filtering. They can watch movies on a digital camera (wich most parents are unaware). In one boys camp the boys were selling movies on SD cards. The dirtier the move the expensive.
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morah




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:01 pm
I don't send to schools that have rules I can't or won't keep. Problem solved.
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happybeingamom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:16 pm
BlueRose52 wrote:
If it works for mechiras chametz....


This post made me laugh, but good to know that you are a machmir on this issue Wink
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:26 pm
which schools (nonchassidish) in Brooklyn ask?
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:33 pm
I didn't lie. I wrote the truth and they never called me. They gave a few normal options and I checked off mine.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:39 pm
Maya wrote:
I do know some people who gave away their computers to someone else while filling out the application, and felt better about saying "we don't have a computer in the house" because at that moment, it was true. It's probably still some sort of a lie.


That's what we did. I voted "we lie" in the poll.
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Hatemywig




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:48 pm
My sons school requested that we make sure the internet the children use is filtered and they are supervised while using it.

The main means of Parent-School communication is via email.
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MrsDash




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 3:58 pm
morah wrote:
I don't send to schools that have rules I can't or won't keep. Problem solved.


Yes
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:36 pm
The school we send DSs to doesn't ask. Actually, they assume parents have email access and send a lot of communication by email.

Watching TV shows on your computer means you have a television in your home.
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Deep




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 5:58 pm
My children's school asks us if our decision to have internet was made upon consultation with a Rav & to name the Rav. No problem being truthful- my (chassidishe) Rav regularly asks my husband to call me, while he's on the line, to book his flights for him.
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OOTforlife




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:00 pm
For those who lie:

Did you ask a shaila of your LOR whether lying is muttar? Or did you just decide on your own that it is?
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SplitPea




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:06 pm
Deep wrote:
My children's school asks us if our decision to have internet was made upon consultation with a Rav & to name the Rav. No problem being truthful- my (chassidishe) Rav regularly asks my husband to call me, while he's on the line, to book his flights for him.


To which I would answer no. It is none of my rabbi's business if I have Internet or not. I hate how rabbis are turning into nannies!!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:14 pm
We wrote the truth. I think, that because a lot of people wrote that they have the internet they couldn't expel half of the students. They did call my husband down for a meeting about a certain filter they wanted us to have. My husband said that, that specific filter wouldn't work for him. They told him they still have to discuss it with him but never got back to him.
We wrote that we both have lap tops and only use it when the kids are in bed and that we have OpenDNS.
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eschaya




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 6:25 pm
B"h we send to a school that doesn't ask! Our kids learn how to use computers (and flash drives and internet and typing) at school. Our weekly erev Shabbos newsletter is sent out via email to prevent paper wastage, unless you davka tell them that you want a paper copy.
I love OOT!!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 7:15 pm
Quote:
I don't send to schools that have rules I can't or won't keep. Problem solved.

If only life were so simple! We have 3 schools in my city, 2 of which aren't a good fit for our family. One is MO, which isn't our hashkafa. One is a day school with a huge spectrum of families, which in some ways is good, but means that about 70% of the kids are immersed in pop culture (tv, movies, music, unfiltered internet), and I don't want that for my kids.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Mar 27 2014, 7:22 pm
amother wrote:
Quote:
I don't send to schools that have rules I can't or won't keep. Problem solved.

If only life were so simple! We have 3 schools in my city, 2 of which aren't a good fit for our family. One is MO, which isn't our hashkafa. One is a day school with a huge spectrum of families, which in some ways is good, but means that about 70% of the kids are immersed in pop culture (tv, movies, music, unfiltered internet), and I don't want that for my kids.


And the third school doesn't allow internet? If you have a computer, and lied on the application, isn't it unfair to the parents who don't want that for their kids?
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