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My son asked me what his "balls" are for
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:23 am
My nine year old very inquisitive son took me by surprise last night when he got out of the shower he asked me "mommy when do I have balls/testicles?" I have always tried to teach my kids the proper names for their body parts. He went on to tell me he knows he has a benis so he can go to the bathroom but why the other stuff. I don't think he is ready for a zex talk and I was not prepared for the question so I simply said I don't know why do we have any of our body parts, they all serve some purpose even if we don't know why. Do you think I should have given a better answer? Should I bring up the subject again to clarify? Of I say they make sperm there's gonna be a whole lot more questions.
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SplitPea




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:31 am
amother wrote:
My nine year old very inquisitive son took me by surprise last night when he got out of the shower he asked me "mommy when do I have balls/testicles?" I have always tried to teach my kids the proper names for their body parts. He went on to tell me he knows he has a benis so he can go to the bathroom but why the other stuff. I don't think he is ready for a zex talk and I was not prepared for the question so I simply said I don't know why do we have any of our body parts, they all serve some purpose even if we don't know why. Do you think I should have given a better answer? Should I bring up the subject again to clarify? Of I say they make sperm there's gonna be a whole lot more questions.


You answer him directly in an age appropriate way. Saying I don't know is dumb! This is a talk his father should have rather than his mother but he is at the age where he SHOULD have the talk about spilling seed etc. the testes make the seed. Easy answer.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:32 am
You can say that they make the hormones that help his muscles and bones grow. It isn't untrue.
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anotherima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:34 am
Maybe you can get an age appropriate book to explain things to him. Or you can partially answer him that it produces male hormones to make him grow into a man.
Better for him to ask you questions and learn the truth.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:35 am
"dumb"? wow.

Anyway, 9 year old and zera levatala speech? wow again. I still have to hear about a mechanech saying to do it so young.
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SplitPea




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:37 am
Ruchel wrote:
"dumb"? wow.

Anyway, 9 year old and zera levatala speech? wow again. I still have to hear about a mechanech saying to do it so young.


Most boys start experimenting by 10-11. You don't wait till they start to start talking.
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octopus




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:38 am
SplitPea wrote:
You answer him directly in an age appropriate way. Saying I don't know is dumb! This is a talk his father should have rather than his mother but he is at the age where he SHOULD have the talk about spilling seed etc. the testes make the seed. Easy answer.


even rashi says I don't know sometimes. When I need to stall for some time, I say I don't know to my kids, followed by- thats a good question. I will try to look for an answer. And then I always get back to them after I have thought it through.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 8:40 am
SplitPea wrote:
Most boys start experimenting by 10-11. You don't wait till they start to start talking.


The non Jewish, secular puberty books don't mention such low ages.
I did read that many (most?) boys who do experiment, do not have zera coming out before a couple years later, like 12, 13 or more.

I agree we don't wait till it starts. But the same way I wouldn't talk of period to a 9 year old girl unless there was some specificity in her build or in the family, I wouldn't think of ZL talk at 9. Yet again, I know various countries have various puberty/period ages for various ethnicites so...
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nyer1




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 9:27 am
Ruchel wrote:
The non Jewish, secular puberty books don't mention such low ages.
I did read that many (most?) boys who do experiment, do not have zera coming out before a couple years later, like 12, 13 or more.

I agree we don't wait till it starts. But the same way I wouldn't talk of period to a 9 year old girl unless there was some specificity in her build or in the family, I wouldn't think of ZL talk at 9. Yet again, I know various countries have various puberty/period ages for various ethnicites so...


for the record, in public school, health starts in 5th and 6th grade because that IS when puberty starts. they don't talk about contraceptives and intercourse at that age, but they DO talk about body changes etc. 10-11 is THE age to have these discussions, but better for a son to talk to the father and girls to talk to the mother.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 10:00 am
nyer1 wrote:
for the record, in public school, health starts in 5th and 6th grade because that IS when puberty starts. they don't talk about contraceptives and intercourse at that age, but they DO talk about body changes etc. 10-11 is THE age to have these discussions, but better for a son to talk to the father and girls to talk to the mother.


Yet again, all cultural. There are other countries with other growth charts and norms. I went to public school btw Smile
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 11:36 am
So far you only use your eiver for one reason, going to the bathroom. There is another kind of liquid that can come out of your eiver too, that you need to have children. That liquid is made and stored in the beitzim ("balls").

He probably won't need more details.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 11:38 am
In this generation everything is starting earlier.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 11:40 am
I would probably say that they are there to help you have kids iy"h when you will get married. zehu. I don't see any reason for any more detailed explanations. Kids are sometimes quite ok with pat answers.
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rosehill




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 12:39 pm
You could also have asked him what he knows. It's possible he heard other boys talking, and that's why he asked you. Once you know what he already knows (or thinks he knows), you can better formulate what you want to tell him.
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 2:34 pm
Thanks for all your responses. I guess my response was because I was "dumbfounded" but I don't think it was dumb. I think I'm going to wait and if he brings it up again I will ask him what he has heard if anything and then based on his response go from there. At a minimum I will tell him that is where his hormones are that kick in at puberty and help him become a man???
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 2:49 pm
I agree saying you don't know is really not helpful ... or truthful for that matter

simple answers are best ... there is sperm in there that helps make babies for when you're married so you can be a tatty / daddy
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 2:55 pm
Greenfire my concern with that response is that he is going to ask how sperm get out of his testicles and into the mothers belly. I am not ready to go there yet. If I do say this then is it fair to say, I will tell you more when you are older? He is the kind of kid who will not relent if I say that.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 3:01 pm
you don't even have to talk about the mother right now ... leave that part evasive - unless of course he asks you - then say through the same hole as the pee

Last edited by greenfire on Fri, Mar 28 2014, 3:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother


 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 3:03 pm
When my husband was 9 his parents asked their rav when to tell him about this topic. He said they should tell him right away and "hopefully it's not too late" (ie he hasn't heard from classmates yet).

In terms of when kids hit puberty...I have patients that have their periods as young as 8. I don't know the earliest a male patient hit puberty though.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 28 2014, 4:04 pm
amother wrote:
So far you only use your eiver for one reason, going to the bathroom. There is another kind of liquid that can come out of your eiver too, that you need to have children. That liquid is made and stored in the beitzim ("balls").

He probably won't need more details.


I really like this, especially if he hasn't heard amything from his peers yet. It's honest, direct, and not TMI. If he asks further, you can say that this is something he will learn more about later, in the right time.
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