Student called parents to bail him out

amother

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 10:37 am

I was giving an exam this morning when I caught a kid texting in the middle of the exam. This is ground for automatic failure and the kids know that. B'H it doesn't happen much, but when it does, I take the test and the device, and send the the student to the office until the period is over. This kid tried to argue, but I told him to go, and I'd listen to his side of the story after the period, as right now, I still had to keep the room quiet for the others.

Well, it turns out, though I now had his phone, he also had a tablet in his bag, so he contacted his parents while sitting in the office waiting for the assistant principal. By the time the period ended and I got to the office to talk to him, BOTH his angry parents had managed to leave work and arrive at school and get in with the principal... B'H the principal backed me up AFTER I had a chance to speak, but the fact that I came in having to defend, rather than state the incident as I saw it, made things difficult and unpleasant. BTW, the kid says he was texting his mother, not cheating. That doesn't change the fact that I had to do what I did at the time, but honestly, if he had waited to talk to me at the end of the period and I found it to be true, I'd have been willing to go with a softer consequence. Anyway, now that the parents are involved, I'm being PRESSURED to do just that (IOW, principal backs me up that there needs to be a consequence but thinks I should lighten it), and I'm just so mad right now. Mad at the kid and mad at the parents, and mad at technology and society. There was a time when such behavior would have been considered ludicrous, but now it's par for the course Exploding anger

JewishMommyNYC

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 10:52 am

What grade is the student in? Does he have a history of behaving this way? Most importantly, was this a state exam? Testing for state exams began yesterday so I'm wondering that's what this is related to. If it is a state test then I believe this student deserves the most harsh punishment. If it's a regular exam then maybe he was a little lax and got carried away. Perhaps something bad happened at home, you never know what environment these kids really leave behind when they enter school each morning, and he was checking in with mom.

As far as the parents go, they should be teaching their child a lesson at a time like this but it's very hard for any parent to stand aside and watch their child get reprimanded and fail. Maybe they are defending him in school as most parents would but I think he will be punished at home. My parents always defended me but when I got home I was absolutely punished. They just helped me outside of the house. Not saying that's the right way but I have a feeling it is typical. Any parent would fight so their child didn't automatically fail a test.

Such is life I guess. This is apparently the way they feel is best to raise their child. Try not to let their parenting or lack thereof bother you this much because it's out of your control. HUGS

amother

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 11:16 am

OP here. This is a Jewish high school, so not a state test. Honestly, he's a good kid, if a little flakey and entitled. I do believe him that he was texting his mother about something unrelated to the test, and was willing to hear him out AFTER the test; I also believe that his thought process was probably along the lines of "well, of course you can't text your classmates, but what's wrong with telling my mom band practice is gonna run late tonight?" He lacks the perspective of well, if you were a teacher and saw someone texting during a test, you unfortunately would have to assume the worst at that moment and act accordingly. You cannot take out a phone during a test and seriously expect the teacher to start running through all the DLKZ possibilities...

And there's a difference between defending your child and coming in guns-blazing assuming your kid is always right and everyone else is at fault. I'm a parent too. It stinks to hear negative things about your child, but kids mess up sometimes, even good ones, and parents have to at least acknowledge the possibility that the child may be in the wrong. I and my colleagues have dealt with this student's parents before. I am 99% sure he will NOT be getting any kind of consequence at home, and would not even if he were legitimately cheating.

octopus

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:06 pm

amother wrote:

I can't believe the principal allowed the parents into the meeting without first dealing with the whole incident first. Sounds like both parents and child need to learn a "this is how it works" when things like this happen kind of speech. It's hard to know how to act in these kinds of situations. but I think the principal should've said, "look, it was against school policy for your child to contact you with his tablet. Please wait outside until I speak to the teacher."

groisamomma

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:07 pm

I'm inclined to say Your Classroom, Your Rules. If the kids were fully aware of the rules and consequences then you are justified. Contrary to what will definitely be popular belief, I would not back down from the consequence (if the student knew the rule clearly but chose to defy it).

People say that taking a kid's cell phone is stealing and other things like that. Fact is, it is done in public school and allowed by law. You sound like a good teacher and sometimes being firm is necessary.

octopus

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:08 pm

also, it is very unpleasant to deal with parents when these kinds of things happen, but you need to be realistic of what the fallout will be. If you flunk a child- you probably will hear from the parents. you happened to hear from them sooner rather than later. but it will happen. so it's best to be mentally prepared for it. I don't think you did anything wrong in the situation.

seeker

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:21 pm

It makes no difference whether the kid was cheating or shmoozing. If the rule is (as it should be) that communications during a test result in automatic fail, then the child MUST receive exactly that consequence for his actions. No judgment, no emotion, no discussion: Action ---> consequence. You felt that texting was justified for whatever reason? Fine, it's your judgment to make, now live with the result. Period.

amother

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:25 pm

octopus wrote:

Oh, I fully expect to hear from parents when a test is flunked (whether legitimately or due to this sort of incident). However, had they gotten the call from the principal an hour later, after he had a chance to talk to both me and the student, and go by those facts, it would have been a very different situation, one where my own cool head will prevail (even if the parents' cooler heads do not). To walk into the office ready to find parents who LEFT THEIR WORKPLACES to come in and demand their child suffer no consequence, well, that's just overkill.

seeker

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:28 pm

amother wrote:

Darn right it is, and all it means is that the parents need the lesson as much as the kid. Glad your principal is on your side, some principals get very defensive when parents come in... SIGH.

naturalmom5

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 12:37 pm

As always Jews are behind the times and then they complain when it comes back to bite them

Most public schools and catholic schools I know as well as universities during exams have rooms with something that blocks the signal for phones and devices
They also check your bags and pockets before major exams

We need to be cognizant that we aren't living in 1865 Hungary or bare the consequences

octopus

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 3:02 pm

amother wrote:

oh, I agree with you! 100%!

greenfire

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 3:27 pm

any regular high school kid would know better ... but it's a good excuse to say he texted his mom - especially cause they came running in for the beat down ... it really does reflect of his parents as well

I would have checked his phone to see whom exactly he was texting ... qualifying everybody wanting leniency for the test grade

still there should be a penalty just as there is in court ... contempt of classroom rules ... pay such & such fine ... [& now I'm imagining bart simpson after school writing over & over "I must not ________" on the blackboard]

allthingsblue

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 5:05 pm

Ruchel wrote:

Block signals? go through your stuff? Maybe in America.... shock

Yes... in America, we need those sort of precautions, because unfortunately, the concept of cheating is prevalent.
I think blocked signals are a great idea... checking bags, not so much.

But to the op- that is certainly frustrating! I don't think you should let the student off. Maybe talk with the principal about it to explain your position.
Another idea is to offer a retake test, in which he is supervised and may not have his phone, with automatically docking 10 or 20 points.

groisamomma

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 5:57 pm

DrMom wrote:

Yeah, that sounded over the top to me too.

A "no cell phones in school" policy, like scrltfr said, is much simpler.

Most elementary and middle schools have a no-phones-on-during-school-hours policy. Schools today don't block signals--that is made up. Most have iPads or laptops that rely on wireless service, especially now with computer-based testing. Blocking signals would be behind the times.

naturalmom there are laws about rifling through the students' belongings, even during a test. Teachers are NEVER allowed to go through the student's phone to see who he was texting. Making blanket statements about blocking signals and checking bags is silly.