being invited out-do you offer to make something?

MMCH

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:05 pm

when your invited out, do you offer your friend /the hostess to make or bring something?

and if you do, do they accept your offer?

just wondering

ROFL

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:06 pm

Yes I always offer and most of the time they say ok , but sometimes I just bring my shining personality

momX4

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:07 pm

If its just a couple coming for a meal bring a bottle of wine.
If you are going for shabbos, or going with kids offer something specific, like a salad or dessert. I always accept any offer.

out-of-towner

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:31 pm

If it's someone whom I know for sure will eat in my house (like a fellow Kollel family or relative), I offer to bring something, usually I offer to bring a specific thing, because if I ask "can I bring anything," it will be refused. I have brought desserts, sides, and veggies to various different people. If we are going to an older family or to a Rabbi family I usually just bring a bottle of wine.

If I have someone over whom I trust their Kashrus and offer to bring something, I do not refuse.

Lady Godiva

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:40 pm

I always offer to make a dish or a dessert. If the hostess says it's not necessary, I bring a bottle of wine, usually with a dessert or a salad or dip. I hate going anywhere empty-handed.

mille

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 9:58 pm

I always offer, I'd say about 50% of the time people accept. If they say bring nothing, I bring wine.

agreer

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 10:08 pm

Scrabble123 wrote:

I usually bring a gift instead.

THIS.

If someone is inviting you for a meal, I'm pretty sure that part of their goal is to impress you with their food.

I always bring a bottle of wine or a plate of candy.

Rutabaga

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 10:50 pm

In my neighborhood it's very accepted for guests to make something for the meal. However, there's an annoying ritual that you have to go through before you are assigned your dish. It goes something like this:

Guest: Thank you so much for the invitation. What can I make/bring?
Hostess: Oh, just bring yourselves.
Guest: No, really, what can I make?
Hostess: What would you like to make?
Guest: Whatever would make your life easier - salad, dessert, kugel...?
Hostess: Well, in that case, please bring [insert dish that hostess was planning on requesting to begin with].

groovy1224

Wed, Apr 02 2014, 11:08 pm

I always offer, but I like to offer something specific to make it easier on the hostess to accept. Instead of a vage "Can I bring something?" I'll ask "Can I bring a dessert? Or maybe bring a salad or a side?" This way she's choosing from options, and she's more likely to say yes.
People usually accept, I find. But not always. If they don't I'll bring wine.

November

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 2:04 am

agreer wrote:

THIS.

If someone is inviting you for a meal, I'm pretty sure that part of their goal is to impress you with their food.

I always bring a bottle of wine or a plate of candy.

I am less about impressing and more about getting to spend time together and get to know people better. So unless I don't like the way someone cooks, I'll accept an offer to bring a dish. Especially a yummy dessert. Very Happy

etky

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 3:52 am

groovy1224 wrote:

That's exactly what I do. Sometimes though instead of wine I'll bring a small hostess gift, especially if it's a special holiday meal.

imasoftov

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 4:21 am

MMCH wrote:

when your invited out, do you offer your friend /the hostess to make or bring something?

and if you do, do they accept your offer?

just wondering

yes, almost always yes

amother

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 6:07 am

I wouldn't offer to make anything for anyone in dh's very frum family. It makes me sad but I know they would squirm if I brought something. Even if I offered to follow all pertinent chimros. Whenever there's a large family get together, we are instructed which food to purchase and the brands are specified. I, and certainly my kitchen, will never be kosher enough in their eyes. Sigh.

amother

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 6:51 am

we have hevy allergies in our family. I fell teeriblewhen pple bring food without informing me and I have to say I am so o oooo soorry we cannot use it because of our allergies. always ask hostess beforehand is a good idea.

anotherima

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 7:56 am

amother wrote:

So in this situation you can bring flowers.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Apr 03 2014, 8:24 am

I dont know, but where I live (and growing up too) when you are invited for a meal, its just that. Nobody expects anything to be brought. I have been invited to families with other families as well, meaning mre than one guest family. Nobody has every brought things. And no, we never expect people to bring either.