Troubling Thread | Imamother

amother

Fri, Apr 04 2014, 9:47 am

Am I the only one that feels uncomfortable about the appropriateness of the thread "Binah's Feature Article"? It's a somewhat parallel, and follow-up thread to the one about gender segregation, possibly leading to crushes - but it goes much further. On the one hand, I was tempted to report it, but question whether I am being too judgmental, and whether it may be a good thing that more light is being shown on what sometimes goes on in seminaries. Although the argument (justification) is made that a female on female relationship before marriage is an acceptable outlet for needy girls who crave affection, I think it is very unhealthy. Some have written that it is a better alternative to the possibility of the neediness leading to a hetero relationship, but I think it's one unhealthy choice replacing another.
Both choices can lead to bad consequences. I feel for those needy girls who so crave affection, and wish I had better solutions for them - ideally supportive counseling. But what is going on, as brought to light by the thread "Binah's Feature Article" is very troubling.

amother

Fri, Apr 04 2014, 10:36 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

I'm actually glad I read that thread. I had no idea just how dysfunctional those relationships are, and I appreciate having that awareness.

OP here. I definitely agree with that aspect for keeping the thread. I am MO, and fairly open minded, and aware of things that can go on, and am not shocked that such relationships exist; but I do find it concerning. Maybe this is a heads-up for parents, educators, dorm counselors, innocent and naive girls to be wary, and not let things get out of hand.

PinkFridge

Fri, Apr 04 2014, 10:50 am

Oh yeah, where's the "my jaw dropped" emoticon? But considering how many other things we have outlets for here, I think this is just as appropriate. It definitely raised awareness for those of us who had not such experience, personal or observing others.

Zehava

Fri, Apr 04 2014, 10:54 am

So if the phenomenon is troubling the thread needs to be deleted? Really? How's that for sweeping things under the rug? I posted under my username what I went through is real.

Chayalle

Fri, Apr 04 2014, 10:59 am

When I was reading the article, the parent perspective was going thru my head. Specifically, what a teen might go thru when her needs have not been met.

First they move to a foreign country where the school does not meet her needs.....so she is shipped back to the US to attend school, and the home situation (living far from her family, with older grandparents) does not meet her needs.

Teens are not adults yet....they need parenting, they need a school that is a good fit for them, they need support. Lacking these basic needs, an unhealthy relationship developing is almost inevitable.