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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
Beyla
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 Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:28 am
Does your dh buy you a yom tov gift?
If yes what kind of gift?
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amother
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:39 am
No, and he doesn't buy me flowers either, and he bought me a useful but not romantic or expensive birthday gift...
BUT, I am happy because he takes such good care of me, and he cleaned the house for Pesach (I should really buy a gift for him!!!) and the reason why he doesn't buy gifts is because we are just starting out and we don't have much money, but I know that G-d willing when things get better and he and I start working, he would love to buy gifts.
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Happy18
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:42 am
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If you count him saying go buy yourself something then yes. Him actually going and buying me something has never happened, well once he came with me. It's usually a new outfit for yuntif,
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flowerpower
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:44 am
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Nopes but I don't need anything. I take care of myself- get whatever I need to feel like a mentch.
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STMommy
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:56 am
I buy myself new yuntif clothes and show them to DH and thank him for buying them for me 
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mandr
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:56 am
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I'm only married about 2 years so we didn't have that many yomim tovim but I got nice weekday jewelry for some yomim tovim, once I got perfume, once a set of crystal candlesticks, a jewelry box, etc. I usually give him a homemade gift like a photobook or photo calendar.
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seeker
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:59 am
He encourages me to buy something for myself. I think he would buy me a gift but he has learned by now that I am the finicky sort who would be likely not to love what he picked out and then regret that he spent too much money (because he would...) on something I don't love. So instead he sees to it that I get something usually without buying it himself.
The kind of gift depends on whether I need or want something. Sometimes it's a $5 piece of costume jewelry, sometimes an expensive pair of shoes. We are not in the income bracket to think about expensive jewelry but for yomtov we make an effort to get at least a little something nice. Sometimes if I don't need anything in particular I'll be "yotzei" with the idea that having something nice and new for the kids makes the mother happy (it does, to an extent, and they ALWAYS need something!)
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amother
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:02 am
I buy him one almost every yom tov, but he doesn't buy me one. 
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Zus
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:04 am
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Yes, according to halacha he's supposed to get me clothes or jewelry before every holiday. He always tells me to buy something.
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MaBelleVie
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:04 am
Sometimes... More likely when we're spending it with his family lol.
He always tells me he has $x put aside for me to buy myself new clothing.
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black and white
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:07 am
I buy new clothes and thank him so much for being able to.
(I think such threads are an invitation for major shalom bayis problems and making comparisons that are truly unhealthy imho.)
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watergirl
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:13 am
| black and white wrote: | I buy new clothes and thank him so much for being able to.
(I think such threads are an invitation for major shalom bayis problems and making comparisons that are truly unhealthy imho.) |  ditto.
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Zus
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:17 am
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I also buy myself something and then thank DH for the nice present when I wear it on YT
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amother
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:17 am
| black and white wrote: | I buy new clothes and thank him so much for being able to.
(I think such threads are an invitation for major shalom bayis problems and making comparisons that are truly unhealthy imho.) |
Agreed
Everyone's marriage is different. Some husbands are very helpful around the house and some will only give gifts and plenty of in between situations!
Everyone should just remember that husband's are not mind readers and if there is something that would make you happy and is within your budget then go ahead and HINT!!!! You'll be happy and so will your husband be happy to have a happy wife! (Better than getting something you hate and don't need or nothing at all)
Hint examples:
"In case u ever need some gift ideas..."
- there's a really nice cookbook that just came out...
- my robe is really very tired looking...
- I love the way roses look on a yom tov table...
- my watch is all scratched up
Good luck!
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yo'ma
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:19 am
He doesn't buy me anything and if he did, I would think it would be weird. I never heard of a yom tov gift until imamother. I can get whatever I want whenever I want, if able to of course  .
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Zus
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:26 am
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Some general advice: if you want something, say it. Don't HINT. That does not work with guys.
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Sherri
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:42 am
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Is there a specific reason for this thread, OP? What information are you seeking?
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gumgum
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:46 am
we bought eachother gifts for every yon tov when we first got married. but that lasted only about 2 years.
now we have alot more expenses and dont feel the need to get eachother so many presents a year.
we do birhtdya and anniversary presents and thats it
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amother
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Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:48 am
We have this problem all the time at just about every occasion!
DH would love to buy me something but I cant think of anything to get!
I have plenty of clothes BH, I dont often wear jewelry so wouldnt want more right now, I like my perfume and dont want a new one, I have stunning silk flowers and dont appreciate real ones, my wigs are still BH in great condition, I get recipes online and dont want a cookbook, I have a camera, dont want more kitchen gadgets that I anyway have no space for...
He keeps asking what he can buy and I literally cant think of anything!
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