New home, new habits

Jewishmofm

Mon, May 05 2014, 8:38 pm

Okay. So we've lived for 6 years in a home I can only describe as a dump. It's not our home, and the landlord is not in a position (nor does he want) to fix it up much. As much as I was happy to live in this area, and be part of the life we're living I have hated my house. So much, that I've neglected it and let my kids mistreat it. (yeah, we do have a rule not to eat out of the kitchen, but I'm not so strict. we have no playroom, so toys go EVERYWHERE, and I just live with it. . . ) We're moving soon, new house is a normal house with normal landlord. I'm nervous about the kids doing things like coloring on or climbing up the walls like they do here.
How can I build new habits for the new house before we get there? or should I just wait and hope the newness lends itself to new behavior?
Also, the new home has a playroom and backyard, but is very far from schools, so long day at school plus long commute, plus short recesses: how do I ensure we're active enough not to "need" to climb the walls?

Jewishmofm

Tue, May 06 2014, 1:32 am

zaq - yes. BUT - I don't want them climbing the walls. (Something my kids do in the most literal sense in this home.) I'm happy for them to play in the playroom in a more typical fashion. With toys, games, puzzles, etc. NOT by jumping off the furniture, painting the carpet, or leaving footprints on the doorposts. All examples of things we've done here - things which, while definitely not allowing, I may not have been careful enough to avoid or energetic enough in my response because, well, the walls are holey already and the floor is well, literally duct taped together in places, so who cares?
I'm really davening that the backyard will be our saving grace - a place to run, jump and climb where nothing can be damaged by it.

mom in france

Tue, May 06 2014, 3:13 am

Personally I laid down the rules before we moved. I tell them that Its a nice house & we want to keep it that way so we can be proud when pple come visit & not embarrased coz its messed up!
So no eating upstairs for example( if I do see them going up with food I insist on them coming back downstairs with it).no riding bikes indoors ( my boys have tried that Confused

)etc . its not easy insisting on keeping it clean but part of educating your kids I guess...

mom in france

Tue, May 06 2014, 3:20 am

Op about painting the carpet (or could be coloring on wall)since the kids were little my dh insists on felts , paints etc being kept high up and only taken down for supervised use, it usually works. Although I have found felts in the bedrooms which I immediatly put away when I find. And if they do color somewhere they shouldnt or if u say they leave marks on ur furniture we give them wipes or whatever to clean up. ( although I know that sometimes it is not something that can really be cleaned up properly I make them do it anyway so they learn responsibilty for their actions)
Eda: we also live far from school. They like to ride their bikes a bit in the garden when they come home to let go of that energy

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, May 06 2014, 10:05 am

My take? Let them do more or less whatever they want in the playroom.

I have three little boys. We intentionally have couches in the playroom that they're allowed to climb on, jump on, whatever. We also got some old furniture from neighbors and family that they can stack together, make an obstacle course with, etc. We have no pictures on the wall, lights flush with the ceiling -- the playroom is as kid-proof as possible. They can climb the walls if they want to -- as long as it's in the playroom.

In the rest of the house, couches are for sitting on, furniture is left alone, ball-throwing is not allowed. In the playroom, you can do whatever you want.

We moved into this house from a similar situation a couple of years ago, and that was our rule. It worked well. The kids DO have energy that they need to get out, and it's not always nice enough outside to let it out there (nor do I always have the time to supervise them outside). The playroom is wonderful. As long as no one is getting hurt and nothing too dangerous is happening, they are free to do pretty much what they want.

(P.S. You may want to consider investing an a mini trampoline, an exercise ball, or similar toys if you have very energetic kids. Better they use safe toys to get out their energy than your living room couch.)

kollel wife

Tue, May 06 2014, 10:17 am

I'm not going to specific as to what to allow or not in which rooms. That's up to you to decide.

But they will take with them the excitement of a new place. For example we painted our living room/dining room - a very large room, by ourselves. It's easy to say. Don't do that, we want our walls to look nice. You can definitely instill a pride in your home. It's not easy. It's constant work.

My kids love to move couches (in the playroom), tables etc, to set up different games, playing school or whatever they're doing. But they know that type of thing they ask me first. Is is ok to move the playroom couch, we'll clean up all the xxx that we were playing with.