in laws judgmental of son with autism spectrum disorder

amother

Wed, May 21 2014, 7:25 pm

my 6 year son has asd, not severe, he will be mainstreamed this year, BH we have gotten all the help we can. I recently found out that my sil and mil had a conversation about my son where they stated that "I was blowing my son's situation out of proportion and that he's normal and why does he need all these therapists" this really upset me, because we have been dealing with this for 5 years. they live out of town and see him 4 times a year, I tried explaining to them that he is a bit delayed he needs extra help, hence all the therapy. my sil took it a step further and said that "chaine just has all the therapy because its free" its actually not free we pay a few hundred dollars a month for insurance, which only covers some of the cost. Do I really have to tell them all the difficulties that we have gone through? the temper tantrums? the stubbornness? why cant they just accept it how it is and not make nasty comments about it.

Ilana Tamar

Wed, May 21 2014, 7:42 pm

So sorry for you! It's so hard to feel misunderstood. They are undermining you and making you sound like "it's all in your head". That is soooo unfair! Especially since you are doing all you can to get your son the help he needs.

Good for you! You sound like a responsible parent who is doing the right thing. They have no right to make you feel this way.
Hug

amother

Wed, May 21 2014, 7:43 pm

I have a very similar sounding child to you, he's four now, and we've also been putting tremendous efforts into his therapies etc.

It's really tough when it comes to the parents, especially the in-laws.
My fear has always been that as soon as my mil would hear the word autism, she would start to be judgmental in the other direction, getting upset with him for being the "problem granchild" ch"v.

Even thought you feel judged, and unappreciated for the efforts and decisions you've made for your son, I think that the conversation they had is actually a complement to you.

Look how much you've given him!! Your family doesn't even recognize the issues, and that's a good thing for him. Sure they may be in denial, or think you're being hysterical, but it also means that they're not judging your son, just seeing him as a regular kid, and that means that your work has payed off. Good for you!!

My mil was also upset when I gave my other child PT, I think she was embarrassed that her grandchild needed therapy. By the time we got to this one, she was more able to accept it.