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Bedtime Logistics



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amother


 

Post Wed, May 21 2014, 9:00 pm
I have two kids sleeping in the same room. The older one, Kid A, is a normal kid whom you put iinto bed and falls asleep at some point while listening to a tape. He needs his sleep. If he doesn't get his full night's sleep, he is cranky.

The younger one (a 3 year old), Kid B, is a normal kid whom you put into bed and talks to himself, needs a drink, needs me to remove his pamper because he needs to use the bathroom, calls me to change his pamper because he already made in it, does not want to listen to a tape and then is thirsty again. If he doesn't get his full night's sleep, he is ok.

We live in a two-bedroom apartment. In the past, whenever Kid B would get into one of these moods, I'd send Kid A to sleep in my bed. I dealt with Kid B usually by ignoring and Kid A slept nicely in my bed until I went to sleep. Then I transfered him into his bed and all was well.

Now, however, for various reasons I have started using my bedroom once the kids are in bed and before they are asleep. Basically my room is now off limits. Every night both kids are in bed by 7:00. Kid B keeps up his antics until about 9:00 and keeps Kid A up. The results are bad. Kid A cannot handle the lack of sleep. Because I know how important it is for him and I feel bad for him, I do not deal with Kid B calmly. I find myself yelling and threatening to smack him just to shut him up already!!! I need a different tactic ASAP.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 21 2014, 10:31 pm
Can kid A go to sleep in the living room?
Can your bedroom activities be done in the living room or kitchen?
Can kid B be trained to go to the bathroom himself, or at least leave the room quietly to request your help?
My 3-year-old has a large sippy cup full of water to bring to sleep, and no longer needs to request drinks after being put in.
Can kid A listen to his tape with headphones so kid B doesn't mind? Or can kid B just deal with it for a few minutes because that's all it takes for kid A to fall asleep anyway?
Is kid A a deep sleeper? (because you mentioned being able to move him from your bed easily) Maybe you can wait until he's fully asleep before starting to put kid B to sleep, and then maybe he'll sleep through the shtick.
You mentioned doing things alone between when your kids are in bed and when they fall asleep. Perhaps you might need to adjust your expectations there. I find that that's a time when I need to be present or else things don't go so well. AFTER the kids are asleep is when I get to do real intense things, and before bedtime if/when they're playing nicely is when I can do this-n-that. But bedtime itself I consider kid time.

Just brainstorming here...
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bigbird




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 21 2014, 10:33 pm
Keep kid B up a bit later while A settles down. He may actually end up falling asleep faster because of the later bedtime (as you say, he can get by on less sleep, in fact he may need less! Putting him to bed before he's ready can result in having a hard time falling asleep)
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BA




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 21 2014, 10:40 pm
sounds like kid B is being put to bed too early. is he still napping?
if he really is up in his bed every night for 2 hours, that sounds like it is too early a bedtime for him.

I agree on putting kid A in first, letting him fall asleep and then putting kid B in

and kol hakavod to you for recognizing the problem and trying to do something about it!
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amother


 

Post Thu, May 22 2014, 7:03 pm
This is the op.
seeker, there were some good ideas in your post. I need to start thinking out of the box. Kid B sleeps in a crib. If I put him into the living/dining room, he'd need to sleep on the floor, on a mattress. There's no room for a crib there.

I also like the headphones idea.

And of course we tried the sippy cup. He drinks up the whole thing right away as if it's a bottle to put himself to sleep and once it's done, he's thirsty again!
Training him to go to the bathroom will not happen so fast. I need a NOW solution.
And my bedroom activities cannot take place elsewhere so that's not an option either.

Kid A is NOT a deep sleeper. He would not sleep through the ruckus that woould happen when I put in Kid B later once he's asleep. In fact, he would wake up, and that's waaaay worse than his not falling asleep immediately... So bigbird and BA, thanks for that suggestion but it's a no-go. Kid B does not nap.

It seems like there's a switch in his brain that as soon as it's bedtime, the switch to protest turns on. Regardless of what time it is. I'd love to be able to turn that switch off. Because he IS tired, it's just that he gets into the not-letting-himself-fall-asleep mode until I don't shake him up with yelling or threats of a smack (or even an actual smack, unfortunately when I'm at wits end).
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 15 2014, 8:27 pm
OP HERE.
Just came back to say that we put Kid A into the dining room for a couple of weeks and that signifiantly reduced the issues. We trained Kid B to go to the bathroom. Now they're back together again and so far so good.

thanks everyone for all your suggestions!
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