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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
Not sending to a neighbor?



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amother


 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 1:46 pm
My next door neighbor just started out as a metapelet and for many reasons I really do not trust that she would be good fit for my child. It happens to be that I am looking for a metapelet b/c my current one is moving and she knows that I am looking and has knocked on my door asking me if I would be interested in signing up for her.
How would you say no without offending?
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heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 1:50 pm
Oooh, that's a tricky one. Any chance of thanks so much, but I prefer to keep business separate from friendship?
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myself




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 2:01 pm
How about I prefer a babysitter that's close to work?
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rachel91




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 2:10 pm
It will be hard to answer anything without dissappointing your neighbor.

I would tell her the truth more or less, that you'd rather send to someone who has a good experience in the field already.

If you make something up, she will most likely sense that you made something up in order to not to send your child to her and could be more offended.

This is such a tough situation to begin with, hard to think of a good sollution.

Good luck!
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 2:21 pm
I would just smile and say something very vague like "thanks so much, I haven't decided on our plans for next year yet."
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rachel91




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 2:30 pm
MaBelleVie wrote:
I would just smile and say something very vague like "thanks so much, I haven't decided on our plans for next year yet."


But after a while the neighbor will notice that OP's child is going to a different metapelet and will be hurt.
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amother


 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 2:39 pm
It is s/o I c every day. I work on the block so looking for s/o close to work would not b a good excuse.
This neighbor is a little socially off and vague hints will have her asking me every day if I decided yet. I need to somehow get the answer across very clearly.
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amother


 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 3:22 pm
In that case, just tell her that you have other plans.
If she presses, tell her you have to go and just run off.
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amother


 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 3:29 pm
in that case I would just say as warmly and as nicely as possible that you've already taken care of it -- if she asks for details just say you can't discuss it at this time and change the subject
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Shopmiami49




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 3:32 pm
Sign up asap for someone else and tell your neighbor "so sorry, but my child is already signed up elsewhere."
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 4:14 pm
Btdt ouch. I had this same sitch and she really resented me, because she desperately needed the money. But it wasn't possible Sad
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causemommysaid




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 4:57 pm
I think the excuse of not mixing work with friends is a very good one
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busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 10:13 pm
what abt "I want dc to really be away from home during the day so signed him up elsewhere"
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worldpeace




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 10:24 pm
Tell her it wouldn't work for u cuz when the kids are playing outside ur kid might see u and want to go home with u

Talking from experience here
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 25 2014, 11:00 pm
"I'm afraid that's not an option." no explanation. repeat as necessary.
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Delores




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2014, 1:45 pm
Find an objective fact about what she offers (the size of her house, the amount of kids, the food, the hours, the days of the week etc) and say you are looking for the opposite (a larger garden, longer hours, more / less days, vegetarian meals...)
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 26 2014, 2:22 pm
I really would leave it as vague as possible. People who lacking the finer social graces will always come up with a counter-argument. In this situation, there may be no way to avoid her feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean it's your fault. If she will be hurt that you are not sending your child to her, and you have your reasons for not wanting to send your child to her, then that's that. She will either choose to be hurt or not. It's not your fault and there really isn't much, other than being kind and gentle but vague, that you can do about it.
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