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Closed adoption



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Rochel87




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 7:33 pm
Ok so my husband is a ger tzeddek who has a closed adoption when he was 2. He was born in yonkers,New York. His birth fathers name was alfassi. He was born august 3,1986. He has tryed on one occasion to open up the case , but nothing.
His adopted mother passed away a month ago and he feels like she was what kept them together. Now he feels alone and parentless. I have looked all over the internet for hospitals in the area it's too confusing. Does anyone here know any alfassi within the yonkers,New York area? I really love him and want to help him:)
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sayinghi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 7:54 pm
Contact

Vital records
Hospital
Library
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lkwdlady




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 7:58 pm
Finding his biological parents may be disappointing.

Even though he is down now, he might feel worse if he meets the parents that were not able to raise him and gave him away.

It could be that his biological parents weren't married ....it could be so many reasons why he had to be adopted. It's not always best to know ... but I can certainly understand the curiosity.

BTW - it sounds like a sefardi last name so you might want to ask among sefardim. I know there are some in Yonkers.
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Rochel87




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 8:01 pm
It is instead sfardi sounding. Reb yitzchok alfassi aka the RIF from the gemarra. Also my hub looks totally sfardi.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 9:09 pm
They were still doing closed adoptions in 1986? wow.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 02 2014, 9:11 pm
https://www.health.ny.gov/vita.....n.htm
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 4:15 am
Mama bear it's the most common way by far, in many parts of the world.
In France now we have an option to leave some info for the child when he turns 18 if the parents want. Most seem to not choose to give any info. So people don't have ANY name of parents, any info at all.

Yes, I would look into it. Maybe he's Jewish by birth... Alfassi is a very Jewish name, it's the first thing that "jumped" to my eyes reading.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 5:15 am
Mama Bear wrote:
They were still doing closed adoptions in 1986? wow.
MB, Im not sure why you think that there are not still closed adoptions now in 2014. I am sure there are.
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Mama Bear




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 6:37 am
Not really.... even if the child doenst have a relationship with the birth parents, their identities are known, becuae there is a lawyer or social services involved. You dont just hand over a baby anonymously. I still dont understand how there are no official adoption records, wasnt this done through an agency or a lawyer? The baby wasnt picked up off the street.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 6:40 am
Mama Bear wrote:
Not really.... even if the child doenst have a relationship with the birth parents, their identities are known, becuae there is a lawyer or social services involved. You dont just hand over a baby anonymously. I still dont understand how there are no official adoption records, wasnt this done through an agency or a lawyer? The baby wasnt picked up off the street.


The records are "closed", you are not allowed to see them. Unless the parent allows for some or all of it, or even leaves you a card or letter.
I THINK ouat the records would be "censored", with black sharpie thing.

I know some international adoptions also "change" the child's surname everywhere etc and nothing remains.

Lastly there is "anonymous" birth where the mother goes in hospital, does NOT give her identity, and leaves the baby behind. Sad in that case there is absolutely zero, nothing. "baby, (fe)male, born on that day at this hospital, from anon mother". Period.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 6:46 am
Rochel87 wrote:
Ok so my husband is a ger tzeddek who has a closed adoption when he was 2. He was born in yonkers,New York. His birth fathers name was alfassi. He was born august 3,1986. He has tryed on one occasion to open up the case , but nothing.
His adopted mother passed away a month ago and he feels like she was what kept them together. Now he feels alone and parentless. I have looked all over the internet for hospitals in the area it's too confusing. Does anyone here know any alfassi within the yonkers,New York area? I really love him and want to help him:)


How do you know this? Alfassi could have been his mother's name without more info. Do you have a birth certificate with other information on it? NY has two kinds of birth certificate. You can do a people search. Do you have his mother's name?
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Rochel87




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 6:53 am
My husband was on foster care till 2 when he was adopted by a Christian family who raised 5 of there own kids and then in there late 50s adopted 2 boys not biogical brothers though. My husband was told my his mother on a few occasions he was jewish maybe she told him that to calm down his intrested of yiddishkeit that started when he was 10.
My husband has extremly Semetic features and everyone in school said to him your jewish, right. He even sings like a Morracan. It's very strange!

But alfassi is also a name not only used in the jewish sfardi world but also by Arbic families.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 7:01 am
Yes. Most Jewish names not in Hebrew are also used by non Jews. And unfortunately between conversions, intermarriages... also you find non Jewish (Muslim or Xtian) Levi, Cohen Sad(
Maybe his interest in Yiddishkeit comes from being Jewish or zera Israel. Maybe not.
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grace413




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 7:32 am
Mama Bear wrote:
They were still doing closed adoptions in 1986? wow.


I adopted my DS in a closed adoption in 1994.
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 8:00 am
Mama Bear wrote:
Not really.... even if the child doenst have a relationship with the birth parents, their identities are known, becuae there is a lawyer or social services involved. You dont just hand over a baby anonymously. I still dont understand how there are no official adoption records, wasnt this done through an agency or a lawyer? The baby wasnt picked up off the street.
Mama Bear, as grace said, there are most definitely still closed adoptions. I also know of one or two after grace's date.
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Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 03 2014, 12:55 pm
There are websites where people can post looking for biological parents/children. I don't know what they are, but google should help.

I think its a long-shot that he was Jewish. But you could try the synagogues in Yonkers -- Lincoln Park, Northeast Jewish Center, Temple Emanuel, Cong Sons of Israel. If his bio mom was a member, and was looking for him, they would probably have an idea.
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CPenzias




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 05 2014, 7:27 pm
You can try Troy Dunn the locater. He does this for a living. He even has a show called The Locater
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 05 2014, 8:50 pm
I guess the Rabbi's did not try to help him find out about his lineage when he converted even though his adopted mom told him he was Jewish?
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