Self entertaining ideas

Jewishmofm

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 11:16 pm

Our 11 year old DS has way too much time on his hands. Whenever he's home and doesn't have something specific to do (homework, showering, etc) he expects me to play with him or otherwise entertain him. I'm mom to 6, I am not available to be playmate every day.
I'd like to make a list he can refer to of what he can do in downtime - that does not require another person available to do it with him. Any ideas?

Kumphort

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 11:35 pm

What does he like to do? My 10 year old loves reading?
Would he like snap circuits or some other more sophisticated building toy?
Would he shoot hoops with a basket ball?

Would you let him use a computer learn how to type? Maybe word processing ? Research sports etc

zaq

Thu, Jun 12 2014, 11:35 pm

That would depend on what kind of kid he is. Is it safe to assume he's not much of a reader? because IME kids who are readers will read anything that doesn't move and many things that do, so they require no "entertainment".

Maybe he'd like books that teach skills like tying knots or making 3-D objects out of paper.

Or you could try the classic mother's trick for dealing with a kid who is bored: Assign him a household chore, and see how fast he manages to find something else to do!

Jewishmofm

Fri, Jun 13 2014, 1:20 am

Thanks for all the replies! Keep those ideas coming!

He's a voracious reader. He's got a thing against reading books over, and we cannot keep up with his demand for new material. (I won't give him anything I haven't read, and though I read quickly too, I do have a life . . .) It's times like this - when he doesn't have anything new to read that he needs something else to do.
I do give him chores on occasion, but he's pretty blunt on that point. "I'm bored means I want to have fun, not do work." Uh, yeah, me too.
I'm not big on computers for kids in general. When they are off of school I have a few programs that they can use at certain times of day, but not just whenever they're bored.
He likes board games, but is on a way higher level than our other kids, and they cannot play together without it being a fight. If I could be referee, I could also just play with them. He used to like lego, but has gone "off" it lately. I find that goes in waves anyway.
Maybe it is time to invest in a more sophisticated lego-type toy.Yippee, more little pieces to clean up Smile

5*Mom

Fri, Jun 13 2014, 3:30 am

He's 11; he should be making this list. He's old enough that if he doesn't own this, it won't work.

Alternatively, when my kids say they are bored, I offer 3 good suggestions; they can take it or leave it but if they leave it, they have to think of something on their own and they cannot complain of boredom. Of course, you do need to make sure there is a variety of stuff available for them to choose from that is age-appropriate and that they enjoy.

zaq

Fri, Jun 13 2014, 5:37 pm

Everyone has chores to do that they don't especially enjoy, even the Queen of England. "My deah, if I do wahn moh hohspital ribbon-cahtting cerremeny I shall go flat-ahout insane!" At 11, your ds is old enough to learn this.

BTW, why can't he get together with friends from school? Lo tov heyot habachur levado. He needs a social life.

granolamom

Sun, Jun 15 2014, 7:30 am

my 10 yo ds is like that too. when he tells me he's bored I tell him he can wash dishes or say tehillim and I get the same response you get.
anyway, I gave him a corner of the backyard to cultivate as he sees fit. he now is quite proud of his 'weed garden'. he's out there whenever its not raining. he built some benches out of some bricks he found. he nailed together some fallen branches to create some sort of trellis. he moved some hostas in from another part of the yard (with my permission) and I took him to home depot with a $10 budget and he bought a bunch of seeds and a few cheap pots. he's loving it.
another fun thing, if you have the tolerance for it, I bought him the book 'Mini Weapons of Mass Destruction' and went to staples and bought him the supplies he needed for most of the projects. things like catapults and pen guns, etc.
mine also loves to organize so I let him loose in my attic or garage and he cleans it up and organizes (not usually the way I would but I guess thats the fun for him).
he likes to bake/cook so when I'm not needing my kitchen I let him do that too.

creating a list is a good idea, and I agree that he should be part of the process. ask him 'what would you like to do if you could do anything you wanted around the house' and if you're anything like me (predisposed to say 'no') bite your tongue until you've really thought out how you can make it work for him.

Jewishmofm

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 8:56 pm

Thanks for all the awesome replies!
We do chores in our home at a specific time, and your chore is your chore is your chore, even if it's a bore. It's when I offer chores for boredom that I get attitude.
There are about 2-3 boys in age range in our neighborhood, most of whom DS doesn't know as they attend different schools. The one who is in school with him doesn't really "click" - two okay kids just not for each other sort of thing. Getting to play dates where most of his classmates live is a 25 minute shlep. I'm open to doing that -but not on a school day when we get home close to 5 as it is.
I like making him own the problem and having him make a list of downtime activities, I will try that at a calm time, like not when he's decided he'd rather be bored.
He enjoys cooking and baking, but will only do it infrequently as he doesn't want the hassle of cleaning up afterwards. Yes, I insist it get cleaned up when he's done in my kitchen. Sometimes, he'll decide that that's a good price for the activity of baking, sometimes the price is too high.
Thanks again for all your input, my fellow mamas!