I feel like this is lashon hara

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Is this lashon hara?

yes

50%

[ 8 ]

50%

[ 8 ]

Total Votes : 16

amother

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:10 am

Someone in my community asked for a babysitter. I suggested a girl I know who told me last year she took a babysitting certification class. Her father is a rabbi in the community. I got an email back from this person saying someone sent them a message that "rabbis in town" have asked that families not use her as a babysitter. I also got a message from someone else (probably the person who sent the other person the message I'm guessing) saying "many of the rabbis in town" have forbidden her from babysitting children. I have heard no such thing from any rabbi in town. There were no names of the rabbis given who have done this "forbidding". There was no explanation whatsoever. I feel like this is lashon hara. Is it, is it not? Why?

5*Mom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 1:49 am

You need to do some investigating. Ask for some names of the rabbis in town" and call them up to find out if there is an issue and what it is. If this is true and there is a genuine safety concern, then no, this is not lashon hara but a mitvah to protect people. If you come up with nothing, however, I would then call "the rabbis in town" and let them know that this email is circulating, possibly ruining this girl's life.

Whatever you do, please don't ignore this.

chani8

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:03 am

Somebody may be trying to protect your children. I wouldn't take it lightly.

There is a chiyuv to share Loshen Hara L'toeles when someone is possibly in danger.

There is a chiyuv to listen to the LH L'toeles and take the necessary precautions to protect yourself and your children.

sped

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 2:57 am

There is also a chiyuv not to believe this, and only to take precautions. Anonymous "rabbis" doesn't mean anything. I do think the OP has to check it out further.

AlwaysThinking

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 3:05 am

1. Whatever you do, don't use her as a babysitter yet.

2. Find out more information.

3. Make a decision.

There's usually no smoke without fire. I'd be highly surprised if the rumours were coming from nowhere. It is 100% l'toeles, and in fact is a mitzvah to share such information. You should be dan lkaf zechus the people who shared the rumour too, you know, not just the babysitter! Who says you are allowed to assume these people are speaking loshon hara?

DrMom

Thu, Jun 19 2014, 5:19 am

amother wrote:

Can someone forward you this email so you can see who these rabbis are?
Or can you ask the person who claims to have received such an email to tell you which rabbis said this??

Such a rumor would certainly give me pause, but I'd also want to verify to make sure the sources are real and to understand their reasoning.

Miri1

Fri, Jun 20 2014, 9:58 am

I don't think the message was relayed appropriately.
Sending round anonymous emails about anonymous rabbis isn't the way to do it.
The message may be very pertinent, but the person should have called you and told you on the the phone, and given you some way to verify further.
I avoid emails like this, it's too easy to distort things when it's all anonymous, and just being forwarded. If it's that important, it needs a serious phone call.

But, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't pick up the phone and look into it. I've been warned off a babysitter before, and I didn't use her in the end. The person who called me was a friend who I trusted, who's husband had the information first hand from a respected person in her community. He didn't want his name publicized, but I trusted my friend would only relay me info from someone reliable.

Ruchel

Fri, Jun 20 2014, 12:40 pm

Whether it is or not lashon hara, I would be too scared now.

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