What exactly are the halachos of yihud

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Judaism -> Halachic Questions and Discussions

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

sequoia

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 12:15 am

I'm reading Trollope's "He Knew He Was Right" and wondering about the situation from a halachic perspective. The husband goes mad with jealousy because the wife receives a male friend and sits "closeted" with him alone behind closed doors. But it's the living room; anyone could come in at any time.

Was he right?

MaBelleVie

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 12:18 am

You mean would it be a halachic problem if a woman received a male guest and closed the door with her husband in another room? No.

sequoia

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 12:37 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

You mean would it be a halachic problem if a woman received a male guest and closed the door with her husband in another room? No.

Sometimes he was out or went out at some point, but there were other family members and servants at home.

5*Mom

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:28 am

If they would come in unannounced at any time, no, it would not be a halachic problem. If in that household a closed door meant that they would not come in, then it would. Although if her husband could arrive home unexpectedly at any moment and she knew that, also not a problem. If she knew when he would and would not return home, problem.

zaq

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:38 pm

Also depends on the guest's character. If he was known to be a man of "undependable" and "coarse" character when it comes to women, even things otherwise permitted would be forbidden.

However, inasmuch as Trollope was not writing about a Jewish family, halacha does not apply.

freidasima

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:43 pm

If she was sitting with Trollope behind closed doors its yichud and she should be put into cherem for reading such things!

sequoia

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:45 pm

freidasima wrote:

If she was sitting with Trollope behind closed doors its yichud and she should be put into cherem for reading such things!

What if Thackeray was there too?

freidasima

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:55 pm

Now that ios a serious issue as we all knpw that there is no yichud when a woman os alone with two kosher men as they will police each other. Here the two men will argue literature so much that they will ignore the woman anyhow.

zaq

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 1:57 pm

sequoia wrote:

What if Thackeray was there too?

Just as bad if not worse. The Thack could hold her down or keep a lookout while Trollope had his way with her or vice versa.

Now if her mother-in-law were with her that would be fine because no sane woman would betray her dh in the presence of her mil, who could be depended upon to tell the dh.

Look, if there were nothing "off" going on, why would the parlor door be closed? In that society at that time, closed door would practically scream "impropriety!" The only time a couple who were not immediate family would be left alone in a room with the door closed would be if the man were about to propose marriage. Even then it wouldn't have been quite proper but allowances could be made for this particular event.

Raisin

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 3:34 pm

its not yichud but I can imagine a modern frum husband getting suspicious and concerned if his wife shuts himself up with an unrelated male in the living room for a substantial amount of time.

Even if no hanky panky is going on surely they shouldn't be having such a close friendship?

I don't think rape would be a problem since she could call out and her husband or one of the servants would come running.

Surely Trollope and Thackeray lived at different times?

Freidasima, what are you talking about? all you have to do is change the names in some of the Trollope novels and they would read like a mishpacha serial. Of course, the clerical series would need a lot of changes, not sure how similar shul politics and church politics are.

sequoia

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 3:51 pm

Raisin, you are right!

There is something undeniably frummy about this novel, at any rate.

amother

Sun, Jun 22 2014, 8:20 pm

I have a male friend who comes and talks to me whenever, dh home or not. Often when dh is at shul at night, but dh always knows.
He is just a good friend. He helps me out with stuff, dh and I are good with him.

Page 1 of 1