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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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Jewishmofm

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 9:20 pm

To begin, I have wonderful children. They are loving, intelligent, friendly . . . . But they ALL think they are three years old and deserve the special leeway of "he's a baby! of course I will tell him not to grab from you, but you need to be understanding while he learns . . ." or whatever. Anything the 3 year old does, they all do. It's reaching ridiculous proportions. Today, our three year old was standing on his chair to eat dinner (yes, it's difficult for him to reach the table, yes I wink at it and look the other way.) before I knew it, our 11 year old and 5 year old were doing it too. What? Really, standing on your chair to eat? this is one example of an ongoing problem.
There must be something I can do differently!

granolamom

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 9:37 pm

the older ones might need special privileges for being older. and if you're already giving that, make sure they recognize it. and if they do, let them know that if they behave like the three year old they wont get the privileges that are reserved for older, more mature kids. then follow through and put them to bed at 6, or dont allow them to go outside without you, or whatever they are allowed to do that the 3 yo isnt.

another thought, is if you think they're doing this for attention, just ignore it and it will probably stop. because after the initial thrill, eating while standing up on your chair is really uncomfortable for an 11 yo.

imasinger

Mon, Jun 30 2014, 10:18 pm

Can you gently correct the 3 year old? At mealtimes, give him a booster or thick book to sit on, and encourage him to sit. When he does something at other times, offer him support and gently correct him.

Maybe you can invite older siblings to help you teach, and be sure to give them tons of positive reinforcement every time you see them setting a good example.

Jewishmofm

Mon, Jul 07 2014, 8:17 pm

Thank you for your support, and great ideas.
The big kids do have some privileges that I am not sure they recognize. I will try pointing it out now like "DS, you are still up at 9 because you are big." or "DD, you get to make a playdate because you are old enough to do so responsibly" etc.
I will also try ignoring them, that's advice I usually give them about the little ones. Time I listened to myself Smile

Mon, Jul 07 2014, 8:30 pm

My 3 year old knows its bad to grab and that we sit when we eat. (not to say he always does what we expect, but I do correct him when he stands up when eating!)

Do you think it's possible that you're actually babying him too much because he's the youngest?

anonymom

Mon, Jul 07 2014, 9:29 pm

When this kind of behavior would get to me I would tell the older kids they can have the 3 year old's bedtime. Or lack of some privilege or whatever. They immediately got the message.

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