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Can't believe it... cio?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:27 pm
I am adamantly against CIO... but lately my baby(10 months) has been having a hard time sleeping and staying asleep. As is he refuse to sleep in his crib and sleeps in his stroller laying down flat. We have a set bedtime routine, set nap times ect. He should be able should be able to sleep! Some nights there is no fuss and then he will wake up an hour later and refuse refuse to go to sleep fill 11oclock! He goes to sleep with a bottle of breastmilk but sometimes he will refuse the bottle. He He won't take a paci. He won't nurse to sleep. The past few nights we have gone on walks at 10 o'clock and then He would fall asleep at ll.I switched his nap to 1 long nap for 2 hours instead of 2 short naps during the day so that he is ready for bed. Tonight he went to sleep nicely but woke up with dirty diaper... tried to put him back to sleep and another dirty diaper... held him, nursed him and hugged and hugged him. Stayed In his room with him.... He kvetched even more. Probably because he wanted me to hold him... but when I picked him up he would only stop crying for a drop! Finally after an hour I couldn't anymore. Didn't want his bottle, didn't want his blankie, and even when when I was holding him he was kvetching. .. I went to my room and let him cry for 9 minutes and then he talked to himself a bit and went to sleep!!!! Did he just CIO? I feel so guilty. What about the trust vs. Mistrust stage ? Did I just tell him that mommy is not listening to you?? I feel horrible. I want him to have a secure attachment! I really tried:(Sad I'm tearing up. Please advise.
On a side note how can I help him sleep in his crib?? He is 10 months old.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:32 pm
To clarify he cried for real for 5 min then on off cry and momomomoaaa I made up in my head that after 5 min. I would would go back hoping that 5 min break would help me be be less fustrated. But But after 5 min he started to be quiet for a bit and cry for a bit and I realized if I wait maybe he will go to sleep. And he did... but I feel so horrible.
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:33 pm
I'm not going to tell you to do cio if you don't want to. But I have let my children cio and I think I can very confidently say that my children trust me. They come to me if they need anything, etc. BUT they know (or are learning, depending on the age) that when Mommy puts you into your bed at night it is sleeping time and that is not negotiable at all.

I don't think letting a baby cry teaches them that mommy doesn't care. You put them to bed a few times a day. You have the rest of the day to show them how much you care about and for them.

Good luck. No advice, because you don't want to hear mine (just let him cry!)
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:40 pm
I am also against cio in most cases, but if a baby is really not sleeping and will put himself to sleep after 5 minutes of crying, I might say it's not such a bad idea in that case.

I do understand how you feel though. It's a terrible feeling to think the baby fell asleep feeling rejected by his Mommy. I expect he will live through the experience. You might want to try it again tomorrow, just to see what happens. He may fall asleep even sooner, or he may get more hysterical now that he knows what he's in for. I would take him out if he gets hysterical.
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:43 pm
Stop with the guilt.

Is he well? Talk to the ped.

Is he too hot? Don't over dress him and get a fan. Maybe no shirt, just nappy.

Is he gaining and how are the milestones? Talk to the ped.

Is he teething?

Is he allergic to something that is annoying his gut? That he ate or that you ate?

You might purchase a rocking chair. Put him down and rock near his cot and murmur sleepily to him that you are still there, but don't touch him so much. You may be waking him up.

Hugs.
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:44 pm
I know what you feel like. I'm not a believer of letting a baby cry but sometimes that's what they need. Really! A baby needs to learn how to fall asleep on their own without assistance: rocking, bottle, holding etc. Letting them cry for a bit helps them achieve this skill. At about 6 months my baby had a hard time falling asleep and I tried some non CIO methods which didn't work well enough. Then I resorted to CIO. It killed but it worked. My baby enjoyed going to sleep after that.

The problem is that it doesn't last long. Each time baby gets sick or is figuring out a new development I have to retrain him. We're in the process of doing that right now actually. My baby just learned how to sit up from a laying position and to stand holding on to stuff so he will just stay sitting in bed no matter how many times I lay him down. Eventually he lies down. We are on the second night of CIO. Yesterday was about 7-8 minutes and tonight only 5 so we're making headway, I'd say.

In the middle of the night I do want to feed him 2 times so if he wakes up too early (less than 3.5-4 hours since last feeding) I will let him CIO. If it gets to the point where I have to go in to reassure him (after 5 minutes of crying) then I'll find his paci for him and that basically works well.

He smiles at me in the morning and loves me no less because I let him cry in the night. Babies are very forgiving. It's either this or an unhappy, overtired baby and mother.
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gp2.0




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:45 pm
the world's best mom wrote:
I am also against cio in most cases, but if a baby is really not sleeping and will put himself to sleep after 5 minutes of crying, I might say it's not such a bad idea in that case.


I agree with every word.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:49 pm
Op here. Thanks for responding!!
He wear light pajamas and has a fan in his room so it's cool. I don't think he is allergic to anything but that could be a possibility. ..
for the last 15 min. I was sitting on chair singing calmy to him.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:53 pm
Ok feeling a bit less guilty, thanks!! Any tips on how I can help him transition h
to his crib in a calm way... He hates it.
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:55 pm
does he have a teddy of some sort? My kids like to have something to hold/stay with them in bed. When my 1 year old is tired he's happy to get his teddies and runs to his crib!
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:58 pm
Blanket and paci?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 7:59 pm
Yes he has has a little lovey- it has an animal head with a a small blankie attached. But it doesn't seem to help.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:00 pm
Hates paci:(
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:00 pm
Hey my baby has one too. A monkey face with a small blanket square on the bottom. Do you nurse your baby? If yes, you can nurse him while the lovey is tucked in between you and him so he associates the lovey with comfort and you.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:03 pm
mandr wrote:
Hey my baby has one too. A monkey face with a small blanket square on the bottom. Do you nurse your baby? If yes, you can nurse him while the lovey is tucked in between you and him so he associates the lovey with comfort and you.


Cute I think they have the same blankie:) yes I nurse him with it for the reasons you said
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Dolly Welsh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:07 pm
Maybe no pajamas?

Don't sing, just be there. Mumble something if it seems necessary. He knows you're there.

Did you wash the lovey? Stick into your blouse for half an hour.

Could he be thirsty?

Change brand of paci? Use a Nuk brand one?

Is he in an uncomfortable position? Many babies like to sleep with their feet against the wall. Change him from his usual position if he is fussy, stomach, something like that.

Almost no light in the room, dim.

As for scheduling, I suppose, but except for getting to work on time later, when he owns a business, I am not sure if you can tell people when to nap, to the minute.

Hugs.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:10 pm
My opinion is that it's more comfortable for me to allow a baby to fuss if I'm in the room, and he knows it, than to leave him alone. My kids have learned to fall asleep on their own, in their cribs, while fussing with me in the room. If you know that he's tired, you can do your bedtime routine and then sit quietly where he can see you.
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acccdac




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 08 2014, 8:34 pm
what is his nap schedule like?
what time are you putting him to bed? starting bedtime routine?
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sunny90




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 09 2014, 12:41 am
All I can say is with all three of my kids I tried no-cry solutions and staying with them while they cried and pat shush and pick up put down--and guess what. Nothing worked. I let them CIO (checking in every once in a while) and they are all great sleepers. And they trust me, and are very loving and happy children.
And I am a more loving and happy mother. LOL
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Motherlee




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 09 2014, 12:49 am
This is a huge topic among me and my fellow first-timer moms.

My 5 month old cutey was driving us up a wall. Getting up countless times at night to cry, play, eat...

At 6 months old we promptly sleep-trained him using a method which incorporates the Ferber method and it worked like a charm. My little sweetheart sleeps 11 hours a night and has 2 nice naps during the day. He is 9 months old now and every few months you have to adjust the bed and nap timing, but it was a LIFESAVER.

Hugs to all the struggling moms out there. It was super-hard but very worth it.
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