Spinoff - if you don't NEED parental help

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Thu, Jul 10 2014, 10:46 pm

What do you and/or your DH do for a living?
Asking because we want to get to a place where we don't need financial support!! Would love to hear others success stories for inspiration. Being self sufficient is our dream.

TwinsMommy

Thu, Jul 10 2014, 10:54 pm

My husband is an educational aide for about $20,000 a year, no benefits. I'm in direct sales--- I'm more private about my income than we are about his because I'm self employed---- but we're not on food stamps, etc. So together we're in the too rich to qualify for help and too poor to pay for anything category. Smile

But we live in Cleveland where everything is cheap. We rent our house for about $1300 a month. On our income (more than $20,000 but less than decent) we wouldn't make it in NY.)

We have well over $100,000 in debt (most of it is student loans) from when we both made a lot more money and had a very different standard of living (in Los Angeles). We're not buying a home soon but here in Cleveland we could afford it--- perhaps in a couple of years. We're both 40 with 2 kids.

So my advice is always--- move. Smile

not so simple.

amother

Thu, Jul 10 2014, 11:30 pm

We are in our early 30s, two kids, one in school. DH is a nursing home administrator and I run a (very) small business from home. We make about $125k a year after taxes and maaser. (We pay a LOT in taxes every year, so I'm not sure of exact numbers.)

We pay full tuition and own our home. We bought it on our own, pay the mortgage on our own. Our parents very generously gave us some money so we were able to renovate without wiping out our savings.

We now have about $50k in savings. I worked and lived at home before we got married, and I was the type of kid who hoarded my money, so I had a sizable savings account, plus we got a decent amount of cash for wedding presents. DH had some bar mitzvah money and savings bonds. B"H our parents funded our wedding and helped us get set up for our lives.

How did we do it?

We are careful with our money. Not frugal, but careful. I don't have cleaning help. The kids stay home with me for as long as possible. We rarely go out to eat. We don't drive fancy cars. I shop sales for clothing for all of us. I scout out deals on big-ticket items. I use coupons when possible. I don't do all my shopping in the local grocery store; instead I've figured out which stores have the best prices on different things.

Oh, and we live in Lakewood. Big reason! Like TwinsMommy said, we wouldn't be able to make it anywhere else. The housing is cheap, the tuition is cheap, kosher food is not outrageously expensive, even the gas is cheap.

Being self-sufficient is incredible. Of course, it helps that we don't have student loans or other debt (besides our mortgage and car payments, which we always pay on time - we've never paid late fees on anything). It is possible!

SRS

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 12:17 am

It isn't so much what you do, but how you do it. You want to be movin' on up, not movin' on down because you got ahead of yourselves.

Having reliable, steady, decent paying careers and building your skills is important. But mostly how you spend and save your money is key. Stay out of debt as if your life depended on it, live frugally cutting here and there and there and here, and save regularly and persistently from as early as you can using tax advantaged savings plans and reasonably conservative philosophies.

This plan isn't exciting, but it works.

MaBelleVie

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 12:23 am

Many people who make it really big don't actually start out in reliable, steady careers. A person has to know his strengths and work with them.

SRS

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 12:53 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

Many people who make it really big don't actually start out in reliable, steady careers. A person has to know his strengths and work with them.

But you do not need to make it big to be financially independent! Smile

I agree, work with your strengths. You need to enjoy your work and be motivated to keep working because you will work for a long time to come.

amother

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 2:40 am

Quote:

Stay out of debt as if your life depended on it,

I just want to add that this was always my outlook.

Until I ended up with PPD, needed therapy, regular babysitting and reduced work hours. Oh, and air conditioning, which I'd never afforded to run but desperately needed. We borrowed money for those things for the first time in our marriage.

Sometimes, debt can save your life. It is sometimes worth it to live in the here and now than to think about the future.
Just sometimes.

amother

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 6:31 am

I'm a PA and make just over 100k. DH is a student working part time on the side making less than $20k at this point. We have about 60k in combined student loans and are currently renting. We have two leased cars because we didn't have the cash for purchase. DH will be done school in about 10 months iyh and I'm looking forward to the second income. Hopefully that will help us pay off student loans in a couple years and provide for a down payment.

saw50st8

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 7:27 am

We are both engineers.

Ruchel

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 7:51 am

It all depends how you live, if you can be frugal, if you can qualify for "social apartment"... my cleaning lady, alone with several kids and supporting some relatives (!), doesn't get parental help... and I've seen people with both of them MA being helped, either because the parents want (yes) or because they agree to help fund whatever lifestyle.

saw50st8

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 7:55 am

Ruchel wrote:

Getting subsidized rent is not making it on your own. Its being (partially) supported by the government.

Ruchel

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 8:23 am

The topic was about parents.

If you write off everyone supported by the government somehow... well the only ones I know around me are some childless or with one child above 3 year old or with grown up kids.

MaBelleVie

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:07 am

Ruchel wrote:

Ruchel

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:17 am

MaBelleVie wrote:

dimyona

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:18 am

Ruchel wrote:

That's socialist Europe for you Smile

. Won't get much love from us bootstrapping Americans.

MaBelleVie

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:29 am

Ruchel wrote:

What do you mean by supported by the government? If you're talking about benefits that are built in but are unrelated to income, ok, that's just part of the infrastructure there. But if you mean people receiving benefits because of low income, that's horrible.

Ruchel

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:31 am

It's built in.
I have no idea how many rely on it to be outside of the "low income" category. Some are also "low income", some have live ins. For sure it helps paying Jewish school... depending on the school it can cover the whole thing.

MaBelleVie

Fri, Jul 11 2014, 10:34 am

No one is talking about built in benefits that are available to all citizens. Every country has that in some form or another. Living in social apartments is a different category though, and indicates a reliance on the government that is unique from other citizens.

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