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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 10:40 am

A neighbor was over with her kids and her 5 year old innocently asked "Why do you have a bathtub if you don't have little Kinderlach?"

I laughed and told him, that one day I'll have kids and they'll use the bath.

When I repeated this story to the mother I added laughing "Even Mommies use the bathtub sometimes"....

I didn't mean to infer the obvious that we use it for the Mikvah- really. But she laughed uncomfortably and abruptly changed the topic. I'm embarrassed now, but I shouldn't be, right?

abeona

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 10:43 am

totally not, many people enjoy taking baths, its an enjoyment. its relaxing.... I sometimes even read a book while I take a bath for pure relaxation

rachel91

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 10:44 am

No, I think it's fine, a child is allowed to know that adults also bathe! LOL

Heyaaa

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 11:27 am

Why is that awkward? I wasn't feeling well last week so I took a bath. Anyway I'm not either sure why mentioning anything to do with the mikva, ever, is considered inappropriate.

Ruchel

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 11:27 am

What? this is so odd. No link between bath and mikve per se.

itssimplyme

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 11:39 am

I don't get what's inappropriate about that?

tichellady

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 11:46 am

Maybe your neighbor was awkward because she was embarrassed her child asked the question. Your answer was totally normal. I would have pointed out that plenty of adults bathe (having nothing to do with mikveh).

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 12:18 pm

Ruchel wrote:

What? this is so odd. No link between bath and mikve per se.

Exactly. There are even some adults who take baths and no showers.

busydev

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 12:19 pm

I think your neighbor was embarrassed that her child asked about your childless status.

zaq

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 4:01 pm

It may shock your friend to learn that bathtubs are installed in apartments not for the convenience of observant married jewish women, but for regular plain ordinary people who expect to be able to take a bath every so often, for reasons of personal hygiene, therapy, or just plain relaxation. Your remark was perfectly innocuous, as was the child's question.

Clearly this child believes that adults take showers and children take baths. This is, in fact, often the case, possibly because it's really hard to give your kid a shower without either getting water sprayed all over the place or getting inside the shower with the kid.

allrgymama

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 4:09 pm

Heyaaa wrote:

Anyway I'm not either sure why mentioning anything to do with the mikva, ever, is considered inappropriate.

Of course it isn't inappropriate, per as.

However, wish that I could articulate why, but I always feel uncomfortable when people bring up the Mikva. Perhaps it has to do with how it was completely out of my awareness growing up and so it still seems strange?

Perhaps there are things that aren't quite inappropriate, but aren't regular topics of conversation either, and that's why people get uncomfortable? For example, I feel awkward when people talk to me about how long they were TTC (even when not in relation to infertility) there isn't anything wrong with it, I just don't know how to respond.

allrgymama

Wed, Jul 16 2014, 4:09 pm

allrgymama wrote:

Of course it isn't inappropriate, per se

However, wish that I could articulate why, but I always feel uncomfortable when people bring up the Mikva. Perhaps it has to do with how it was completely out of my awareness growing up and so it still seems strange?

Perhaps there are things that aren't quite inappropriate, but aren't regular topics of conversation either, and that's why people get uncomfortable? For example, I feel awkward when people talk to me about how long they were TTC (even when not in relation to infertility) there isn't anything wrong with it, I just don't know how to respond.

Ruchel

Thu, Jul 17 2014, 9:03 am

My mom takes almost only bath.
My kids take almost only shower.

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