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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Israel related Inquiries & Aliyah Questions
Wanting to be there so badly



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 7:02 am
I want to make aliyah. I have had this dream for many years. Over the course of our marriage, we have discussed it many many times and tried to formulate a plan that could work for us. So far, we haven't been successful. In light of everything going on in Israel and around the world, my resolve to move has intensified. I think about it constantly. Its practically consuming my life. I told my husband my neshama is saying it can't stay in Chu"l any more. He understands, and he also wants to be there, but he is the more practical of us and does not feel like its the right move, for many reasons. (And in a lot of ways, I think he is right). So how do balance my desire to be there with my reality that it probably won't happen? And as I see the rise in anti-Semitism everywhere (and horrible crime in the city I live in), how do I accept that this is where I need to be? (One thing I keep saying is that I want to at least go there on vacation soon, but financial and practical realities make it not possible right now). Any divrei chizuk would be appreciated.
(Interestingly, a woman from my community who made aliyah a few years ago who has a blog had written about her burning desire to make aliyah. Her husband, a very respected Rabbi in the community was hesitant. He told her that when she reached the point that she could no longer tolerate living in chul, she should let him know and he would give it a try. BH they went and are very happy. I tried that line on my husband, but all I got was a smile and a "I hear you.")
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ProudMommie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 7:38 am
All I am about to say is just imho, unless otherwise stated.

Many of us have been in your shoes! Our bina yeseira ... knows what's what. The women have always loved E'Y so much and the men... well, they are more practical... Aliyah starts as you "discuss" this with your husband and he typically gives you reasons of why not...

Look, you are right, and your husband is not there yet, but... with tefilla you will help him to get there. talk to Hshem!! This is his land! It is a different dimension! You are going to the palace of the king (bezras H-shem) Ask him... Tatte please I want to be closer! I am not asking for a brand new Lexus, or a million dollars but just to be close to YOU!!! I want to come back! We are all his children coming back... Kibbutz Golius (spelling?) has to happen before the geula...

Eretz Yisroel is the safest place to be...We are not in physical golus here. The land is kadosh... Hshem is very close to us here...

Don't listen to anyone unless they tell you to be meiser nefesh and come! HKBH will help you. Do your histadlut but do not do extraordinary histadlut! Just do your best to prepare, that's all.

Talk to your husband... but daven, daven, daven...Hshem will take you out when it's time. And, get your documents ready thru nefesh b nefesh... start ... talk to them.. many people are in your shoes...

staying in chutz is a copout unless you have a temporary issue that you just cant leave... until it is resolved... etc.

ONLY here can you really get close! Here you begin to understand what emunah and bitachon is! What can I say?

You are right on target about anti-semitisim, etc... ... HKBK loves his children but you have to choose to be close... and if you do, HE will take you out... HE will... that's what he did for my family... My husband said the same practical things your husband did, and I know someone else like that...
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 22 2014, 8:50 am
OP, I know the couple you are referring to (that's why I'm anon) and they are a wonderful addition to our community.

I also spent several years in chul when I longed to be here. It is very difficult.

If your DH is not on the same page, for whatever reason, you probably have to accept that now is not the time for your to come. Sure, daven that he will change his mind, hope for a change in circumstances but remember that keeping your marriage solid comes first.
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