Invites Himself Over But Doesn't Like Veg Food

groisamomma

Wed, Jul 23 2014, 9:47 pm

OP, if you keep a parve kitchen does that mean you don't need 2 sets of dishes, sinks, etc.? (That is fascinating--I don't think I know a single frum family IRL like that.)

gittelchana

Wed, Jul 23 2014, 10:00 pm

amother wrote:

DH and I are vegetarians, and because of DH's severe allergy to dairy we do not have any dairy food in the house ever.

We have a single guy who comes over sometimes, about once every two months (he usually invites himself), who seems to enjoy our company/food but always remarks on how the food is vegetarian and there's no 'real' ice cream in a negative way. It's not playful ribbing, but 'So, is there going to be any meat in this meal?' in a completely serious way and then seems disappointed when we say 'no,' or asks why. He KNOWS we're vegetarian, and even though we don't react, it's getting annoying. It's gotten to the point that when he asks to come over, I let him know in advance that the meal will be vegetarian - any tips?

Sometimes guys, especially single guys, need to be told clearly. Otherwise they won't ever know that something is wrong with what they're doing.

amother

Wed, Jul 23 2014, 10:06 pm

oh - just ignore it. He's a single guy who just wants to feel comfortable and at home for the short time he goes to you. He's probably lonely too and obviously doesn't have a wife to cook for him. So, he's telling you what's on his mind .... not so tactful but he probably feels like he's just being a bit playful. Let it go ... who cares that he wishes you would have ice cream ....main thing is that he's comfortable when he's at your house. That's your mitzvah! He can always go out for ice cream later on. Don't let his comment(s) bother you. Older single men don't always know what /how to say ... he doesn't mean anything bad. If your lifestyle bothered him so much he wouldn't come!

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 1:01 am

OP here. The problem with these comments is that it makes me not want to have guests and I feel self conscious about my food, like it isn't good enough. It also makes my DH not want to have guests, we feel kind of defeated.

Yes, we keep a real parve kitchen. We generally don't bring food made in a meat or milk kitchen in (we live in an area w/o many restaurants, and one of the few restaurants is vegan - so it's not a big issue), and if we do then we eat it at the coffee table on paper plates don't use the microwave/oven to heat it up.

Learning

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 2:24 am

When he comes in the door announce cheerfully and playfully. Here it is again our vegetarian kitchen no meat chicken etc. the reason is that we hold believe in this and that. And give him the whole story. he won't be able to ask again during the meal.

Heyaaa

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 8:20 am

amother wrote:

I do think it's rude on his part that he comes and expects you to make an entire meal for him that you guys won't be able to eat. Men generally like meat and that's why he complains. But I'm sure you make delicious food or he wouldn't keep coming back.

vintagebknyc

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 9:48 am

amother wrote:

it sounds like all of us want to come eat your delicious food more than this guy. stop inviting him, start inviting us!