How do you know what your purpose is?

avi0903

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 11:41 am

This is something I've been wondering about lately. We all have a purpose in life. How do we know if we are fulfilling it? How do we know what it is?

I suppose as a parent/grandparent, I'm fulfilling those roles. I hope I do a good job. But otherwise, what am I doing? Professionally I don't really feel satisfied. Can a profession be a life's purpose? I suppose it can be if you are in a helping field. I go to classes, I try to do chesed.

How do you all define a "life's purpose", and do you think you are fulfilling yours?

Thanks!

avi0903

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 12:57 pm

OK, so then if I am almost always in a difficult financial situation, which mida needs perfecting? I try to not worry too much, I've taken on a second job, husband and I try to maintain good shalom bayis despite the situation. I understand that I can look at my nisyonos, but what to do with them? How do I look at them to discover my purpose?

Also, I've heard both ways: I've heard that our life's purpose is discovered by looking at our strengths and using them in a positive/proactive way. I've heard others say the opposite, look at where you are weak and perfect yourself.

I think I'm inclined to look at my strengths and use them positively, as I would think that is why Hashem gave me whatever the strength is.

But again, I'm not sure what my strength is!

seeker

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 1:33 pm

I believe that if you do your best to make good choices in any given moment, you are achieving your life's purpose. If you're talking about big defining missions like starting an organization or something like that, 1. not everyone's "life's purpose" is that type, and 2. most of them started in those little moments, not because someone was looking for a mission. I think if you put one foot in front of the other in the right direction, G-d will lead you to your purpose whether it is loud or quiet.

Interesting point about the different strengths/weaknesses perspective. I guess you can use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses!

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 2:40 pm

avi0903 wrote:

I think people confuse "life's purpose" and "self development." I think of our life's purpose as how we contribute to the world using our strengths. Someone who has a knack for medicine, for example, might either became a world famous doctor, a douala, open a burn- and wound-healing gmach like an amazing woman in Monsey (who has now trained other women to do what she does), or might simply be the go-to person in her family and neighborhood when someone is sick. It can be on a large or small scale, depending on the person's life circumstances, but all of us have something that we are passionate about or good at and can use that to make a difference. But I don't see how an introvert will be fulfilling her life's purpose by forcing herself to visit the sick, or an extroverted person with a great sense of humor by stopping to make rounds in hospitals and instead taking a boring desk job to "overcome" her aversion to spending quiet time alone. Use your strengths to serve Hashem!

Of course, there is then that other topic of overcoming weaknesses such as anger, pride, etc, as part of self development. I think this is where life challenges can clue us in sometimes, though it is very individual. Each challenge can require different work for different people. Someone can struggle financially to learn to depend on Hashem, or to learn to overcome their pride and ask for help, or to learn to accept that they're not in control.

Sometimes challenges not only inspire growth but can then lead to life's purpose, such as the man who, after being very sick, opened a Bikkur Cholim that has helped numerous people. Or the woman with a learning disability who later developed a support system for other struggling children. So the two can be linked at times, but self development and fulfilling life's purpose are not necessarily one and the same.

Lady Bug

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 4:14 pm

amother wrote:

See, I view our life's purpose as self development. More along the lines of the woman opening a Bikur Chopin - this will lead her to situations to self-develop in a way that will fulfill her life's purpose.

Another angle - all life occurences (children, marriage, jobs) are a means to self-development, rather than an end or goal in and of themselves. This is why people who never marry or have children can still accomplish their life purpose.

amother

Thu, Jul 24 2014, 11:10 pm

It is not really possible to know our purpose, however we know that G-d wants to have a relationship with us and for us to work in being the best person we can. Note that how we treat our fellow man is more important than how we treat G-d, as one can't have a relationship with G-d if they do not treat other human beings with respect and sensitivity.
Therefore, we have to strive to be a decent person and to have a relationship with Hashem.
Other things will fit around these two aims, for example your unique strengths will be utilised in some way, perhaps through your career, perhaps through motherhood, or perhaps through unique challenges you face, a talent or even a relationship with someone else and its impact on them. Similarly, your weaknesses will cone into the spotlight in order for you to work on these, as it is only through effort that we truly raise to higher levels, and truly on effort that we are rewarded. So your life purpose is really a culmination of all these things. Somehow working on your weaknesses and utilising your strengths will produce the best you. However since we don't know our purpose, it'sbest to utilise our strengths however we can, and be as close to Hashem as possible.