Really need advice...(nanny vs Gan)

debsters1101

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 9:44 am

Ok this is going to get long so bear with me because I really need third party advice...
Last year we hired a full time babysitter in our home. We pay her $400 a week. It made sense at the time bc I had a 1 yr old, and a 4 yr old who was in school 9-3 and a 6 yr old who gets off the bus at 415. I work 830-530 some days 830-4 some days and 830-3 on Friday. So the sitter took care of baby of course, plus took 4yo to/from school plus took 6 yo off bus the days I work late.
So now the baby is 2 and the 4yo is 5 and starts yeshiva in the fall so his hours will be same as older kid. And I can send baby to Gan which is $500 a month (125 a week) which is a total no brainer right?
Not really.
When I calculate the extra hours I'll be paying for baby to stay extra at Gan (I'll drop her off at 8 instead of 9 and pick her up late every day) plus I hired someone to get the two older ones off the bus twice a week (really hoping hubby will be able to do Fridays) plus I'd need (NEED) cleaning help at least every other week.... And all of a sudden I'm only saving $112 a week. Which is certainly nothing to sneeze at. But when I start thinking of the major headaches of a) getting the baby up dressed and out of the house on my schedule b) not being able to do home care anymore which brings in $180 a week (that might be able to be worked out but no guarantees) and c) having to worry about every darn erev yuntiv, chol hamoed, time in between camp and school, winter break etc etc etc... I wonder if I'm sacrificing my sanity for $112 a week.
Comments? Questions? Reactions?
(Let's leave home care out of it for now. I see how idiotic it would be to let it go. I'll have to work it out if I let the babysitter go otherwise I'll be taking a loss!!!)
Thanks for listening!!!!
Oh and long long story but no we can't share the babysitter. I mean we can but it doesn't bring the price down. Long story lol.

cookiecutter

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:07 am

debsters1101 wrote:

It sounds to me like you're thinking about it the right way. You are very clear on the benefits of each option and your question is just how much you're willing to pay for it. I absolutely agree that sending to Gan would be a huge headache because you'll be managing three other people's schedules - your drop of person and your husband and the gan. Now if one kid is sick you have to stay home from work or double the scramble. If your husband has to be somewhere on Friday morning = scramble. It would make perfect sense to get full time babysitting, but ultimately it depends how much $112 means to you.

sara_s

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:17 am

You mention that you would need cleaning help if you get rid of the babysitter- does that mean she does cleaning work too?
And what are her hours? Does she help out in the afternoon once you get home too, or does she leave as soon as you get home?
Personally I think if the babysitter is making your life much easier, and you can afford the extra 400$ a month- then go for it! As it is it's not easy to work full time and have 3 kids.
Another advantage BTW is this way your baby is getting 1:1 care instead of a group setting.

Last edited by sara_s on Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:27 am; edited 1 time in total

debsters1101

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:34 am

Oh yes. I am certaint aware and appreciative. The only niggle is that while my babysitter takes incredible care of my kids, im not her biggest fan, person wise. She doesn't take direction well at all (for example we used to pay her 340 a week and we gave her a raise saying we want her to clean. She rolled her eyes bc we are not the neatest ppl. She now cleans somewhat- which answers the other posters questions- if I get rid of her and get a cleaning lady my house would be MUCH cleaner. So now you want to know why I don't have a conversation with her about what needs to be cleaned- it's because she's not an easy person to talk to. Grrrrr. It's hard to explain). So the thought of getting rid of her is exciting and terrifying at the same time lol compounding the debate.

OneSource

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:34 am

I am in exactly the same situation right now! I work from 8:30-5:30 in NYC and commute 2 hrs per day. I get to leave my son at home in the nanny's care every morning without worrying about the morning scramble. The nanny cleans, does laundry and takes my daughter to and from school. For us, we pay a little less but it's close. My son can start a gan but I ran the numbers and it's a $120 per month savings between the additional child care between when school/gan ends and when I get home from work. All in, I decided the one on one care w/ a nanny we love is more worth it than the savings of $1,440 per year. If you can afford to pay it, I would do so. If there is a snow day, I don't need to miss work. If the school is on a break for a week (which seems to happen ALL the time) my daughter can stay home w/ the nanny and her brother. No playgroup needed! The stress saved is worth the additional expense.

Just saw your post re. her personality. We don't have this issue. Our nanny does great cleaning and is a sweet 30 year old who is very respectful and even writes food shopping lists for me. So, in our case, it's easier to commit to spend the additional money because we love her. In your case, it sounds like she's just not the right person for the job and it might be better to look for another all-in-one nanny than a gan if youre already willing to spend the money.

self-actualization

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:40 am

What are the hours for the 2 yo gan? Personally, I would push off the decision for another year, and keep the baby at home without gan for age 2. Most of my kids weren't really ready for gan at that age and were not able to fully express their needs, etc. It can actually be traumatic for a kid to be in gan all day and then come home to a college age babysitter who may not be capable either. I hear the money argument but I think that becomes more pressing when your youngest is 3.

OneSource

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 10:52 am

Perhaps a candid conversation with her might move things into a better working relationship? In my experience, when faced with the potential of losing a job, people are generally more willing to make concessions... She might need to be told that eye rolling and general attitude with you is unacceptable. You set the terms of her employment, not the other way around and it might be high time that you take the reins back from her. In the alternative, you can always send to gan. So the threat of losing her job is very realistic and you might want to approach the conversation from the perspective that she's really great with your kids BUT - some things need to change or you will have to give her notice.

mummiedearest

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 11:10 am

I would stick with the nanny option but look into hiring a different woman for the position.

preschoolers tend to get sick very often in their first year of school. this would mean that you take off of work OR scramble to find a babysitter for the day. finding an emergency babysitter is not easy, and your baby would likely be confused by the number of caregivers, especially if the baby is home for three days straight and you have to hire different people to cover those days. first year of preschool is not fun for the parents, there's very little they really learn at that age, and if you can afford a full-time babysitter, everyone's generally happier. but again, I'd look into hiring someone else for the position. and make the cleaning responsibilities clear at the interview.

SJcookie

Mon, Jul 28 2014, 12:13 pm

Do your kids like the nanny?
If so, I think you should keep her. It can be very difficult for children to change caretakers.

Also, about the cleaning factor...
I used to babysit for a family and after working for them for a while, the mother asked me to also clean up. If I wanted to show what I was thinking, I would've also rolled my eyes. I wasn't looking for a job as a maid or housecleaner. She didn't offer me any extra money, but even so, an extra $60 a week wasn't going to get me to touch their dirty underpants, clean their toilets, and scrub their dishes leftover from yesterday's dinner.
Idk how you brought up the topic - did you ask her if she's fine with that or did you make it sound like a requirement? If it was the latter, you may have put her in an uncomfortable situation.

In any case, good luck with making the right decision for your family!