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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
My kids are miserable



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:04 am
I have a 3.5 and a 20 month old who are at home with a nanny and they are miserable. We really would like to have a different nanny but no one seems to be available. I would put them in a camp except that
1. I don't like that they are run by such young girls and
2. My daughter has a medical issue and needs extra care, which is why I decided to keep them home.
If there was a good situation that my kids could be in out of the house I would do it, but nothing seems to be available. Any ideas? I have no family around.
TIA
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Bruria




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:15 am
Do you have a nanny because you work? If it's not the case it would be better to take care of the kids yourself till you found someone else..
Anyway, call everyone you know, maybe someone you know from shul has a daughter/niece someone that could replace her, because this nanny is probably not doing her job very well if your kids don't like her! Make this your number 1 priority!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:22 am
Are you looking to replace the nanny? Where are you located? I am looking for a job and have good experience/references.
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jewishwoman




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:54 am
I work but am also sick a lot so I must have the help. =( I wish I could just be with my kids!
I've been posting all over the place for a nanny. We also just moved out here so we dont' know too many people, but I've been telling everyone we know we need a new nanny.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:58 am
Where are you located? Perhaps we can recommend someone or someone looking for a job can apply to be your nanny.
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SplitPea




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 1:02 am
Are you paying th going rate?

Sitter city and care.com are great resources for finding help out of major areas. In the frum areas there are tons of agencies we can send you to if you tell us where you are.
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MaBelleVie




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 4:46 am
My recommendation for finding a nanny: go to the park, where nannies tend to hang out during the day. Let them know you're looking, and they will usually have numbers for friends who are available. Then, interview them. Trust your instinct. Have them come a couple of times when you're home so they can play with the kids while you see how they interact. If your kids are not clicking or you don't like her style, move on. Good childcare is of utmost importance. Good luck!
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self-actualization




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 7:56 am
What I would do if I were in your situation would be as follows:

Set up a schedule for the nanny for every day.

Morning: breakfast, get dressed, go to park with [bubbles, chalk, books, snack]

Lunchtime: come home, eat sandwiches, 20 month old takes a nap, 3.5 year old watches a cartoon for 1/2 hour (or plays on etch-a-sketch or colors) while the nanny cleans up and washes dishes

Afternoon: Kids go out with the nanny to the library/backyard/different park or swingset (depending on the day). They stay out until 4/5 pm when it's time to come home for dinner.

Dinner: Kids eat and then on Monday/Wednesday/Friday the nanny bathes them and gets them into PJs. On Tuesday and Thursday she does laundry or folds laundry.

This is basically how I run my schedule until the kids are old enough to be in camp. If you set up a robust schedule with very little downtime, it will help alleviate the feeling of boredom. If your nanny can't do this for some reason, then she's not the right nanny for you.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 8:26 am
not op here- I'm in passaic, nj and desperate for a nanny as well- since I'm supposed to be on bed rest.
I tried care.com and various nanny sites, but none of the ppl want to work for a family with more than 2-3 kids. I even called very expensive agencies, they all say you need 2 nannies. Some of them charge more than what dh earns an entire year, but still won't care for more than 2-3 kids. They just don't have the same concept of having so many children, bli ayin hara, and even the ones who are willing to try really aren't capable of handling it- from what I've seen.
good luck, op!
anon bec I've posted on my fb and community pages as well with my name.
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IMHopinion




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 8:37 am
Why are they miserable with her?
Time for a nanny cam?
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self-actualization




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 11:21 am
I thought of another idea for you. What about a licensed daycare? It's not cheap (where I live it can be $800 per month per kid) but it's run by experienced older people and they serve snacks and lunch. I was once in a pinch without a babysitter and used one of these - my daughter was extremely happy there.

Are you planning to send your 3.5 year old to school in the fall? Can you send him/her to the camp associated with the preschool for August?
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jewishwoman




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 11:56 am
OP here,

I definitely feel for the lady on bedrest - I've had that problem, too (twice)! But thankfully I only had 1, and it was during the school year.

So, I live in Israel, and there isn't gan right now - just summer camps that end around 1pm which isn't long enough for me, and it's run by preteen girls. I also live in a new neighborhood where there are still no parks (iy'H very soon!). As per the nannycam - wasn't sure what the halachics were with this.

I love the schedule, except, my kids really don't like the nanny! She needs to go! But I haven't found a replacement yet. Luckily throughout the day, a few people responded and I've interviewed one today and one tomorrow iy'H and we'll see whose the best fit. I just feel so horrible that my kids are so miserable. She just doesn't love my kids. And my kids feel it and they give her a hard time and she just doesn't get that they just need to be loved. Our last nanny (before we moved) absolutely adored them and they felt she loved them but was not willing to commute.
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IMHopinion




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 12:08 pm
Op, I don't understand.
If my little children wouldn't like a nanny, I wouldn't allow them near her another day.
They're not teenagers who can sometimes be brats, they are babies, and babies dislike a nanny for a valid reason.

How can you trust her near your babies!

Do you know a reason why they don't like her?
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