Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette
To put up a gate, or not to - that is the question....



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 5:16 pm
I moved to a new house that has a fence on both the right and left sides of the yard w/ no gate.
There is also a horizontal stone path going thru the yard right by my porch.
The previous owners did not mind (apparently) that e/o cut thru the yard but it really bothers me.
I like my privacy and feel very invaded to have a constant stream of ppl walking thru the yard. (especially when the kids stare thru my back door. yes, I know I need a curtain or shades but haven't gotten any yet, and I still don't want them in the yard)
Also, one side of the yard opens onto a very busy street so its a safety concern as well.
I would love to put up a gate on either side, but I don't want to seem unfriendly or alienate my new neighbors. My kids also are really benefiting from having all the kids come by and play when they're in the yard.
So what to do? Put up the gates or not?
Back to top

sky




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 5:30 pm
There is a halachic issue of removing a shortcut.
I know people who have moved into houses and posted No Trespassing, or please go around and not cut through signs to get around this even if they give temporary permission to people so it should be considered an established shortcut and they should have an issue removing it in the future.
If that isn't a problem, then I think there is no problem either posting a sign or asking people not to cut through.
Back to top

busydev




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 5:45 pm
my inlaws have a yard that all the neighbors go thru. there are gates that are left open. however once or twice a year they close them for a day so it doesnt become considered a public shortcut (this was their rav's psak)
Back to top

studying_torah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 29 2014, 6:16 pm
I wasn't asking Halacha wise, that is a seperate issue. I was asking manners / friendship wise.
I have ppl tramping thru all hrs of the day & night so I can't ask everyone not to go thru- would be impossible bec I would literally have to be out the entire time & just say over and over please don't come thru.
Back to top

Sarah f




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 31 2014, 3:22 pm
Maybe make up a sweet poem explaining how "sorry" you are to inconvenience them but for security and house insurance reasons you have to close the through-way . Put one on the gate and put one in each of the neighbors postboxes and give them and their kids an open invite to come play!
Back to top

mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 31 2014, 4:01 pm
put up the gate. do not worry about lack of friendship. when it is a good time for kids to come play, open the gate, bring out some cookies, and ask the neighborhood kids if they'd like to come play. do this for a week, and the kids will realize that they are welcome to stop by and play during those hours. put up a sign on the gate that says, "we love having friends over. if you'd like to come play and the gate is locked, please knock on the door." when they knock, you can tell them whether or not it's a good time. you don't need to have a whole pr campaign to allow you to put up a gate without animosity. you have the right to privacy and safety, and this is pretty basic.
Back to top

sky




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jul 31 2014, 5:09 pm
I would put up the gate. I like my privacy. Or you can put up a sign.
I think if you just moved in it is much easier to do it. I think the longer you wait the more stickier it will get.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Baby gate
by amother
0 Wed, Feb 21 2024, 2:23 pm View last post
No baby gate at stairs
by amother
54 Sun, Jan 14 2024, 3:05 am View last post
DH gate
by amother
5 Sun, Oct 15 2023, 6:15 pm View last post
Retractable or regular stair gate? 2 Sat, Apr 15 2023, 9:53 pm View last post
Baby gate
by amother
10 Tue, Apr 11 2023, 12:21 am View last post