Balabustas, I need you!

gp2.0

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 2:22 pm

Why is my house always a mess?

The thing is, I was never a neat person. I wasn't neat when I got married. I feel kind of like - a year after I got married, I got a clue and learned to pick up after myself. Three years after I got married I got a clue and learned how to pick up after two people, DH and myself. But by then my first DD was already around BH and making a mess.

Then by the time I managed to organize her things somewhat, I got her toys into bins, books onto a bookshelf, started a "one toy at a time" rule etc., the house still looks like an explosion of toys, garbage and STUFF because now there's TWO beautiful kids messing up the place and TWO adults who aren't the neatest people in the world either.

Basically I feel like I'll never catch up.

I need some tricks - shortcuts - that will make this cleaning thing - and keeping things clean easier. I kept track one Sunday and I cleaned the living room THREE times and at the end of the day it was a wreck again. I didn't feel like cleaning it a fourth time. So I feel like I'm doing something wrong. There must be some kind of lifehack for this! No? Maybe? Please? Very Happy

Reesa

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 2:31 pm

The first trick is to make sure everything has a place and that you're not just pushing the mess around your house. Secondly, you need to be constantly throwing things out. A house accumulates junk very quickly and you need to limit the amount of stuff you save.
Then, you need to do little bits all day so there's maintenance. When you use a fork, wash it instead of leaving it in the sink. If your going to the next room, bring something with you that belongs in that room. Etc. You have to get used to it, but when you retrain your way of living, you won't feel like you are working hard and your house will always look normal.
Good luck!

Delores

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 3:42 pm

Reesa wrote:

I too, like the OP, find it very challenging to keep the place in order and I appreciate what you wrote but how do you decide what to throw out? This is the hardest part for me.

Reesa

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 4:46 pm

Delores wrote:

I too, like the OP, find it very challenging to keep the place in order and I appreciate what you wrote but how do you decide what to throw out? This is the hardest part for me.

I am not even referring to the closet organizing and giving things away. That's for a different time. The thing you need to get used to is getting rid of those things that constantly flood or houses. Mail creates lots of junk. Sort out the important stuff immediately and dump the rest. Kids projects and coloring pages shoul be hung on a bulletin board for a week and thrown out to make room for next weeks. (Don't do it in front of the kids and they won't mind.) prizes and toy junk should be eliminated as soon as excitement wears off, usually there's more coming. When cleaning up toys at night, get in habit of throwing out broken parts or toys. All weekly reading material should be thrown out after Shabbos or when you receive your next issue.
I have a shoebox per child for very special projects or chochkes that are keepers. But it's not in their possession so there's no emptying it all over the place.
And I think a very important thing to enforce is all eating must be at the kitchen table. And wrappers/leftovers straight in the garbage. This eliminates Cheerios in couch cushions and cookie crumbs in hallway etc.
good luck!

mummiedearest

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 4:56 pm

I have the same problem. so here are my rules:

sweep the floors once at the end of the day. I use an outdoor broom for my wood/laminate/tile floors. I don't pick up toys first. sweep everything into a pile in the middle of the floor. then pick up the toys from the pile. then sweep the rest of the pile into the dustpan. this is quicker than walking around and gathering toys.

dishes- once a day. I find that morning is the best time to wash dishes. figure out when the best time is for you.

carry a garbage bag from room to room while cleaning. it makes cleaning less of a chore.

arrange things so clutter doesn't gather. this is the hardest for me. I don't have a coffee table in my living room, I don't want clutter. but all the seats in the living room get cluttered. I also have a mantelpiece, which is the dumping ground for anything that needs to be out of the kids' reach. I clear it off every few months embarrassed

I honestly don't notice it anymore...

I arranged my dining room shelves to minimize clutter. I used to have all my display items on open shelves and the sforim in a bookcase with doors. I switched it. the open shelves are more likely to be cluttered if I have an assortment of items there. doors prevent that kind of clutter.

I go through our toy collection every couple of months and throw things out. anything broken or not complete gets thrown out. anything the kids don't play with at all gets thrown out. at this point, I keep whatever I consider well-used or classic toys. I try not to get them toys just because I like the toys. there needs to be an occasion for it. also, I put up shelves in my girls' room. these shelves have books and board games within reach, and toys that are infrequently used but I want to keep are out of reach. occasionally I take these down for the kids.

large baby items- when not in use, lend them out long-term to friends you trust. understand that there is a chance the item will be destroyed, but you're likely to get it back when you need it.

laundry- keep multiple hampers in convenient areas. all bedrooms should have one, the main bathroom should have one, and you need one in the living area.

containers! go buy some containers. I bet you need some Smile

ok, after all these tips, I should mention that my house is a wreck today. I didn't clean up after yesterday. I should do that...

Heyaaa

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 4:59 pm

Two things I swear by that make my life a thousand times easier are the swiffer and clorox wipes.

I also struggle with this. Something that helps is making sure everything has a place and if the place is in public than it should look decorative. For example, I have a bunch of bottles on my dresser but they are on a pretty tray so they look neat. Sometimes at night I'm too lazy to hang up my clothes and I was leaving them on the floor. I bought a little basket in the corner that is basically big enough for one day's worth of clothes so I can go to sleep with a neat bedroom. I have a pretty, lace basket for my remote. This way the remote doesn't end up wherever but in its place. I have another pretty basket for all the toys that fits in a corner of the living room.

Btw 2 years old isn't too young to learn how to clean up after herself.

Also if you're looking for a life hack, Real Simple has the most amazing housekeeping tips.

gp2.0

Wed, Aug 06 2014, 11:48 pm

Wow thanks everyone! OK there are some good tips here.

1) Just went through the paper corner in the kitchen and dumped 10 old arts-n-crafts with DD's agreement. I suspect this is part of the problem - too much stuff. I tend to hang on to stuff, not really for nostalgia, more like for, what if we need it someday. It does seem like as soon as I get rid of something I find myself needing it - like an extra saucepan or photo frame or coffee mug or container that I haven't used in years. Should probably do the box solution - put stuff into a box in storage and if I haven't found myself wanting it - heck, if I can't even remember WHAT is in it after a year, get rid of it.

2) Eating at the table is a good rule that I'm successfully enforcing 90% of the time. I don't have as much success with "throw trash in the can instead of leaving it on the floor or table."

3) How do you make a room look neat if it has large toys in it - like bikes or cars?

4) A hamper in the living room and bathroom! Now that could be a game-changer.

5) I agree, the clorox wipes are awesome. I keep them in the kitchen and bathroom for quick cleanup (I think this was also a tip from mummiedearest in a thread a long time ago, that I immediately implemented with excellent results.)

6) I do tend to dump clothes on the dresser instead of hanging them up. Not sure if a basket is the right solution for me. I've been considering getting myself a valet stand. DH has one and uses it all the time. (I actually got lucky with his valet though and got it for free. Anyone have one they want to get rid of? LOL

)

7) I've tried flylady.com. It was too hard for me. The reason why I used the phrase life hack is because I don't think I'm capable of changing. At least, not any faster than a snail's pace. I HAVE changed over the years somewhat, but as I said in my OP, the rate at which I'm learning to be neat isn't keeping up with the rate of the increasing mess. If I can change one thing that becomes permanent on its own without maintenance - like starting a junk drawer in the kitchen (also a great idea, I did that a year ago and clear it every few months) or adding a hamper to a room, the kind of thing that almost seamlessly changes bad habits on its own - those ideas are priceless!

Thanks so much everyone, whenever I reach out I get some life-changing tips. I really appreciate the time you take to share your advice.

ra_mom

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 12:36 am

gp2.0 wrote:

This is the core for me. I have to keep throwing things out. The best is when I take 5 minutes once a day and go through one area and just toss.

freidasima

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 9:13 am

Never leave something in the middle, unless there is an emergency. Follow through to the end.
If you get mail, open it, read it, and file it immediately. If you do laundry, take it off the line, fold it and put it away immediately.
After a meal wash all dishes, dry and put away immediately, wipe the table, and before you leave the stove when you have cooked, wipe it down from dirt and sprayed food. Never say "I'll do it later". Do it immediately.
When you take off an item of clothing if it is dirty put it in the hamper immediately, if it is clean and you plan to rewear it the next day fold it and place it neatly on top of your dresser and if is something like a coat, put it immediately on its hanger and put it away or on its hook. Same for shoes, take off and put in drawer or in shoe spot immediately.
papers. Finish readng and then toss immediately into paper bin.
Garbage - collect the trash every day from every room and toss together with kitchen garbage outside the house. Recycleables, if inside the house when you finish put immediately in the bin, if outside then have a designated place in the house for them to go until you take them outside into the recycle bin.

Bills, paperwork etc. If you can pay immediately, do it. If not, have a designated folder on your desk or home kitchen shelf where all bills go. Another for all medical prescriptions that have to be picked up or doctors referrals that have to be carried through.

Shopping - have a list on the fridge with a pen nearby and as soon as you finish something, and take the "extra" (always have an extra in your pantry be it toothpaste, soap, ketchup, rice, sugar, flour, toilet paper etc.) becomes the "daily", write on the list to get an "extra" of it.

Kids toys - rules - one at a time, kids have to put it back before taking out another. Food only at the table. drink only at the table. Kids take off clothing? Same rule as yours, follow through to the end.

DO NOT BE LAZY. Do NOT stop a task in the middle. Take it through to the end. And step lively.

questioner

Thu, Aug 07 2014, 11:56 am

freidasima wrote:

Besides that I am too lazy, how can you do this with little children?
When I start washing the dishes immediately after a meal it goes something like this: wash one dish, "Mommy, <15monthDD> climbed onto the table". Take her off the table, have her cling for dear life, put her down with a toy, turn to the sink, "Mommy I have to go to the bathroom". Take child to bathroom, wait for 10 minutes for something to happen, distribute treats. Then break up a fight or two, pick up the garbage can and garbage that DD dumped onto the floor, give out cups of water, wipe up spilled cup of water, change a diaper, break up another fight, pick up baby who is frantically crying and nurse.

If the dishes get done at any point therein, you can be sure that at least 3 toys were taken out in the interim and are all over the floor...

It might be my laziness, but in the long run, sometimes it keeps things neater to only attempt the dishes when kids are in bed or otherwise occupied. And only then start on wiping the table and drying and putting away dishes (just kidding, putting away the clean dishes is generally reserved for Erev Shabbos)