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Hot chani
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:50 am
dancingqueen wrote:
The only problem I would have with a hot Chani - one who dresses completely covers everything in a very provocative way- would be if she or her community considered that style more tznius than an mo woman wearing regular jeans and t shirt.

I do feel that many reactions here come from a place of insecurity and jealousy though.

There is a lot of truth in this. If you are wearing jeans and a t-shirt you are certainly not being a hypocrite. The "hot chanie" seems to be playing games with the letter/spirit of the law, and that's just childish at best and hypocrisy at worst. And for those who call any post criticizing ANY behavior as being judgemental, well, please realize that the person who said "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" was the founder of a religion that is NOT Judaism. We can ALL upgrade many aspects of our tznius, our yiddishkeit and our ahavas yisroel, but that doesn't stop us from having the ability to call it as we see it. Sorry, but no one is wearing skin-tight clothes, a sheitel she can sit on, and hooker heels for any reason other than satisfying the male gaze. And the "but I'm tznius" stance is adolescent at best and rather disingenuous. Be as hot as you want, but do it in the privacy of your own bedroom please. You are now all welcome to flame me as much as you wish.
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Tablepoetry




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 1:21 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
The only problem I would have with a hot Chani - one who dresses completely covers everything in a very provocative way- would be if she or her community considered that style more tznius than an mo woman wearing regular jeans and t shirt.

.


FTR, I think jeans and a Tshirt can be very modest. My mother used to go around in pants and a Tshirt and really, I can't think of anyone who exuded more modesty than she. There is nothing inherently immodest about regular pants and a regular Tshirt. A skin tight shell, OTOH, is something I think even most secular folk would raise an eyebrow at.


I really don't care how others dress. OK, I may secretly think that a certain style is trashy, but it's not something I actively devote any thought to. It would not prevent me from being this person's friend, or - I can't believe this needs to be said - from caring if they hung around the vicinity when my dh was home.

OTOH, it would terribly aggravate me if a 'hot Chani' (hate the term, but anyway) adopted a self-righteous tone. In fact, I can recall one such situation right now. A nice young woman, a new bride who I met, very sweet, but with a fondness for skin-tight shells. Anyway, one day she started preaching about some point of modesty I should consider - can't remember what it was, I think pants or hair covering - and I could not believe how oblivious and arrogant one could be.

So wear what you like. Whatever fits your lifestyle, your comfort level. If you love celebrating how s-xy you are, I have no objection. (Even though some women can do that with class, and some can't). But....please......I hate preachy people in general....but it's much worse when the preacher is wearing stilletto heels.
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monseychick




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 1:31 pm
black sheep wrote:
is there some kind of dress competition that I wasn't aware of? why can't each women dress how she wants, and leave each other alone? why should it bother a women if her neighbor dresses provocatively? if I wear a long jeans skirt and a long sleeve t-shirt and a tichel every day, does that mean my friend cannot wear a tight skirt and full wig and heels? why on earth would a woman be concerned that her husband might see someone who dresses differently than she does? are we all competing for our husbands attention?

count me out of this game. dress how you please, and I will dress how I please. I am that lady in the long skirt and long sleeve t-shirt with crumbs and baby spit up on it. and a tichel, my sheitel comes out for weddings and other special occasions. I feel comfortable and I hope you do as well in whatever you are wearing. and I know you aren't dressing that way to steal my husband.


Many women are insecure and afraid their husband is drooling over the other ladies...
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monseychick




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 1:34 pm
forever21 wrote:
I have a more important question: Why do these women feel the NEED to dress up like that?? wearing tight clothing with long shaitel and tons of makeup is soooo uncomfortable! I feel bad for people that dress like that. they must have a big void in their life and are trying to make up for it by dressing that way.
Me? I prefer being comfortable as I run around all day working, taking care of kids, and running errands. I would not last a day in those tight clothes, my stomach would be popping out as soon as I ate lunch. Rolling Eyes


I never ever dress like that, but I can understand that many women do not want to get nauseous and depressed when they look in the mirror...
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mazal555




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 2:38 pm
I think that the hot Chani phenomena is mostly the fault of their husbands. If they felt secure and loved and paid attention to by their husbands, most of these women wouldn't dress this way because they wouldn't feel like they needed to. Notice that there are not as many single hot chanis?
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:11 pm
Tablepoetry wrote:
FTR, I think jeans and a Tshirt can be very modest. My mother used to go around in pants and a Tshirt and really, I can't think of anyone who exuded more modesty than she. There is nothing inherently immodest about regular pants and a regular Tshirt. A skin tight shell, OTOH, is something I think even most secular folk would raise an eyebrow at.



Right, that's my point.
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:16 pm
debsey wrote:
There is a lot of truth in this. If you are wearing jeans and a t-shirt you are certainly not being a hypocrite. The "hot chanie" seems to be playing games with the letter/spirit of the law, and that's just childish at best and hypocrisy at worst. And for those who call any post criticizing ANY behavior as being judgemental, well, please realize that the person who said "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone" was the founder of a religion that is NOT Judaism. We can ALL upgrade many aspects of our tznius, our yiddishkeit and our ahavas yisroel, but that doesn't stop us from having the ability to call it as we see it. Sorry, but no one is wearing skin-tight clothes, a sheitel she can sit on, and hooker heels for any reason other than satisfying the male gaze. And the "but I'm tznius" stance is adolescent at best and rather disingenuous. Be as hot as you want, but do it in the privacy of your own bedroom please. You are now all welcome to flame me as much as you wish.


I agree that they probably want attention, but it's just as likely that they are trying to make other women jealous. I honestly highly doubt that that just because a woman dresses s-xy that she is actually trying to titilate someone else's husband.
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gittelchana




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:33 pm
mazal555 wrote:
I think that the hot Chani phenomena is mostly the fault of their husbands. If they felt secure and loved and paid attention to by their husbands, most of these women wouldn't dress this way because they wouldn't feel like they needed to. Notice that there are not as many single hot chanis?


There are many single "hot Chanis" too. (I hate the term Mad )
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BrachaBatya




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 4:42 pm
I shall wake up tomorrow morning, walk into the bathroom and ask, "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the hottest Chani of all?!"

Hahaha
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forever21




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 5:15 pm
mazal555 and debsey, that is precisely what I was trying to say. I agree that many women tend to dress that way as a way of getting attention and perhaps its bec their husbands dont pay as much attention to them as they would like. and to the poster who wrote that these women dress like that so they dont get nauseous when they look in the mirror, well thats just sad. that if theyre not wearing tight fitted clothing they feel nauseous when they look in the mirror.
And barbara, you called me judgmental for my opinion bec I judged those that dress that way? let face it, people judge others.
And those that are bashing me for my opinion and the fact that I feel that way, you dont need to be nasty about it. Its hurtful. I guess ppl can be mean when theyre talking behind a screen name bec when im having conversations with my friends and we disagree about something, we are respectful about it. I respect her opinion and she respects mine. silly of me to think that we could discuss this on imamother in the same way.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 5:23 pm
mazal555 wrote:
I think that the hot Chani phenomena is mostly the fault of their husbands. If they felt secure and loved and paid attention to by their husbands, most of these women wouldn't dress this way because they wouldn't feel like they needed to. Notice that there are not as many single hot chanis?


Are you serious? of course there are. We just don't criticize their buttock-length sheitels because they're not WEARING sheitels. If they're looking for masculine attention, well, that's legitimate, when you're single and looking, you use whatever ammunition you have in the hunt. If that means showing off your figure or flipping around your long hair, that's what you do. It may not be quite proper but we can cut you some slack. But once you're a married woman, all that should be reserved for your dh and not scattered around the neighborhood.

Of course there are men who adore their wives to bits and WANT them to dress this way. Either because they like to look at them like this all the time, or because it bolsters the HUSBAND's self-esteem to show off his trophy wife. Sure, he loooks like a dweeb, but if he has such a hot wife, he must really be something.
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Frumdoc




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 5:48 pm
Plenty, plenty of single "hot chanis" round here, it gets a bit embarrassing watching the girls trot around on shabbos and all the married men trying to put their eyeballs back in their heads Smile

They hunt in groups of 2 or more, preferably 4 or 5 to obtain the desired jaw drop effect from both men and women, as their sidewalk blocking stance is simply a method of attaining adequate attention to their most thought out sartorial detail.

They compete with the married ones, who are distinguishable from the unmarried variety solely by their walking aids (aka strollers) which enable them to go from the singleton's maximum walkable heel height of 6 inches, to the killer 8 inch stiletto requiring either a toddler to hang on to for the wobbly moments, or preferably a stroller (although this does put the risk of a recent dress size challenge in there as a confounding negative factor). The heel height increment may be a significant factor in the decision to get married in some cases, I have surmised. LOL Rolling Eyes
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 6:07 pm
Bitachon101 wrote:
Its that neighbors wife that dresses just too inticing that u really don't want ur dh catching a glimpse of lest he covet her or wish u were as hot but are not. (Whether or not u r or aren't).
Especially when she keeps flicking back that oh so long and luscious wig in public. Etc.

Then dh comes home and wants u to buy a tight hot pink skirt and tall leather boots and grow ur sheital and ur like, u kiddin me? shock shock shock


no im like ok so gr8 time 4 shoppin but fyi wigs cant grO shock Banging head Yes Bounce


Last edited by marina on Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 6:50 pm
dancingqueen wrote:
I agree that they probably want attention, but it's just as likely that they are trying to make other women jealous. I honestly highly doubt that that just because a woman dresses s-xy that she is actually trying to titilate someone else's husband.


I agree. It is about competition - whether to make men interested or other women insecure, doesn't matter. What matters is that it is definitely not because they feel "comfortable" this way. It's a costume, donned for a purpose. And the hypocrisy comes in when it's "oh, but I'm so tznius. My six-sizes too small skirt skims my knee when I squirm really fast......at least I'm not in jeans." Please. Go put on some slacks! It would be more honest (and yes, I say this as a yeshivishe woman).
debsey
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 7:30 pm
debsey wrote:
I agree. It is about competition - whether to make men interested or other women insecure, doesn't matter. What matters is that it is definitely not because they feel "comfortable" this way. It's a costume, donned for a purpose. And the hypocrisy comes in when it's "oh, but I'm so tznius. My six-sizes too small skirt skims my knee when I squirm really fast......at least I'm not in jeans." Please. Go put on some slacks! It would be more honest (and yes, I say this as a yeshivishe woman).
debsey


Seriously?!
I don't believe I qualify as a hot chani (disqualified because I'm no chani and because my tzniut standards are quite different than chani's), but from what I read here it seems that I, and many that I know, dress in a similar manner - sans the ridiculous exaggerations used here, such as a "six-sizes too small" skirt. Rolling Eyes And that has nothing to do with making anybody insecure or uncomfortable, nor does it have anything to do with piquing the interest of men.

It's a costume just like your yeshivish gear is a costume. It's purpose is the same as the purpose of your attire. To clothe the body in a manner that the wearer feels good in.

And, yes, it is comfortable. It's comfortable and it feels like me.
Why would somebody dress themselves in uncomfortable clothing? You think they would do that to make you feel insecure or to get your man's attention?

You really need to grow up if you think that your neighbor or friend or whomever thinks about you or your man when she gets dressed in the morning.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 7:45 pm
Lady Godiva wrote:
Seriously?!
I don't believe I qualify as a hot chani (disqualified because I'm no chani and because my tzniut standards are quite different than chani's), but from what I read here it seems that I, and many that I know, dress in a similar manner - sans the ridiculous exaggerations used here, such as a "six-sizes too small" skirt. Rolling Eyes And that has nothing to do with making anybody insecure or uncomfortable, nor does it have anything to do with piquing the interest of men.

It's a costume just like your yeshivish gear is a costume. It's purpose is the same as the purpose of your attire. To clothe the body in a manner that the wearer feels good in.

And, yes, it is comfortable. It's comfortable and it feels like me.
Why would somebody dress themselves in uncomfortable clothing? You think they would do that to make you feel insecure or to get your man's attention?

You really need to grow up if you think that your neighbor or friend or whomever thinks about you or your man when she gets dressed in the morning.


Untrue in many ways. A shaitel that is so long you can sit in is NOT comfortable. Tight clothing, extremely high heels, caked on makeup - these things don't feel very pleasant when they're on. I had a phase in my life when I wore some of those things (high heels! girdles! long itchy sheitel!) They are being worn for a separate purpose that has nothing to do with comfort. It would be honest to completely dispense with pretending to be tznius. This is hypocrisy.

I completely agree that clothing is a costume in the sense that it is a language about the self. It has very little to do with "feeling good" and everything to do with telling the world who you are. If I was clothing my body in the clothing I feel good in - to be honest, that's my workout gear. But since I believe in hilchos tznius (and my underarmour compression pants are wonderfully comfortable for working out, but NOT what I consider tznius for street wear) I have to wear clothing that is consistent with my identity. I love it when said clothing is also pretty and comfortable. But it is not always both. What it always is is consistent with who I am.

In terms of my hypothetical neighbor - I don't care what she or anyone else wears. But if she's dressing that way for my benefit, it's a wasted effort because I am NOT impressed. I once read an anecdote about a poor man living on the block of a very ostentatious man. The the ostentatious man was renovating his mansion once again, and the poor man said "No thank you." The ostentatious man said "what?" The poor man said - it's the OUTSIDE of your house. Clearly, you are redecorating it for my benefit - I'm the one who looks at it. And I don't like it!"

It is not about comfort. It is about fulfilling another need. Whatever that need is, it's one that the woman is willing to go through a lot of discomfort for. And that's sad. Once you are tolerating discomfort, do it for a worthy goal.
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 7:54 pm
debsey wrote:
Untrue in many ways. A shaitel that is so long you can sit in is NOT comfortable. Tight clothing, extremely high heels, caked on makeup - these things don't feel very pleasant when they're on. I had a phase in my life when I wore some of those things (high heels! girdles! long itchy sheitel!) They are being worn for a separate purpose that has nothing to do with comfort. It would be honest to completely dispense with pretending to be tznius. This is hypocrisy.

...


So maybe you feel the way you do because when you went through that phase of wearing heels, girdles (I didn't know those still existed! Do you mean spanx? I don't care for those either.) and long, itchy wigs (do clean, human hair wigs make you itchy?) you were trying to get men's attention or to incite other women's jealousy. But in reality your average woman who wears clothes that you may find to be too "hot chani-ish" for your taste is not doing that for those reasons.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 7:59 pm
Lady Godiva wrote:
So maybe you feel the way you do because when you went through that phase of wearing heels, girdles (I didn't know those still existed! Do you mean spanx? I don't care for those either.) and long, itchy wigs (do clean, human hair wigs make you itchy?) you were trying to get men's attention or to incite other women's jealousy. But in reality your average woman who wears clothes that you may find to be too "hot chani-ish" for your taste is not doing that for those reasons.


When I was single and newly married, I definitely dressed up more. Thought I had to. HATED girdles (yes, they still exist, as do spanx and all other iterations). When my sheitel was long, it definitely was less comfortable than when it is shorter. I STILL hate wearing makeup at weddings. It feels heavy and uncomfortable. I did none of those things to impress anyone or anyone else's husband. I was just dressing like everyone else where I lived.
I was not at ALL a hot Chani, ever. But I do know that clothing that's too tight (which is pretty much the definition of what spanx IS) , lots of makeup, long wigs, and high heels don't feel good. High heels actually HURT........
So let's be honest here. NO ONE is dressing that way cuz it feels more comfortable than other clothes....maybe it feels more psychologically comfortable. There, you and I do not disagree........
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mandr




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:05 pm
Why don't the hot chani's just buy these and we'd have less to criticize?
http://www.jockey.com/catalog/.....I-cut
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Lady Godiva




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:08 pm
mandr wrote:
Why don't the hot chani's just buy these and we'd have less to criticize?
http://www.jockey.com/catalog/.....I-cut

Thongs are better for the no panty line. (Though I find cheekies to be the s--xiest underwear of all.)
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