Lakewood - anyone still school-less?

LittleDucky

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 10:49 am

Chayalle wrote:

I thought she meant there are girls who refuse to go to schools that willing to accept them, because they are holding out trying to force acceptance from the schools they want to go to.

That's different than going to schools outside of the city. I wouldn't be ready to send my 14-year-old OOT for high school.

Not sure if I would be ready to send a 14 year old away if there were local options. Especially last minute. If you knew there were no choices you could prepare them- plus they wouldn't be leaving with the stigma and burden of "no one wants me".
This "holding out" is a different story unless they know for a fact that the "choice HS" is the only option for them (eg: resource room if that even is possible in HS, or it's wheelchair accessible if that's needed and the other one has a flight of stairs to get in the building). Not "I want to go to Harvard but I only got into Princeton", as per her definition of Harvard. If that's why classes are being held up- she and her parents should reimburse all parents in the area for tuition lost because school started late (you can figure out tuition per day) as well as lost learning. But if they could afford that, they probably could have donated a wing to the school of choice and might have gotten in. shock

debsey

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 12:56 pm

amother wrote:

Most girls don't get in and it's disgusting to say they are only waiting to get into the top school. They want to get into any good school.

Depends on the girl and the situation......Some girls are misguided by parents into thinking only one school will do, when in fact most of the schools in Lakewood are wonderful. Some girls are mistakenly not placed in the school of their choice, and by the time they agree to their second choice, the slot has been taken. Some girls truly would be better off out of town.
I know of one particularly sad case where a girl wasn't accepted to the school of her choice, known for its fine, aidel student body and not particularly strong academic load. She was placed in a very academic school, and felt like a failure there. Not surprisingly, she really didn't do well. Nothing tragic happened, but it's sad that she was shoehorned into a school that really didn't work for her (and the school tried, but when you see that your peers are taking the 'regular' test and you are always taking 'modified', it can get you down, especially when you're 14) Her mother is trying so hard to switch her, but no dice. Everyone familiar with the situation knows she'd blossom in the school she should have gone to.........
In my case, my daughter was not accepted into the top school of my choice (which really was not MY choice but DD wanted to go there) and we were accepted to the second school (which was the one I really liked, but DD didn't want to go) Three years later - we could NOT be happier. This school is a great fit! But partially - I told DD - we are NOT lobbying for that school you want - you were placed here, it's a perfectly good school, you had a great interview - and look at it this way - do you want to go to a school that reluctantly takes you at the 11th hour, or a school that wanted you from the get-go?
B"H, I'm thrilled with my decision, and DD couldn't be happier.

debsey

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:18 pm

amother wrote:

There are uniform stores who will open at midnight (!) to outfit these girls so they can start school with their dignity intact. More power to them!

Yes. It's the 'little chassadim' that really make you realize how special some people are. I know of a uniform store that knew a girl who is obese due to a medical condition was coming in for a uniform. They special-ordered several larger sizes so that when she came, she wouldn't know that it was special-ordered. (rather than measuring her and saying "we'll order it") so special........

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:20 pm

debsey wrote:

In my case, my daughter was not accepted into the top school of my choice (which really was not MY choice but DD wanted to go there) and we were accepted to the second school (which was the one I really liked, but DD didn't want to go) Three years later - we could NOT be happier. This school is a great fit! But partially - I told DD - we are NOT lobbying for that school you want - you were placed here, it's a perfectly good school, you had a great interview - and look at it this way - do you want to go to a school that reluctantly takes you at the 11th hour, or a school that wanted you from the get-go?
B"H, I'm thrilled with my decision, and DD couldn't be happier.

Similar - DD wanted to apply to school X because most of her friends were going there - they were all siblings so were accepted by default. I felt school Y was a better fit for DD, and she actually kind of knew that too, on some level. Also I knew that she likely wouldn't get into school X unless I tried to push, which I wasn't going to do when I didn't feel that it would necessarily be to her benefit, on so many levels. But it's hard for a teen to accept that socially she will have to start over without her close friends......

B"H DD is very happy in the school she is in. She still has close friendships that she maintains with her elementary school friends (and it's fun to be friends with girls in other schools and share all your news, and hear theirs, and go to each other's performances, etc....)

I think as parents we do our kids a service being open-minded. I know girls whose parents pushed, pushed, pushed for other schools. When it didn't work out, they went to the schools that accepted them with a negative attitude, which is a shame, as the schools are good schools. Or they finally got in but still carry a chip.....

debsey

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 1:23 pm

Chayalle wrote:

ITA - DD wanted to be with her BFF, who was a sibling in a very hard to get into HS. Years later, she has new BFFs, still keeps up with her old BFF, and has a large network of friends in different high schools. What seems like a total tragedy, on par with Romeo and Juliet (HOW can I POSSIBLY be APART from my BFF!!!!! THE WORLD IS ENDING!) when you're 13, is just a bump in the road and perfectly fine when you're 16..............