Nanny issues....Confused

amother

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 2:33 am

So I have a wonderful nanny/housekeeper who cleans does laundry and helps out with the kids. She watches the baby while I'm at work. People often tell me when they see her out with my toddler how good she is with her. She's also worked by friends/cousins of mine sometimes and everyone had positive things to say. She's very flexible about hours, like when things come up at work and I need to stay late. Or when DH has a meeting in the house and there maybe be extra work to clean up she always does it with a smile. I've come home eay sometimes from work, and found toddler singing and happy.

1 friend told me that she sees my nanny out with toddler, is rough with her and yells. Once when friend visited she commented how the lady didn't clean. I'm confused. I know the nanny is strict, won't give in to dd tantrums. But always makes sure dd is well fed, reads stories, plays games, and as I mentioned above dd is happy when I come home and loves to play with nanny. What do I believe? How do I know if she's really mistreating my kid based on the info 1 friend is saying?

Tziril Miriam

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 3:58 am

Your "friend" may be giving you untruthful or exaggerated information. Monitor the situation but try maintain a satisfied, happy demeanor with your nanny. If you are on-edge or discuss rumors with your friends and neighbors you may ruin your relationship with an excellent employee, and harm your daughter.
This is a very delicate situation. Hopefully, your friend just overreacted to your babysitter raising her voice. It is up to you to decide if your home is clean enough. A safe, happy child is more important than a spotless home.

Mrs Bissli

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 7:11 am

Yes I confess I have raised voice when my (then young) children were not behaving properly or trying to do something dangerous. Also I'm quite sloppy keeping house tidy esp when I'm tired. Would that make me a bad mummy?

I would trust your and your child's instinct. But it's always a good practice to keep an eye on someone looking after your children. You can always ask her that someone you knew saw her the other day and sounded like your child was giving her difficulty and let her explain. (See that's less confrontational way of asking, but don't just ask if things were ok because she's probably more likely to say things were ok and nothing to worry about.) If she disciplined your child, I would thank her for taking the right action.

amother

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 4:23 pm

People hold nannies to a higher standard than they hold themselves. I would take your friend's words with a grain of salt.

As a former SAHM, most of the time my house was messy because I was busy with my kids. It's hard to do both well at the same time. The yelling/rough thing? I would ask her to get more specific and explain exactly what she saw. One moment taken out of context means nothing.

Eemaof3

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 5:34 pm

I was once caring for children in camp and got in trouble with my boss because she heard I yelled at a child. Yes, I did -- because the boy was running full speed to beat the living daylights out of a child who had just hit the boy's sister. Had I not yelled and stopped him I would have had a full fledged brawl on my hands. Take your friend's information with a grain of salt and go with your gut. If you and your child are happy with the nanny and the majority of reports are positive, chalk up the information to an off day.