What house rules do you have?

avocado7

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 7:38 am

First they could all receive a sticker for doing any 1 job. make a chart for each child
but remember to hide the stickers so there's no cheating going on !!
This thrills them and you'll see them running to do mitzvos once they get going !!
After about 10 stickers or more they could win a small prize affordable one.
TOYS= lets all pick up the toys together and you must help them , to get started.
it does work well if you help hopefully they'll finish the job alone eventually.
DIRTY CLOTHES= go directly into the laundry basket make sure theres perhaps one in the bedroom esp 1 in the bathroom.
SETTING & CLEARING THE TABLE The 2 older ones must help to set and clear the table ,I suggest you do it with them,
perhaps until there able and responsible knowing what they can and can't carry.
(knives only you handle.And glass.)
FLOORS =8 year old could wash the floors ! you prepare the water in a pail with a mop .Just watch out for electrical wires on the floor -to unplug them =not to be stood on and not to get wet.(could cause electric shock) H.V.
SWEEPING= the 5 and 8 yr old can be taught perhaps have turns each.Do it together with them!
LAUNDRY=the 8 year old can help to load and unload the machine,from the hamper -hopefully !!??
Both could help to fold clean laundry! together with you ,only maybe,if she will ?
Dishes you wash after every meal.keep it going.
DUSTING=get a feathered duster and you dust weekly.
let me know how its doing !!
Hatzlacha.
p.s. this is just helping with the order of the home.
If you want more information on discipline,bed time ? let me know.

Last edited by avocado7 on Sun, Sep 07 2014, 1:05 am; edited 1 time in total

imasinger

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 7:49 am

With my kids and their issues, our rules are simpler.

1. No hurting people. No hurting things.

2. Ask before you touch something that belongs to another.

3. "Must-do's" (responsibilities/chores) before play.

4. First time listeners will be rewarded.

About the cleanup when 2 kids play with the toy: your solution of having both clean it up is good. I'd put it this way: if you played with it at all, you help clean it up. It doesn't matter who takes it out.

Dawling

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 12:08 pm

These rules are great!
If I asked this years ago, maybe I'd have less grey hair LOL.
Yes, I'm also interested in bedtime and other rules.
I'm also quite confused about how to spend private time chatting with each child during bedtime. Even 5-6 min each, is that possible? The rest of the kids run wild when I spend private time with one child.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 12:27 pm

NO WHINING. I do not have conversations with anyone who whines. Speak to me in a normal voice, and you will get my full attention.

If you have to wake me up to ask, the answer will automatically be "NO". (a friend with 6 kids taught me that one)

If you spill it, you clean it up.

If you ask nicely and say "please", I will drop everything, jump up, and get it. I expect the same courtesy in return (might only work on older kids who have more impulse control).

Only two friends over at a time. My house is TINY. If you want to have more over, go play outside.

All musical instruments must be "outside toys" only (migraine trigger).

If you say "I'm booooooored", you will automatically be given a chore to do. It is not my job to be your entertainment coordinator.

If you say "I'm huuuuungry", you had better know what you are hungry for. I'm not going to list every single food item in the house, just for you to reject them all.

On hot days you can wear short sleeves and shorts around the house, but you are not setting one foot out the front door without a skirt, leggings, and long sleeves. You don't see mama going to get the mail in her underwear! shock

Really, I'm pretty easy going. I could have my house in much better shape if I really wanted to have that battle, but right now I live with a mess of toys everywhere because DD is happy, and DH doesn't really care, so I let things slide. When it's time for me to mop and get organized, I expect everyone to pitch in and pick up their stuff.

gittelchana

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 4:10 pm

Dawling wrote:

My 5 kids are between the ages 1.5-8 and I'm in desperate need of house rules that I can enforce to reduce the chaos and mess. I'm not expecting perfection, just a little more order in the house and to teach my kids responsibility.
Thank you ladies!

No eating outside the kitchen, dining room.

Coats, shoes, back packs etc. must be put away upon arrival Wink

Everyone has to help clean up. You can have everyone clean every day or have them take turns. Depending on the ages of your chldren and how many children you have.

Laundry has to go in the laundry bin.

In general, if everything has a designated place, keeping neat and clean becomes much easier.

My house is by no means a model of perfection, to put it mildly.... embarrassed

the world's best mom

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 8:40 pm

1- We sit at the table to eat. Nobody leaves the table without cleaning up their plate, cup and whatever other mess there is from their meal.

2- There is no hurting people. If someone does something that bothers you, we say "Please stop doing that, it bothers me." We speak to a mommy if necessary. But we never hurt anyone.

SS6099

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 9:24 pm

No friends in the house Friday afternoon.
No more than one toy at a time.
I don't ever listen to kvetching.
If we say its not fair, you lose that opportunity.
If you finish an entire cup of water by supper, you get to drink a cup of juice Smile

Mommy doesn't shout upstairs. If its important, come down and tell me...
Just to name a few!

Emotional

Sun, Aug 17 2014, 10:08 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

If you ask nicely and say "please", I will drop everything, jump up, and get it.

The only problem with this is that my kids often justify asking me do things for them that they can easily do themselves, just because they asked nicely. I think it's okay for kids to know that sometimes a parent's answer is no, even if they said "please".

Pita

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:24 am

Dawling wrote:

I do try to give each kid a bit of private time. It doesn't always happen. I only have 3. The one that gives the most problems is last in line (everyone is in bed at the time) and loses his/her turn if s/he interrupts the others (it is not always the same kid). Sometimes quiet time can even be cleaning up with one kid while the others play.

I have a reward system: a chart with 248 squares (positive mitzvot), a star (I use a pen except on Shabbat as stickers fall off), and you get special alone time with me when a chart is completed. I am pretty generous, and the older ones get 8-12 stars per day. They get stars for homework, cleaning, helping others, etc. But not if I had to ask you a bunch of times. Scheduling alone time is hard, but I like that they value time with me and work for it (rather than working for stuff). Plus I have more time if they do what they need to do when they need to do it.

groisamomma

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:08 pm

The only thing that worked for me to reduce the bedtime chaos was staggering bedtime. It eats up my time but I find that since I started several months ago I really got to know and talk to each one in ways I never made time for before. We schmooze while they undress, bathe, pajamas, and if there's still time then in bed.

Major House rule: No chutzpah. Not tolerated. Ever. From anyone. I wonder if that will still apply when they enter their teenage years.

MMCH

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:24 pm

my oldest is only 4, but this is what works for us

-shoes and backpacks get put away RIGHT AWAY
-your plate/cup/ anything goes into sink/garbage upon finishing meal
-clothing gets put into the hamper immediately (by child)
-we don't understand whining
-videos/cell phone playing ONLY happens after playroom is spotless, supper was eaten, child is bathed and in pjs. brushed teeth and hair (not every night of course, but when she asks)

Dawling

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:28 pm

Ladies,
Thank you! Thank you!
These are great. Of course, I'll discuss this with DH and see what applies to us and how to tailor the others, but I certainly appreciate the ideas.
Here's more discipline questions...
What happens when one of the kids doesn't follow the rules? What are the consequences? Ex, she's supposed to get ready for bed but instead she's playing around. Of course, it depends on the age and the rule being broken but perhaps there is a guideline I can follow.
Also...
The oldest has a hard time obeying authority, whether it's me, DH, the baby sitter. What should I do? Does she need more attention?
Lastly...
the 1.5 y.o. and the oldest are prone to hitting. What are the rules about that?
Thanks again.

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:01 pm

No house rules.

House standards and expectations.

You'll never be able to make enough rules to cover everything kids can think of to do, and you'll just end up working in law enforcement.

House standards are that people treat one another kindly, support one another unequivocally, and everyone pitches in to make the house a pleasant place to live.

That might mean that you sometimes clean up a mess you didn't make.

That might mean you attend boring plays and graduations to support siblings.

That might mean you stop teasing a sibling even though he started it.

That might mean you make sure to call if you're going to be late.

Don't confine yourself to "rules." Your kids will just spend their time finding loopholes and turn into mini-lawyers. The goal is not to raise a flock of legal eagles but to raise mentchen who do the right thing regardless of man-made "rules."

Scrabble123

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:05 pm

amother wrote:

Please post this under your sn! There is nothing to hide from! This is wonderful advice!

bigbird

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 3:08 pm

amother wrote:

Love this. The hardest part for me is explaining this mentality to a kid when they don't chip in…