is it ok for a husband to "like" pictures of other women?

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 4:43 am

My husband often clicks "like" on pictures of other women that he knows, on facebook. Now I really don't mind this, honestly, I know he's just being polite and friendly, especially when it's a female relative of his or a friend that we both know, even one of my friends. I know that loads of people do this and it's just normal, it's just that sometimes he "likes" photos of women that he knows for example, through work (the pictures are not seedy or anything, they are just like normal photos for example her with her baby or marriage picture or something, again I know that's fine, but occasionally he does like pictures of women where the woman just puts a really pretty picture of herself or something and I don't know if that's acceptable or not? I mean I don't know the person. It's just that, personally, I would never like a picture of another man that wasn't my husband unless of course it was a family member or something, just out of respect? Am I being over analytical about this?

rivmom

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:20 am

Queen6 wrote:

Do yourself a favor and get rid of your internet and smart phones. The smallest problem is that your husband is clicking like Sad

I made a deal with my dh, we both are not active in social media, it was incomprehensible to our coworkers in the beginning but we get used to this way of life.

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:29 am

finally! someone is addressing the question thats been bothering me ever since I opened an instagram account!! (and its for my business advrtsng purposes only and I plan on having no other social media acnts ever!!!)
I dont understand how women can trust their men with social media. there are sooooo many pictures of hot or untzniusdig women jewish and non jewish alike. how can a man be trusted not to give in to his natural teivos that hashem put into him? it has nothing to do with his level of erlichkeit!! my dh is extremely erlich and would never put himself into that trap!! how can millions of frum men just go aroung "liking" pictures of women ??? how do you know how often he looks at them and how long he thinks about them? this is completely beyond me.

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 8:55 am

amother wrote:

Why do you trust women more than men? I'm sure the men open their accounts for business purposes only too, and have no plans of other social media accounts ever......

Just playing devils advocate here.

mummiedearest

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 9:04 am

ok, I think there's a difference between hitting a "like" button and really studying a picture of a half-naked woman for the purposes of being lecherous. and it's one thing to "like" a picture of a sports-illustrated swimsuit edition cover and another thing to "like" a picture of chani vasnisht braiding challah dough, even if she's wearing a tight shirt. let's be real here.

honestly, a lot of my old friends/acquaintances have all kinds of "s-xy" pictures of themselves on fb. I've seen the pictures. they look RIDICULOUS. and I can't see my dh taking those pictures seriously, nor can see him liking them. there is a huge difference between professionally taken photos with good lighting, good makeup, and a well-picked wardrobe (and yes, this can include a tiny string bikini) and a selfie in a badly-lit bathroom with a woman making a duck face trying to get the proper pout. seriously. I think we owe our dhs a little more respect than is given them.

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 9:13 am

Chayalle wrote:

To answer your question simply, because hashem put the desire into men to look and think and turn it into action. And the teiva is just not the same for women. A woman does not transgress and is not led to transgression by looking at a man. Yes I know the internet/social media can lead even a woman off but its not as compelling for a woman to commit an aveirah, in the area of the preservation of yiddishkeit, as it is for a man.

gittelchana

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 11:32 am

amother wrote:

I don't think it's a big deal.

On the other hand, for various reasons, my husband and I don't use social media.

Chayalle

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:04 pm

amother wrote:

I think trust of men and women should be the same.

Neither I nor DH uses social media (for various reasons I'm not going into here). I would feel hypocritical to trust myself, but not my DH.

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:11 pm

amother wrote:

You have no idea how compelling it is or isnt for a woman to look at things they should not be looking at on the internet. Dont just assume. Trust me.

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 12:18 pm

The whole thing is icky.

Meaning, social media.

It's like sticking your finger in a Protein Slot and getting your nourishment intravenously that way, and never having to eat food again.

If you want to know how people are doing, ask them. Phone or email. Or the occasional brief text if you are going to be late.

Web pages that make family sharing easier are useful and fine, but only for far-flung family. Family. Family only. Skype is useful and fine.

Computers are very good because they compute and because you can go on Imamother.

What you are describing is icky. Friending and liking and eww.

So, to answer your original question, no.

Dina_B613

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 1:01 pm

This might sound silly, but do the people's pictures who your husband 'likes' generally like his pictures, like a reciprocal 'like?' There are a few people who always 'like' my pictures and statuses, so I 'like' theirs back.

Social media is a waste of time, generally speaking, so if you're worried about what your husband 'liking' these pictures, maybe it's time to get him to fold some more laundry...

Btw- there is an 'unfollow' button for people on fb. There are some people who I'm "friends" with, like family members, who I want to stay "friends" but don't want to see 1 million pics of them in bikinis or see their pro-Palestinian political views, so I 'unfollow' them..

amother

Mon, Aug 18 2014, 1:31 pm

Dina_B613 wrote:

Definitely, a lot of people "like" his pictures. When he changed his profile picture to make it a picture of him and me, loads of people he knows but I don't "liked" it. I agree it is a waste of time, I only use it to communicate with my family and so I can see their pictures and stuff, as we don't live in the same country. For example I wasn't able to go to a recent wedding, and I could see all the pictures on facebook, which was really nice. That is the only reason I keep facebook really. That and the fact that I can keep in contact with a few friends on there who also live abroad. But I totally agree with your review of it, it is overall negative in its repercussions on interrelating etc. But dh is too used to it now, all his friends use it and he keeps in contact with loads of people on there. He's a teacher, very popular, lots of acquaintances and people write to him every day. I don't know Confused

Ruchel

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 2:05 am

He can like back a professional or a family type or a couple pic.

I'm not one for generalization, I think Sefer ha Hasidim and some other (minority) sources says girls esp single shouldn't go listen to a nice chazan and not watch him, or be brought to shul with all this bochurim. Not all guys are those extreme, oversexed guys. And some women have one night stands. But if it makes you feel better to think it's normal...

mommy3b2c

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 8:16 am

In the scenarios your describing I cant say I would really care if my husb would like those pictures, but that doesnt make it right. Your post just remindend me how stupid and foolish social media has become. Who in the world wants to waste their timing liking pictures and waiting to see if they get liked back? It amazes me how so many otherwise normal adults have gotten caught up in this nonsense.