I don't like kids | Imamother

Reesa

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:03 pm

I have little patience for them. I love my own but even they can be a challenge on my patience.
I really do not like other peoples children and it gets on my nerves when people randomly send their kids over to play. I know it's a normal thing but since I don't like it, I am uncomfortable sending my kids to others houses. Those who don't mind having others over don't think twice about sending often to me. Then there are those who come every day. I can't handle it! What's wrong with me? It's hard enough cleaning up after my kids, I don't appreciate the extra work. I have a hard enough time breaking up fights and putting up with my own kvetchy ones..... You get the point. Where can I grow some patience and tolerance??? I have none!!!

mandr

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:15 pm

I totally get you. That's why they're the neighbor's kids, and not yours. You get what you can take care of. I love my baby and have patience for him, but I would not have patience watching someone else's baby or even a bigger kid. I had lots of patience as a girl, but none of the extra patience these days - it's all focused on my family. Don't beat yourself up over it. Just instead of collapsing and then feeling bad, why don't you just speak up and tell said neighbor that they can't come play now? My sister does that sometimes. If she can't handle neighbors now she tells her kid who answered the door to tell the neighbor, "my mother said now is not a good time to come over and play." That's all. Or call your neighbor and tell her that she should please ask before sending her kids to you. (or to pay you!)

Reesa

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:17 pm

If I would say that whenever I'm not not up to having kids over, I would be always saying that. I must be a bit extreme but I never enjoy having kids over. It's a stressful experience for me.

mandr

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:30 pm

Reesa wrote:

I'm uncomfortable doing that when I don't wan to reciprocate.

But whether or not you want to reciprocate, you are reciprocating when you have them over all the time.

Reesa

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:41 pm

mandr wrote:

But whether or not you want to reciprocate, you are reciprocating when you have them over all the time.

I know you are right but I have a hard time taking favors in general even when appropriate.

SRS

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:48 pm

I refuse to break up fights or put up with high maintenance kids when I'm not in the mood, which is most the time. Set some limits (outside play, reciprocate in a park where kids can play ball, ride bikes, hang off the bars).

Show your kids exactly how the play area must look in order to have friends at the home. They should be trained that they clean up with their friends or clean up after their friends. Explain the house rules when they come in and 15 minutes before they live give a reminder that the house better be spit spot. If there are fights in my home, I'm more than happy to send the guest packing.

If you set better boundaries, you might start to manage other people's kids better and meet the social goals you have for your kids and deal with your own "lack of patience" otherwise known as being pretty normal. I am not high on the patience chart with kids. But I'm also no nonsense and kids seem to respond to that. Kids seems to come over often and I even have a kid or two that wants to hang out despite the child being a bit more difficult in responding to our structure.

Learning

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 4:59 pm

I don't think anybody like to take care of other people's kids. Are you overworked. To you get to have breaks? Maybe you need a break from time to time. I do have sometimes kids that comes over that are a huge pleasure. Nine yo dd has a friend that when she comes over they play quietly for hours and I like that. You need to let your kids have friends over. It is part of their fun to have friends come to their house.

busydev

Tue, Aug 19 2014, 5:54 pm

Learning wrote:

I don't think anybody like to take care of other people's kids. .

I dont mind and even taking care of other peoples kids at times. and at the times I dont want them I tell them its time to go home or they can come play a diff time or to ask their mommy if my child can play by their house if they want to play with him. granted at this point im talking 3yo's so it may change. and its not all day as I work FT

FranticFrummie

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 4:10 am

I am a very quiet person, and my nerves get frayed very quickly. I also don't have a lot of energy for housecleaning.

I have a few rules, and I stick by them.

You MUST call before you send kids over. No drop buys, unless it's one girl who lives around the corner.
Only DD and 2 friends in the house at a time. Maximum, no exceptions.
No yelling! Take it outside or tone it down.
I need to know when the other kids are due to go home, and set the kitchen time for 15 minutes before that. Everyone has to help clean up completely before it's time to go. They don't get to run off and leave DD (or me) to clean up the mess.
The only snacks I offer are popcorn or corn chips. Water only, no soda or candy.

By staying firm with my boundaries, it has really saved my sanity. I'm also willing to ignore invites from people who have kids that I think are not a good match for DD. DD is way too considerate of other people's feelings to stand up for herself when kids get mean, so I run interference and nix the play dates in advance.