How to deal with yarmulka theif?

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:21 pm

My almost 3yo has turned into a yarmulka thief? how should I deal with this. He is taking other kid's yarmulkas and hiding them (sometimes in places that we cant get them out of!)

So far I bought him his own yarmulka and told him to take that when he wants one.
I keep telling him that we are not allowed to take yarmulkas off of peoples heads.
and I also started giving him time outs when he does it- usually he does it when playing outside with other kids so we went inside for 5 minutes when he did it.

Any other ideas or quick fixes? I cant have all my neighbors replacing their kids yarmulkas cause of my kid.

gittelchana

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:43 pm

amother wrote:

I don't know that there are any quick fixes. Crying

Unfortunately, this is a stage that some/many boys go through and hopefully pass through a bit sooner. If there's consistent consequence, he'll eventually give up the practice.

Barbara

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:45 pm

amother wrote:

Is he stealing them, or playing keep away? The latter is developmentally appropriate.

Make the game less fun for him. If he takes a kippa, he returns it, then goes in time out.

Oh, and your neighbors shouldn't be replacing the kippot. You should be. Yes, he's little. Yes, his actions are developmentally appropriate. But if it causes a loss to others, its your responsibility.

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 1:50 pm

Barbara wrote:

he takes them and runs away. and sometimes sticks them in random places (like thru the gate) but yesterday I was unable to get it back.

I do make him return it. and he did go in time out yesterday (I warned him the previous time that he would get a time out next time) and that is the plan for the future.

halachically I actually dont have to replace it. BUT I did offer and my neighbor assured me that its fine and part of life. So for now im taking her word for it.

SplitPea

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 2:10 pm

amother wrote:

Halachically maybe not. But being a decent human being you do...

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 2:20 pm

SplitPea wrote:

Halachically maybe not. But being a decent human being you do...

I guess you didnt read the full paragraph. here it is again:

Quote:

halachically I actually dont have to replace it. BUT I did offer and my neighbor assured me that its fine and part of life. So for now im taking her word for it.

I did offer to give her money for a replacement, halacha aside. and she said I should keep it. because I am a decent human.

thank you Smile

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 2:22 pm

amother wrote:

I did offer to give her money for a replacement, halacha aside. and she said I should keep it. because I am a decent human.

thank you Smile

the "decent human" part should have been before the "and she said..." part embarrassed

reads like she said I should keep the money because I am a decent human LOL

Jewishmom8

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 3:16 pm

is he doing it for the attention he gets when he does it? is it fun for him in some way?
can you try making not such a big deal about it and then right away bring his attention to something else? like read him a book or play a game with him. like to get his mind off of it completely.

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 4:12 pm

Jewishmom8 wrote:

initially it for sure wasnt for attention. im still not sure thats why hes doing it. more that he just cant control himself when he sees it (age appropriate and all) and it may be fun? I dunno how his brains works exactly.
im not sure how I should read him a book or play a game in this situation. he is playing nicely with his friend/neighbor driving trucks or digging or whatever. out of the blue he plucks off the kids yarmulka and runs to the gate and stuffs it thru a link. or plucks it off the kids head and throws it. or he plucks it off the kids head and runs and puts it under another toy. (he used to do more throwing, now its more hiding or putting thru the fence). I dont think I am making such a big deal about it. more taking it back from him and telling him we dont take yarmulkas. and then he gives it back to the other child. and then they play nicely again. but after daily occurences with this I now told him we go inside for time out for 5 minutes when he takes a yarmulka away. that happened once thus far. yesterday. should I be distracting him after he gives the yarmulka back? (except when we cant get it- it was kinda comical yesterday, our attempts to retrieve it)

amother

Wed, Aug 20 2014, 4:42 pm

marina wrote:

you are handling it fine and don't lose your sense of humor. This post was pretty funny.

awww

why thank you.

I try to remember to keep my humor when dealing with kids. dont like what happens when I dont. way to much stress and stuff. not good for the blood pressure and all. good thing im a decent human LOL