Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Interesting Discussions
To the Moms & Dads
Previous  1  2



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 6:03 pm
morah wrote:
I've found davka the opposite. Shopping in a frum supermarket, kid melts down: I get plenty of bubbies giving me tips and telling me it'll IYH pass, and plenty of sympathetic "I get you" looks from younger parents. Same scenario in a Key Foods, it's total stink-eye and how dare you appear in public with your ill-mannered crotch-fruit in tow. I actually think frum people tend to have a much harder time figuring out when not to bring a baby because b'h we have so many and our public spaces tend to be pretty accommodating (or at least understanding). That's why it's so hard to be single or childless in our communities- we are set up for the default of couples plus children. While it obviously makes sense, as most frum adults are married with children, it has the effect of pushing those who are not to the margins, and also, you have families forgetting that these are nice perks and NOT entitlements, and thus they sometimes act like the world is obligated to step aside for their giant double strollers.


Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter

too funny. who came up with that one? wow.
Back to top

morah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 6:21 pm
mummiedearest wrote:
Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter Rolling Laughter

too funny. who came up with that one? wow.

It's a favorite of the child-free by choice crowd. Interchangeable with "crotch-droppings", though maybe slightly less derogatory :-)
Back to top

gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 10:01 pm
amother wrote:
I wonder what you'd think of this situation:


When I was single I stood on line in the snow at 10 PM to visit the Rebbe's room (considered holy in Lubavitch).

After me, maybe at 11:30 PM a bunch of women with babies got in line.

Someone in the back yelled: "Let the ladies with the babies go first!"

And they all ran and cut the line to the front. The same big mouth yelled out "Now this is Ahavas Yisroel!"

I was angry. I had waited an hour and a half and now had to wait an additional hour because these women brought babies?? I was also from out of town and these were locals.

I have children now B"H and still think it was disgusting.

If it was too snowy and midnight for babies, leave them at home.

This is one of many reasons I hate Crown Heights and never visit there.


Once I went to some shiur about tznius (I didn't really want to go but went halfheartedly). I was like 18. I came on time. Then a whole bunch of married women came in late, and someone decided that all the single girls (many who were adults already) should give up their seats to this group of married women (most who appeared to be 19). I did not give my seat up, to say the least. No can do,sister.
Back to top

heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:59 am
OP, I am B"H a mother to kids within a large age range. I agree with every word you said.

I will add that it really gets to me when people bring young children to shul on the yamim noraim and the kids are babbling or kvetching and the mother doesn't move. Excuse me lady, I am here to daven. When children are too young to be brought to shul, your avodah is to be home with them, not to interrupt my davening.

I think your post is really directed to inconsiderate people of all types, whether parents or not. There are plenty of parents who are not inconsiderate.
Back to top

LittleDucky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 1:11 am
gold21 wrote:
Once I went to some shiur about tznius (I didn't really want to go but went halfheartedly). I was like 18. I came on time. Then a whole bunch of married women came in late, and someone decided that all the single girls (many who were adults already) should give up their seats to this group of married women (most who appeared to be 19). I did not give my seat up, to say the least. No can do,sister.


Total pet peeve of mine. It's one thing if they were 9months pregnant. But then again, when I have known I will need a seat, I made sure to get there early. I totally don't get the whole "just because I have the ring I am on a higher social echelon. I can come late, be loud, and cut the line/get a seat etc. " if I know it will take me extra time-I leave that much earlier!
Back to top

etky




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 1:22 am
heidi wrote:
OP, I am B"H a mother to kids within a large age range. I agree with every word you said.

I will add that it really gets to me when people bring young children to shul on the yamim noraim and the kids are babbling or kvetching and the mother doesn't move. Excuse me lady, I am here to daven. When children are too young to be brought to shul, your avodah is to be home with them, not to interrupt my davening.

I think your post is really directed to inconsiderate people of all types, whether parents or not. There are plenty of parents who are not inconsiderate.


This is my pet peeve too - not only on the Yamim Noraim though, on a regular Shabbat too. And it's not just the ladies - in my shul it's often the men who have the noisy kids in tow.
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 1:45 am
OP Here - thanks for the support. For the record, I don't expect people not to bring their children on planes, trains, and busses, etc... but there is a limit. Like the baby I saw at a rock concert when I was in my early 20's. And I feel that if someone is changing a diaper, on a restaurant table, they deserve the stink eye. I do not want to smell anyones poop while eating a $70 entree.

I guess it's all made worse by the fact that I was told, a few years, by my doc that I'll probably never have children. It feels inconsiderate of parents to complain about how hard it is when I'll never be able to experience what they're experiencing, or be condescending to me. I'd never say to anyone, "I don't want to hear about how tough it is to find Brachie a party dress when my ovaries are basically dead," but it's difficult to listen to these complaints on loop in a society that feels very child-centric.

It reminds me of when I was visiting a very wealthy friend in my early 20's, and her mother was complaining about how their PILOT for their private plane was going to be running late and they would get to their vacation house an hour late. Then she went on to complain that her MAID got her the wrong latte. I was like.. you have a maid? You have a pilot? That was at a point in my life where I was eating Ramen noodles every night and sweating over my financial aid, and just couldn't work up the sympathy for someone whose pilot and maid weren't 100% for one day.
Back to top

heidi




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 2:15 am
etky wrote:
This is my pet peeve too - not only on the Yamim Noraim though, on a regular Shabbat too. And it's not just the ladies - in my shul it's often the men who have the noisy kids in tow.


Etky, I truly believe that the vast majority of the time the men have the kids bcz. their wives won't let them leave the house for minyan if they don't take them.
Back to top

Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 5:53 am
What? giving your seat to a (young, not pregnant, not disabled) married? huh no
Back to top

amother


 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 9:39 am
90 %of the time I don't mind being surrounded by kids and babies, I enjoy it.

I did get upset when last week, I stopped off at the kosher shop on my way home from work, completely exhausted and barely standing up as I turned my ankle the day before and was standing all day, and just picked up some milk. Got to the checkout, put my milk down at the counter and then was pushed aside, literally, by the frum male manager, who pushed this lady with a whole trolley of shopping and 5 kids in tow in front of me, and said she should go first as she has children and needs to get home, picked up my milk, handed it back to me.

And she looked embarrassed, shrugged and loaded her stuff up while I stood there waiting to buy my carton of milk for 20 minutes while her kids went and raided the candy section and the checkout person waited patiently for them. I even asked her if she could swipe my milk and I would give her the exact change, but she refused.

I was too tired to make a fuss, or get the bus to another shop, so I waited. The sad thing is, it isn't even unusual behavior round here.
Back to top

Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 9:56 am
Ruchel wrote:
What? giving your seat to a (young, not pregnant, not disabled) married? huh no


I was once at a bar mitzvah in a relatively small shul. I arrived sufficiently early to have a seat. A bunch of girls in their early 20s arrived and sat near me. Then their friend, probably in her 8th month, came, and there were no seats left. She was clearly having trouble standing, so 40-something me gave her my seat. She took it, and spent the rest of the service chatting with her friends while I stood. When I told DH the story, he told me I was an idiot for getting up for her. He was probably right.
Back to top

Barbara




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 9:59 am
amother wrote:
90 %of the time I don't mind being surrounded by kids and babies, I enjoy it.

I did get upset when last week, I stopped off at the kosher shop on my way home from work, completely exhausted and barely standing up as I turned my ankle the day before and was standing all day, and just picked up some milk. Got to the checkout, put my milk down at the counter and then was pushed aside, literally, by the frum male manager, who pushed this lady with a whole trolley of shopping and 5 kids in tow in front of me, and said she should go first as she has children and needs to get home, picked up my milk, handed it back to me.

And she looked embarrassed, shrugged and loaded her stuff up while I stood there waiting to buy my carton of milk for 20 minutes while her kids went and raided the candy section and the checkout person waited patiently for them. I even asked her if she could swipe my milk and I would give her the exact change, but she refused.

I was too tired to make a fuss, or get the bus to another shop, so I waited. The sad thing is, it isn't even unusual behavior round here.


Don't go to that store ever again. I wouldn't.
Back to top

debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 10:58 am
Barbara wrote:
Don't go to that store ever again. I wouldn't.


I agree. And I'd tell the owner why. I once had the opposite story - I was pregnant and someone kicked a friend of mine, who had been infertile for like 7 years, out of her seat so that I could sit down. I was so mortified, I left the shul and went to hear megillah somewhere else, sent my friend chocolates and a heartfelt letter, and was just appalled. I don't really know the lady who caused the scene - she's one of those older women who feels like she's entitled to tell the world what to do because she's old and supposedly "wise" but every time I see her in passing, I feel like yelling at her.
Back to top
Page 2 of 2 Previous  1  2 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Interesting Discussions

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Waterdale collection or A&M judaica
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 10:15 pm View last post
Jack & Becky pjs
by amother
3 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 2:52 pm View last post
H&M Suit 10 Mon, Mar 25 2024, 9:37 pm View last post
Any awesome instagram accts for moms of autistic children?
by amother
5 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 1:26 pm View last post
Moms into fitness ?
by amother
1 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 1:32 am View last post