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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Preschoolers
My kids don't listen to me and don't behave in public



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amother


 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:27 pm
B"H my kids are energetic and fun loving but since it's that time between camp and school and we are together constantly I see that they really lack manners and respect towards me and I want to rectify it now!!!
They are 5 4 and 3 and the 3 year old is more clueless than the others - the others are so loud. We were at a dr today for a checkup and they are fighting who goes first, spitting while dr talking to me, just all over the place and it's awful. I keep saying be quiet, stay still (yea right) be quiet (again!) and then I say if you don't behave no toys for you later from the toy store ugh nothing works. We go shopping for clothes and they touch everything in the store....
At home its one big mess here. They are dressed and ready to go out at 9 AM and its vacation I don't have anywhere to really take them that early in the morning.
I am overwhelmed because they don't have the ability to just "chill" at home. And this vacation goes well over another week for us. I cannot take all 3 out together. My three year old wasnt even with me today she was with a babysitter....who let her nap longer than I said and now shes wide awake as I am collapsed from exhaustion.
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kb




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:37 pm
Did you try saying "wow, look how nicely 4yr old is sitting" - sometimes complimenting one kid makes all the other kids behave.

Signed, a frazzled, overwhelmed, mother, who can't wait for playgroup to start again!!
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precious




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 10:01 pm
If you want to take them out, you can always go to a park early in the morning. tire them out, then maybe they'll play quietly a little at home so you can get something done.
If you can avoid taking them shopping... I very rarely take all my kids to the store with me. If I must take them all, I make sure to tell them BEFOREHAND that they will get a treat for xyz behavior - be very specific with what behaviors you expect. My kids can get out of hand very easily but if often works.
Good Luck!!
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Aug 26 2014, 10:42 pm
a few things: at that age, offering a punishment that will occur later will do exactly nothing. if they misbehave, they get a time out. yes, in the store. find a quiet corner and make the child sit for a few minutes. if you don't want to do that, take the kids and leave the store immediately. once you have left, tell them, "we can only go shopping if we all behave properly." on the way to any shopping trip/errand, explain to the kids EXACTLY what is expected in terms of behavior. if they misbehave, it's time out or out of the store. they'll catch on.

at the doctor's office, interrupt the conversation with the doctor (say excuse me) and talk to the child in question. give one warning. if they don't behave, time out. because you know they get wild, it might be a good idea to bring along a toy for them to play with while you talk to the doctor.

they're up and ready to go? hand them baby wipes and let them clean all your furniture. tell them that if they do magic, the baby wipe will change color. alternatively, you could go on a walk with them. nature walks are great.

the ability to chill is either a personality trait or a taught one. if your kids have always been entertained, they're not going to suddenly learn to chill. start off small and train them. you'll thank yourself later.
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amother


 

Post Wed, Aug 27 2014, 12:44 am
1. Acknowledge and reward positive behavior. "Wow, Shifra, you are sitting so nicely!" "Shmuly, of COURSE you can have a snack when you ask with please! When you ask with please, it's easy to say say yes!" Etc. etc. etc.

2. Make it very, very clear that poor behavior is completely unacceptable. I have a child with behavioral issues, another child who easily gets caught up in that child's misbehavior and an overactive toddler. They all know that I will happily carry them to time out/strap them in the stroller/make them sit on a bench until it's time to leave the park/etc. etc. etc. if their behavior is in any way inappropriate. Yelling or whining immediately gets you sent to your bedroom with the door closed until you are done yelling and whining.

My kids quickly began to behave appropriately for an overwhelming majority of the time because 1. they saw that good behavior was positively acknowledged and generally got them what they wanted, and, 2. they decided on their own that poor behavior just isn't worth it.
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