Bring gift if invited 4 dancing?&can I go to chupah instead?

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 6:53 pm

If you aren't that close to a person and were invited to dancing at a wedding, would you bring a gift? If you were invited to dancing, is it ok to come to chuppah instead?

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:13 pm

How can you be invited to dancing but not chuppah? Isnt it the same invitation that comes without a response card? (Or maybe invites work different out of the US)

amother

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:15 pm

Also gifts are never mandatory. You dont need to bring anything but if you want you can give something small maybe worth $18 or 36.

agreer

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 8:51 pm

F I am just invited for dancing and am not close to kallah, I do not bring a gift.

heidi

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 10:39 pm

In Israeli charedi cirlcles (have never seen this on a dl invite), people can be invited for "simchas chosson v'kallah" at like 10:00 at night. If you're invited to the meal, there's a card enclosed in the invite telling you so.
OP, I would buy a small gift (under 100 shekel) and call it a day. I would definitely go to the chuppa, wish mazal tov and then go home!! No way you'd get me somewhere at 10 at night if I hadn't been invited to the whole thing.

Simple1

Wed, Aug 27 2014, 11:46 pm

I don't think you're obligated to bring a gift.

Ruchel

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 2:22 am

What? no chuppa and no meal? not even one of them?
I wouldn't go unless it's accross the street. I'm not a professional dancer or animator. Confused

Rutabaga

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 2:32 am

I'm no Emily Post (or whoever the frum equivalent is), but I don't think you are obligated to give a gift in this case. I believe the rule of thumb is that you should give a gift if the hosts are paying to feed you (shmorg or sit down meal) or if they are paying per person who shows up.

As for going to the chuppah when you're only invited for dancing later, that I really don't know how to "pasken.". Maybe if you do go you shouldn't sit down unless there are extra seats.

heidi

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 6:29 am

I am not the OP, but can I clarify please?
The invites I have seen always state the time of the chuppah and the time of the simchas chosson v'kallah.
I think OP is invited to both or either.
Please correct me if I"m wrong.

Simple1

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 6:53 am

heidi wrote:

That makes sense - the invitation always has the chupa info.

suzyq

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 7:12 am

Call the kallah and ask if it's ok to come to the chuppah - I had someone do that at my wedding - she asked if I minded her coming for the chuppah instead of dancing because she really wanted to see me get married. It was totally fine with me. My guess is it will be fine. I don't think a gift is required but if definitely a nice thing to do.

Page 1 of 1