Allocating funds when you DO have enough

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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cookiecutter

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:19 pm

Dunno if anyone is going to join this because I don't really have a hot button point to make. Just idle chit chat on some things that have occurred to me lately on topics of spending.

I guess generally I'm interested in how families that are making it but without a huge surplus allocate funds.

Us: About 90k income, about 82k necessities if you go by the book.

Some things we do:

Shop in secondhand stores and pre-buy clothes a year early.

Drive to a distant grocery that is about 10% cheaper.

Fairly simple shabbos. This is something I'm pretty curious about because it seems like a lot of people take a different approach. We had guests last week, so instead of baking 2 challos, we bought 3 (my husband and I both bought, which is a story in itself, but I guess challa freezes okay Smile

). We also had a roast. I had some sticker shock because the "good" roasts were like $45 and we see it all the time when we eat at other people's houses. We got a cheaper one for about $30. When all was said and done, I was shocked at the extra costs that other people seem to get every week. (Oh, also hummus, lox, etc.)

More shabbos: We find it cheaper to have Salmon because it costs less than a whole roll of gefilte fish, and we would use the same amount of gefilte fish (2 servings) as salmon (2 servings).

More shabbos: We usually put only a bit of meat in the cholent. My husband HATES this, not because he wants more meat but because other people put in more meat. He wanted to use a whole package when we had guests. We compromised on half a package. (like $5). Nobody complained, but its true that our cholent doesn't "burst" with meaty juicyness like some people we have eaten by.

I'm curious to hear what other people in similar financial circumstances do. Sometimes I feel like the poorest in our neighborhood because we have a used car and hand-me-downs while neighbors have new leased cars and the fanciest frum fashions. But then they are scrambling to pay other expenses while we have the luxury of good credit and at least some money for retirement (though I worry that someone's going to have to pay for all the people who aren't saving, and it's going to be the people who are saving...)

Thoughts? What non-necessities are important to you, and where do you cut to make room for it? What is untouchable? What do you do to bring in that little extra?

amother

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:28 pm

cookiecutter wrote:

More shabbos: We find it cheaper to have Salmon because it costs less than a whole roll of gefilte fish, and we would use the same amount of gefilte fish (2 servings) as salmon (2 servings).

I cook a loaf of gefilte and freeze the rest. One loaf lasts a few weeks.
My friend does not like the taste of frozen fish so she cuts it in half and cooks half a loaf each week.

HonesttoGod

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:30 pm

My question is how are we still struggling when doing all this "scrimping" and all our friends have cars, fancy phones, expensive celll plans, go on vacation, go away for shabbosim etc. I don't see what they are scrambling to pay unless it is rent and leasing fees and I don't know but I feel like a tzedakah case amongst them when in reality I can afford a pair of shoes if I save up for it. I could on vacation if I wanted but then I wouldn't be able to pay rent, bills or anything else.

I don't get it.

cookiecutter

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:37 pm

amother wrote:

I cook a loaf of gefilte and freeze the rest. One loaf lasts a few weeks.
My friend does not like the taste of frozen fish so she cuts it in half and cooks half a loaf each week.

We've tried this but it never caught on because when we make the fish, we eat it shabbos afternoon but when we don't make it, we don't miss it. Smile

naturalmom5

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:45 pm

Sometimes you just need to know how to cook
We are managing on a third of what you are . My husband puts very little meat in his cholent fir health reasons
He jokingly calls it Cheap [...] cholent.
But everyone raves about it over the cholent at kiddushim

vintagebknyc

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:51 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

and you needed to share that word with us, why?

cookiecutter

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 3:59 pm

HonesttoGod wrote:

I can't really tell from your post whether your neighbors have higher income than you or not. If you earning less than they are, then there's your answer. If you are earning the same amount then they are taking money from somewhere. The thing with money is that it's always zero sum - it has to come from somewhere in order to go somewhere. I learned this over time dealing with collections from frum people. If their toys don't match their job, then they are behind on something else. (I did not pry into other people's lives; but eventually you start to learn the meaning of "Sure, we are going to contribute! I'll have a third party check for you next Thursday but I'll need you to hold it a couple days!"

cookiecutter

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:00 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

So what's the trick? Aside from the fact that there can't be more literal pieces of meat than you put in?

amother

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:03 pm

cookiecutter wrote:

We've tried this but it never caught on because when we make the fish, we eat it shabbos afternoon but when we don't make it, we don't miss it. Smile

If you know exactly how much you will use then freeze the leftovers BEFORE Shabbos

pesek zman

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:05 pm

[quote="naturalmom5"]Sometimes you just need to know how to cook
We are managing on a third of what you are . My husband puts very little meat in his cholent fir health reasons
He jokingly calls it Cheap [...] cholent.
But everyone raves about it over the cholent at kiddushim[/quote
I literally gasped when I read that word. Still a bit shocked

amother

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:16 pm

just some side points- I could be wrong but I think a lot of people make fancier lunches when having guests, with more variety etc.... don't judge other people's regular shabbos by what you see. Roast on a regular shabbos seems like a lot but may be that's just where I'm coming from...

you don't know how often they "go away for shabbos" to their parents etc... that's a shabbos that they aren't paying for. money can and often is coming from elsewhere- think parents Smile

or other places My husband's phone is paid for by his company- he didn't have such a fancy phone when HE was footing the bill Smile

HonesttoGod

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 4:54 pm

cookiecutter wrote:

I honestly don't know. I mean dh makes a nice-ish amount but I don't understand how these people could earn more if they are working less time. Not to mention they all seem to have the "easy" jobs (ok no job is easy but I see dh working like a dog 10hours a day sunday to friday and they are working 10-6 mon to thursday). The one person I know makes more than dh only one of them work, so it still doesn't add up because dh and I both work full full time.

Hopefully this is just the beginning and we will work our way up but it definitely hurts. A lot.

naturalmom5

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:02 pm

vintagebknyc wrote:

and you needed to share that word with us, why?

WOW !!???!

Lighten up

IRL, not one of our guests has ever had such a reaction
It's a light hearted joke , among friends .
Nothing more

naturalmom5

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:04 pm

cookiecutter wrote:

So what's the trick? Aside from the fact that there can't be more literal pieces of meat than you put in?

Ketchup , onion soup mix . The meat is marinated in wine

Frumdoc

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:23 pm

I am in awe of my mil, who makes the exact same meal every shabbos, and still manages to make it delicious and fresh tasting and shabbosdik, for very little money and no shticky stuff...

Even with guests, the only thing she varies are the salads, which are really creative.

All the leftovers get either frozen or used during the week, so salads last till a Tuesday or Wed, chicken (never meat) another 2 or 3 meals, gefilte fish she freezes and gets out for next shabbos, and fruit salad, her only dessert, gets eaten for snacks during the weeks.

Because she is inherently refined and calm and charming, her friends admire her meals and she is big demand as a hostess despite the relative simplicity of her meals, just because she makes it all seem so easy and elegant.

She is a real lesson in how to be a great hostess without showing off with fancy expensive showy meals. She even makes her own sushi (learnt from youtube!) which is way better than most of the bought stuff.

(She is a true shoah survivor's child with a horror of waste and unnecessary expense, but loves to entertain, so has found a middle ground.)

vintagebknyc

Thu, Aug 28 2014, 5:28 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

WOW !!???!

Lighten up

IRL, not one of our guests has ever had such a reaction
It's a light hearted joke , among friends .
Nothing more

putting aside the fact that I find it vile, this is a publicly accessible forum. so thank you, natural mom, for letting anyone who searches find that we jews think it's ok to use the word as a joke.

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