Planning an Upsherin

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Forum -> Relationships -> Simcha Section

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mommy1108

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 7:52 pm

For those who have the minhag to keep it more serious and are makpid to really keep the boy from seeing anything tomei on his third birthday:

What did you do for his Upsherin? Did you have a party after the birthday?

amother

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 8:26 pm

I think you might be a bit confused. Not seeing anything tomei is for the day of hachnoso lcheder, until the child eats from the honey cake, not the whole day and not the actual birthday. You can do it on the birthday but don't need to. People are makpid to cut the hair on the actual birthday, but you can go to cheder after.

There is a sefer called Shevach HaBris that discusses all of the minhagim. It's not expensive, and worth the investment in any case.

amother

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 8:40 pm

That's what we were told... by our Rov...the birthday should be away from shmutz.

bnm

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 10:36 pm

we did the hair cutting on Lag Baomer and had the party then. The next week we took him to cheder on his birthday in a tallis, kept him indoors etc etc

The party was just a buffet supper for family-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, was a total of MAYBE 35 people counting all the kids. There was no entertainment or 3 tiered cakes....
The day of the birthday he left the house with the tallis, we took him to cheder, he sat with the rebbe and said aleph bais, gave out peklach, danced a bit and then it was back in the car with the tallis and straight home. We stayed indoors the rest of the day.

amother

Fri, Sep 05 2014, 5:46 am

I will be making upsherin soon. We will be doing the cutting and cheder on the same day. Only immediate family members will be coming in the morning to take part in the cutting ceremony. Mostly men though my mother and mil will be there too. Everyone will sit down for a little 'l'chaim' after the cutting and then we head to cheder with my son in a tallis. I will be keeping him home for the rest of the day and will be making another small party for the rest of my family and friends the following day after cheder.

It's probably not the norm but that's how it worked out best for us. It's also more practical for my family as no one is working after school hours and the kids are able to come too.

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