Overwhelmed!!! How does everyone do it???

hello123

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 8:58 pm

I work and BH have 3 kids. By the time I make dinner feed kids baths( not every night) and bedtime I am EXHAUSTED. I would love to clean up/ straighten up but im so tired. My youngest is 6 months old. In general how does everyone do it all. There are many days I come home from work too tired to make dinner and we order out but its really expensive and I dont want to. Im just so tired. I realized recently that I have to start eating better bec I think it will help me have more energy but I need energy to do this. I know this is just a stage now but I honestly really feel overwhelmed by working outside the home. Theres just not enough hours in the day to do it all.
I want to be patient and loving to my kids and husband. Thats my priority. What can I do about the rest of the stuff?

4Sisters

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 9:09 pm

I have cleaning help every Friday. I truly say this woman is my sanity and I could spend the money on her or on a therapist. Can you divert the money you're spending on takeout and get some/some more cleaning help?

Also want to give a plug for iron pills. You have a baby and it's possible you're slightly anemic.

Good luck. I hear you! (And my kids are older and I don't work full-time and I still hear ya!)

amother

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 9:11 pm

We are all overwhelmed. I do cockpot dinners 2-3x a week so they are hot and ready when I get home.
I make pasta on Sunday and reheat it as needed during the week as a side dish.
I use frozen French fries once a week as a side.
I use buns, pita, lafa, baguette as sides for burgers, hit dogs chicken, etc.
Create a schedule like Monday cockpot, Tuesday dairy, Wednesday vegan, Thursday sandwiches. It works.
Doesn't mean the house is clean. But we're well fed.

amother

Thu, Sep 04 2014, 9:47 pm

Some things that work for me...I find having a "system" is what I do well with)
I do a ton on sunday morning first thing when I am rested from shabbos. I do several loads of laundry. I cook supper for sunday and one other night. I also make a soup for the week. We eat shabbos leftovers monday. I only cook supper on wed and thursday I wing something. I never start my errands before about 2:00. At around 2/2:30 I do my errands. Come home to a supper already cooked and then bedtime.

I taught my kids to shower themselves starting at around age 4 with the door open and me listening in to alleviate the bath time conundrum on weeknights.

Kids clean up their stuff before they go to bed.

A baby Carrier for my 5 month old is a huge help for me to free up my hands

Sometimes ill doze off for few minutes as I put kids to sleep and get up refreshed to do housework

My dh does help with grocery shopping and some cleaning as needed ( I can ask him to vacuum or wash dishes and he does)

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 4:47 pm

Dont kid urself jnto thinking everyone else manages and ur overhwlemed. We r all overwhelmed and it is overhwleming a lot of the time. Heres what helps me. I cook every sun morn one or two things in bulk. Ex meatballs shnitsel deli rolls kugals cupcakes and freeze. I cook for at least four dinners at a time. Cupcakes for skl snacks or cookies which stay in freezer and I can grab when needed. Sun eve is leftovers. If not enough I top up with hotdogs and fries. Mon something with chopped meat. Tues somethinf with chicken breast. Wed either goulash or chicken in croc pot. Thurs mac and cheese. So easy easy cooking and mon and tuea I cld use my meatballs or shnitsel if I need.
Clothes for kids go out nite bf and if too tires to showet them I do it quickly in morn when im fresher. Hope thay helps

zaq

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 5:13 pm

We are (or were) all overwhelmed. We hang on by our teeth and the tips of our bleeding fingernails until the kids get older, more independent, less messy, and capable of pulling their weight to some extent.

I haven' t made a cooked weeknight meal in decades, and now that we're empty-nesters, I still don't. Supper is israeli-style with salads enhanced with tuna or salmon from the can, hummus, sliced cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt and similar foods. Occasionally microwave pizza made by spreading tomato paste on pita or flatbread and topped with whatever we have: chopped bell pepper, mushrooms, chopped or sliced onion, sliced olives, tons of garlic, black pepper, oregano, and plenty of cheese. With a glass of milk it's a meal in itself. In winter I make big pots of veggie soups like carrot and split pea, and these last all week. Sometimes longer.

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 6:38 pm

I also have a schedule for dinners. Nothing takes more than 10 minutes to put together. The one day I get home a bit earlier I make roasted potatoes, which also takes less than 10 minutes to put together, but longer to cook.

Sunday leftovers, Monday omelets and noodles. Tuesday meatballs and rice or hamburgers, Wednesday fish (baked breaded tilapia or tuna croquettes) and potatoes. Thursday pizza pita or grilled cheese.

Put clothes in the washer in the morning, dryer before going to sleep. Fold shirts and pants, hang skirts, don't stress over undergarments.

Invest in a spray mop and a carpet sweeper. My once a week cleaning help does the real mopping/vacuuming.

Kids over 5 shower themselves. Little kids bathe together.

Toys not put away before bedtime go in a big laundry basket on my closet. Kids do basic chores to earn them back (take out garbage, load dishwasher with dinner dishes, wash dishes, deliver laundry, etc.)

Carrier for the baby is a G-d send.

My husband does some of the grocery shopping, which is a huge help, and will do dishes or fold laundry if I ask.

Whenever I have an extra hour I bake in bum and freeze. If I'm making soup I double it and freeze. Any freeze able shabbos food is the same.

And never sit down. If I sit down I fall asleep, so I just stand all evening until I can't anymore.

rachel6543

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 7:02 pm

debsey wrote:

couple of words for you:

1) freezer. You can freeze everything, including potato kugel
2) CLEANING LADY.
3) coffee on way home
4) Baths are overrated. Skip nights!
5) Husband. Equipped with working body. Capable of helping. HIS KIDS, HIS HOME TOO!

Agree with this 100%.

I have an extra giant freezer. When you bake/cook make extra and freeze.

Easy, quick dinners during week. We love breakfast for dinner.

Cleaning help so worth it! My cleaning lady comes 2 hrs a week for all the big stuff... bathroom, floors, dusting, kitchen.

Fluff n' fold for laundry. When my son was a baby we did that for a few months when I didn't have my own washer/dryer.

Yes, make husband help. My husband does baths many nights now. He does his own laundry and the vacuuming. I just have to ask him and he'll help.

causemommysaid

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 7:33 pm

SS6099 wrote:

For all those with cleaning help: WHEN???? I work full time and have only once a week. I'd love to have more hours but being that I'm home so little, it's very hard I find someone for that time Sad

I wish there were a solution on that end...

I hide my key. she knows where I put it and lets herself in.

I pay her when I get home.

yeah- a little risky but I rather have a clean house and take the risk.

dancingqueen

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 8:42 pm

amother wrote:

Wow you are supermom! I like to sit and relax with my dh a bit after the kids are asleep, wish I had your stamina!

Last edited by dancingqueen on Mon, Sep 22 2014, 8:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 8:52 pm

I was working 3-4 12 hour shifts a week with an hour plus commute each way and not functioning very well when highly pregnant and wondering how others do it. Now I'm on maternity leave with just one baby and I wonder the same thing. The house is a far bigger mess and while I have more energy I STILL don't get everything done! I do make a lot more home cooked dinners which my husband appreciates and will likely disappear after I go back to work but hey, somethings gotta give!

Fave

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 8:54 pm

Who says we manage?

During the year, when everything runs on schedule, I manage to pull it together since everything follows a set system.

However come Holidays or a sick child, everything seems to go off skelter and I feel like I'm losing my mind.....

That's life..... If you wouldn't be busy from work, you'll be busy with something else. No one has a free ride.

amother

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 9:05 pm

SS6099 wrote:

For all those with cleaning help: WHEN???? I work full time and have only once a week. I'd love to have more hours but being that I'm home so little, it's very hard I find someone for that time Sad

I wish there were a solution on that end...

I leave the door unlocked and she lets herself and locks it behind her. It is risky, but I don't keep cash in the house and the only other thing of value that I could see her stealing is jewelry, so on the day that I have a cleaning lady I take my jewelry roll to work in my handbag.

zaq

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 9:08 pm

SS6099 wrote:

For all those with cleaning help: WHEN???? I work full time and have only once a week. I'd love to have more hours but being that I'm home so little, it's very hard I find someone for that time Sad

I wish there were a solution on that end...

when I had a cleaning lady, she came during the day when the babysitter was there. I had child care in my home, did not bring kids to a sitter.

tichellady

Mon, Sep 22 2014, 10:06 pm

Re: cleaning lady when working full time. You can hire someone to come on Sunday or at night. I have someone come right when I leave my house for work in the morning. I let her in, pay her and give her a list of what I would like to do. The first time she came I spent 20 minutes showing her around my house and I told my boss I would be late to work. I trust her as she has worked for my mom and family friends for quite some time.