What's wrong with traveling to school?

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 7:54 am

This post is probably more of rant/awareness post, than it is a question, but I am shocked that "traveling for school" is not accepted in many communities. I grew up in a city where very few schools have buses (although more are acquiring a busing system), and it was an acceptable thing for parents, carpools, and drivers to drive children to schools in different cities. Some children lived nearby, but others lived an hour or more away. The children who lived further, such as myself, woke up at 5:30 and left the house by 6:15 to get to school 7:15. (Our schools start earlier). I don't understand why if I want to send my child to a school in BP, Monsey, etc. I have to live in that city. I really think that if people started sending to schools they like (versus what's close) the schools would have to improve themselves to fight with the competition. The schools may become more selective, but it would widen the options. If you live in a different city schools here assume you're trying to "hide" something. It's ridiculous.

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:04 am

It's wonderful if it worked for you. Not every young teen would be able to cope with that kind of schedule. I can't imagine my teenager getting up at 5:30 in the morning to travel to school, and stay awake during her classes, and have time for her schoolwork, and some socialization.....

It's such a long, exhausting day as it is.

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:07 am

Chayalle wrote:

You cannot imagine it because it is so far from acceptable in your mind. I mean why it is not considered socially and religiously acceptable.

Anyways, schools in NY (people in NY, actually) start quite late, so no one would be waking up 5:30. Where I come from, kids who woke up at 6:30 were considered SLEEPERS!!!!

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:09 am

Just to clarify, I'm referring to preschool and elementary school as well. Let's say that a family lives in Monsey, and both parents work in BP. What's wrong with the children going to school there. Or someone in Lakewood who wants to send their children to school in the city. Even if parents don't work in the cities, it would naturally improve the education as well as the behavior of the staff. Schools would become more competitive, and children would have a greater variety and better matches of schools. Parents would be able to look for more affordable housing too!

Chayalle

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:13 am

Two of my sisters went to high school in Brooklyn, because my parents felt that the local high school was not a good fit for them. But they did not travel on a daily basis - they stayed at my grandmother all week and came home for Shabbos.

I was the first in my family to attend the local high school (my grandmother A"H had passed away and I did not want to board by strangers). I did quite well there and all my younger sisters followed.

I don't think it's an issue if a family wants to send their child to a school in another city. But I don't think it should be forced on the family. I think a community has an obligation to accept those who apply to their schools. If a family chooses a school in another city that's their prerogative.

My parents were surprised at how well the local school turned out for them....just saying this. Sometimes parents are convinced that a school is not an option, not a good fit, etc...and it can work out just fine.

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:17 am

I have a big commute to take my kids to school, but I have no choice in the matter. If I lived where there were selections of Jewish schools they'd have to be pretty awful for me to subject my kids and myself to all the time sitting in traffic when we don't have to.

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:30 am

This is the life of Jewish school, unless you want to settle wherever your school is- which may mean being the only frum in the area where they happened to find a cheap plot to buy.
My kids are 40, 45 mins each way.

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:37 am

Kids can and do travel distances to Jewish schools every day. Not sure what this "rant" is about... Obviously, any child or adult who could avoid a commute without sacrificing much would prefer it, but almost all the schools I know of have kids bussed in from other areas

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:43 am

My mom had one hour each way to her school- her dad drove them, speeding like crazy because they were always late. It was on the other side of the town. Sometimes she came home by bike (!) imagine how long.

My dad walked kilometers to school, was forbidden to take even a glass of water in the cafés he passed by. He still remembers.

Read rebbetzin Esther Jungreis about being so sick she had to leave the bus- busses actually as she had several ones to take.

Since the shtetl stopped existing, this is that way except in areas where everything is concentrated.

Last edited by Ruchel on Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:44 am; edited 1 time in total

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:43 am

nyer1 wrote:

I don't follow.
who said there was anything wrong with it?

It is not considered acceptable socially & religiously in many communities.

You're probably from a community that does not have a problem with it or where it is the norm or only option, which is why you don't understand the issue.

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:45 am

Ruchel wrote:

My mom had one hour each way to her school- her dad drove them, speeding like crazy because they were always late. It was on the other side of the town.

Read rebbetzin Esther Jungreis about being so sick she had to leave the bus- busses actually as she had several ones to take.

Since the shtetl stopped existing, this is that way except in areas where everything is concentrated.

Ruchel, I'm saying the opposite: I believe we SHOULD travel to schools. I believe it would provide better education and housing opportunities! I think it's wonderful! The schools don't agree. If a regular person from Monsey decided to send her pre school daughter to Bobov in BP, I think she'd have quite a difficult time getting accepted. Furthermore, you wouldn't believe how people would look at her and judge her when it comes to everyday things and shidduchim. I think that it is absurd. Why can't those mothers in Lakewood send their kids to BP? Why is it not acceptable? Why does it make people scream PROBLEM? It's ridiculous! It would be so much better if everyone could travel and send their kids where they feel is best.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:46 am

I also dont get the rant. I grew up in a thriving jewish community in new jersey. But there was no girls high school so I had to travel an hour to school every day. I woke up at 6 and that was life. It was not a big deal. People send their children where they want or where they can.

I dont understand your rant or why you are so upset about this.

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:46 am

amother wrote:

Where are you located?

Scrabble123

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:48 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I was reading the Lakewood and Monsey thread. I saw parents writing that they would never send their child to school in BP. I have a friend in Monsey who really wants her daughter to a school in BP. She would never do it though because her boy's cheder does not allow it because it is looked at as "bummy" even if it's another frum school.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:49 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

Why not? Im seriously asking. I never heard such a thing.

Ruchel

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:54 am

By me people who judge on school judge on school and not distance from aforementioned school.
I know of not hiring a teacher living far, not of not accepting a kid living far.
I can't even imagine in shidduchim "so did you live far from school" lol. The one who walks to school may well be the public schooled one. The one who commutes 3 h daily may well go to a top school.

The only thing I do think of, is those not wanting their kid walking/biking/in bus/subwaying (?) alone. And not having time to go along. My dd's friend is now attending a school more than one hour each way, subway, alone. Second grade. I was a bit taken aback, but no one else seems to be.

Notsobusy

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 8:56 am

I never either heard of it being a social or religious problem. I wouldn't want my children to have to commute for that long. It's tiring, their day is long enough as it is, why add two hours or more. I also want them to be able to get together with classmates, which is hard to do if you commute.
I know people who send kids away to school, either commuting or boarding, if that's what's best for that kid. I never heard of them being judged for it.

Scrabble123 wrote:

Why would this even be a discussion with her son's school? What does it have to do with them?