how do u react in those losing ur sanity scenarios?

Bitachon101

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 10:11 pm

What's ur reaction? For real please.
It could be any situation in your specific situation. But here's mine and I'm just curious for how ppl cope (or don't) when they're at that snapping point.

It plays out in many ways but here goes for a sample day:
Baby woke you up as usual once or twice at night. Your kids woke u up earlier than you really want and need. 2 year olds trying to potty train and needs ur help or he's gonna have accident but then decides he doesn't wanna potty. Instead standing there he makes all over the floor and yells waking up baby whom u finally got back to sleep. Dh in shul then work so not there to help. U try to clean up the mess and stay calm while baby screams. Run back and forth btwn the kiddies, get them dressed, try to get them to eat and try to get them out the door, finally even tho they're late. Too bad. Run back home realize u didn't eat yet but too bad cuz u have 40 min to run an errand needed traffic included, get back wolf down some food, drop off baby at sitter, out to work, typical work stress, stuck on phn at work and come 20 min late to pick up kids frm the sitter, to be told kid made accident, baby cries as soon as u walk in, kid is running around hyper and decides just then he needs to make, u sit and wait- no such luck, finally put on diaper so he doesn't make the second he gets in the car (which of course he does - at least in diaper) falling over face at this point so tired but gotta throw up the last minute supper stuff, kid decides he needs u to be with him while he tries to potty again (but u know he's gonna sit and get nowhere cuz he already wet the diaper) but u want to show him ur proud he's trying so u stand there as u feel like ur toppling over and read a book and then check on supper while he comes running out and jumpin all over and then insists he needs u again in bathroom and then baby wakes up screaming from a short lived nap, and tzedaka ppl knocking on door but u don't answer and u try to nurse baby but he doesn't want and just keeps screaming and kid is kvetching from potty and room is spinning and u just need quiet and a nap and then kid comes out and starts acting out cuz he's frustrated that potty isn't working and won't listen and baby's crying dh not home.... Its that moment u just want to snap!!

WHAT'S YOUR REACTION?
WHAT DO YOU DO?

So my reaction was just trying to stay calm but ended up yelling. Put baby down let him scream a little more. Run into my bed for a few seconds of calming my nerves and refocusing energy and then just going back to settling the sitch and trying to calm everyone down while trying with every ounce of strength not to pass out.
What ended up happening is one kiddy in bed without his supper and in a diaper, and baby plopped in highchair and fed. And then when dh came home kind of took it out on him a bit while I served supper.

How do you cope when ur days seem impossible and u want to give up?

amother

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 10:16 pm

I have these scenarios a lot.

I can say with certainty I do not react the way I should. Have such a hard time keeping patient during these kind of days. No matter how much I tell myself beforehand to stay chilled, it's ok, don't yell, etc.. I end up totally losing it and yelling. I hate it and end up so mad at myself

mommy3b2c

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 10:32 pm

Sometimes I yell. Sometimes when things go beyond out of control, I laugh.

LittleDucky

Mon, Sep 08 2014, 11:12 pm

Caffeine? But seriously, I don't always react the way I'd like or dream I would. But I just try to quickly figure out the "musts" and see who can wait. Baby can scream in a play pen. Potty can't really wait. (Take him, give him a book to look at as a"special treat" and see if you can walk out.) Dinner can wait. I try to have something that could be heated up in 5 minutes in the freezer. Cereal will do too once in a while. Skip baths for a night unless there was diaper explosion or potty mess. It's tough.

Hatzlacha! Hugs!

5*Mom

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 1:44 am

Hugs. If similar situations repeat themselves with some frequency, I try to figure out what's not working on a larger scale and see if I can change or eliminate it. In your case, I think one of those things would be the toilet training. My philosophy is that if it takes so much work on Mommy's part, the child is really not ready yet. The stress of it is not doing either of you any favors. My experience has been that when a child is physically and emotionally ready and really motivated--that is, internally motivated to achieve the milestone, not with treats and prizes--they can train themselves in a day or 2. I would let it go for a few months or more until things are more settled and until the initiative comes from the child himself. You need to eliminate the stress of toilet training for both of you.

amother

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 7:35 am

My kids have seen me really lose it at times and it's unfortunate and I feel badly about it. I am working on it. At least I've always remained in control enough not to hurt anyone. That's at least something to feel okay about when you're really struggling to keep it together.

momtra

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 9:14 am

As long as you're not yelling insults at your kid, or using inappropriate language, I think it's ok to lose it sometines- my kids have seen me lose it during similar situations. When it's something I can learn from and control ( doing a better job at night to prepare for the morning ), I do it- if it's one of those crazy situations that you can't control , how much more pressure can we put ourselves under?!

saw50st8

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 9:31 am

5*Mom wrote:

I totally agree with this.

When I had my third (my kids were 3, 20 months and newborn), my friend gave us her ball pit. The kids loved it. The balls got EVERYWHERE. It was driving me a bit mad. One afternoon, I had just cleaned up the balls when my three year old decided to dump them back out everywhere. I calmly told him to clean up, His 20 month old brother was cleaning up nicely, but my 3 year old was being....3. I totally freaked out on them and yelled like you wouldn't believe. Louder than I ever have in my entire life and hope I never repeat. My 20 month old started cleaning up faster but my 3 year old refused which made me angrier and I yelled more. Finally, when my 20 month old burst into tears, I calmed down. (This was my worst parenting day ever)

Then I got rid of the ball pit.

We all have those days. Sometimes its more than days. Reduce your stress as much as you can.

amother

Tue, Sep 09 2014, 11:11 am

There are times when it's too much and I will go in my room by myself to calm down. Yes, I am leaving two children who probably shouldn't be left to themselves, but to me, it's better than screaming at them (and I try to have them contained before I go in my room).

Bitachon101

Wed, Sep 10 2014, 1:29 am

Does anyone have it all under control and never has this stuff or just breezes thru it or everyone is not coping at some point and loses it?
Like sometimes it seems ppl really are managing with lots of wild kiddies while I'm passing out. Looks can be deceiving but I'm curious if some handle better than others or have methods to eliminate frustration and screaming.