South Bend | Imamother

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 9:53 am

thank you amother from south bend- that's really helpful! I was the one who asked about tuition- 4,000 or even twice that is unbelievable, wow! Smile

compared to what we have here no need for the number. I'm still in shock that it's so low. wow! I think we will be paying around 15 or 16,000 here after building fund and what not.

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 10:39 am

is everyone there yesheivish and what does that mean there- am only familiar with New york, lakewood etc... yesheivish?-
My husband wears a black hat but he's not in to the whole close yourself off from the world. We don't have a tv but do have internet.... I usually wear a tichel instead of a sheital....

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 12:29 pm

The community itself is mixed with a strong leaning towards out of town yeshivish. We have a lot of imported Lakewood families. There are a few families that wear tichels or hats only. There are many that don't have TV but have email. I would say a couple handful that outwardly have TVs or less. There are also several families that are very makbid on not having any type of screens especially in regard to their children. As far as I know all families go to the library but are careful what their kids read. Some more than others. There is a very small Jewish library here not specifically designed for kids so if your kid is a reader the library is a must. It's not looked upon as anything if you keep chalav stam many do either one. Just make sure you know what kids you have playing over so you can offer them a pareve snack if they keep chalav yisroel. No one is looking at what socks you wear etc. In general people are really warm and friendly to all even if not exactly the same hashkafa.

Ruchel

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 3:31 pm

We have more questions.
Bear in mind we cannot swear we can get all the papers so if you prefer helping only someone who has, it's your right. You may also be helping someone else who is posting anon or not posting.

Can someone modern yeshivish have the following in this area:
chalav stam, denim skirt, long sheitel (weekday), kosher movies on dvd/comp, wedding ring on man.
And, what age does the average family puts on tights?

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 4:09 pm

New amother here:
Ruchel, from your questions, you sound like you would fit in just fine. There is some of every type here in South Bend, with a large group of Lakewood style yeshivish, and a nice group of working type yeshivish.
The Day School is separate completely for the upper 6-8 grades, and is careful to keep all the kids above 3-4 grade separate at social situations like lunch, recess, gym, group studies, trips, etc.

Tuition in the Day School is very low, and even lower if you qualify for State Vouchers. Basically, everyone is eligible at least for 50% vouchers unless you are fabulously wealthy. My husband makes close to 100k and we get 50% voucher. Our tuition this year for all our kids is less than $1000 (yes, you read that correctly).

We are what you would consider "working/learning" yeshivish. My husband works and learns at night, we raise our kids with those values. We feel very comfortable here, and everyone respects everyone even though we are all different in subtle ways. The girls Bais Yaakov high school is very yeshivish, but they are inclusive to all types in our community, I don't think they push kollel, but rather the value of learning and living Torah.

The boys yeshiva is very small, they are desperately trying to revitalize it. I would consider it a good option to send your son if you don't want him to go away for high school. They have warm rebbeim and a solid secular curriculum.

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 4:24 pm

amother with questions here Smile

. when you say the highschool is very yesheivish does that mean that there is a lot of memorization,? is hashkafic questioning encouraged etc.,...? is there a very strict dresscode etc...

I'm nervous that the schooling might be too yeshievish for us....

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 4:36 pm

By "extremely yeshivish" I mean it cold compare to any BY in that the girls graduate and go to the same high level seminaries as any one else. They also get a very high quality secular education and could go to college if they so desire. Questioning is not only allowed, but encouraged. I don't know about the methods for teaching chumash.

amother

Tue, Sep 16 2014, 4:45 pm

also, about the dress code: the Day School basically has no dress code, although they may institute one soon. It will be very basic, like you have to wear skirts that cover the knees, but not specify the inches below the knee. They want everyone to feel comfortable to dress the way they are raised at home, within the parameters of halacha. The BY high school wears the typical BY uniform.

amother

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:31 pm

I've lived in South Bend for about 9 years.

Something that is notably distinctive about South Bend's community is the sense of pashtus. For the most part, people dress simply--the newest styles of clothing take awhile to reach us, and when they do, they're no longer so stylish. Plus, some new styles just simply look ridiculous when removed from the fashion world of a bigger city. For the most part, people are not doing extravagant things with their houses and cars either. When people make simchos, they don't go over the top. Someone once called me soon after we moved, before we made a simcha, to emphasize that it didn't need to be fancy--that people appreciate the fact that, in South Bend, our simchas are simple and don't want newcomers to spoil that. The shuls and school also reflect the emphasis on simplicity. The community leaders place a lot of value on keeping things affordable, not building/remodling more than necessary, not placing unnecessary financial burdens on the community as a whole.

This is the quality that I appreciate most about South Bend. Even if there are some things I wish could change here, every day I appreciate the simple and relaxed quality of life.

amother

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 1:52 pm

previous poster- are people able to "change" things- in a good way. for example if we wanted to help put together a nice website for the school or start a bnos group etc....... would that be appreciated or things are done the way they are done and everything just goes according to a few rabbis and noone else's imput is needed/wanted? I hope my question is clear and didn't come out wrong.

amother

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 2:14 pm

amother wrote:

Tuition in the Day School is very low, and even lower if you qualify for State Vouchers. Basically, everyone is eligible at least for 50% vouchers unless you are fabulously wealthy. My husband makes close to 100k and we get 50% voucher. Our tuition this year for all our kids is less than $1000 (yes, you read that correctly).

wow, are you serious? how many kids do you have?

amother wrote:

The boys yeshiva is very small, they are desperately trying to revitalize it. I would consider it a good option to send your son if you don't want him to go away for high school. They have warm rebbeim and a solid secular curriculum.

what type of boys go there? is it a good fit for a boy who is very unmotivated about learning?

amother

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 3:25 pm

I would rather not say how many kids I have, but they range in all ages from preschool to the upper grades. Between the vouchers and another school scholarship, all we have to pay is basically for our preschool child. For one reason or another, we only have $1000 balance this year. I know, I was shocked too when we got the statement. Regular preschool tuition is about 4k. the highest amount for 7-8 grades is 5.5k.

If a boy is a good boy, not rebellious just not motivated, he may do very well in this environment. The rebbeim are warm, the community is caring and opens their homes to the boys for Shabbos meals, and the school is small.

To the amother who asked about trying to improve things like making a website, I think it would be welcomed and appreciated. Things that are more controversial and political (like building a new mikva, the type of mechitza used in shul), can take more time to change.

busydev

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:01 pm

amother wrote:

AFAIK they have bnos groups which rotates between different houses every week.

I dont live in south bend but we did try to move there for a couple years and it just didnt work out. We go to visit every so often (I have relatives there) and I think it is a wonderful, warm place. im not in all the politics there may or may not be so I cant answer the question you asked here.

amother

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:24 pm

The mechitza in the HOC shul is quite shvach--on the short side, the upper half is iron bar-work with greenery interwoven. A mid-sized man can easily see over and everyone can see through it. This issue has been "being discussed" for a LONG time (all 9 years we've been here, and even before that). A very simple and nice-looking prototype that is taller and doesn't make women visible to men was made and actually is displayed in the shul, but for the last year it is simply sitting there and the board's discussion has not moved forward. This is the kind of thing that is very difficult to change in South Bend.

The Torah Center (the outreach shul) has opaque, tall movable dividers as a mechitza.

Lydia

Wed, Sep 17 2014, 4:28 pm

The person who is paying $1000 for a few kids is an anomaly, I think. (But I could be wrong! Scholarship information is not so public.)

K-6 tuition is $5000 (pre-school is less, 7 and 8 more). The 50% voucher is about $3,300 for one kid. So without a scholarship, it would be about $1700.

That's still an amazingly small amount.